“I mean you no harm,” he said carefully. “I was expecting one person.”
Ameri sighed. “This is Prisca and her brother Tibris.”
Lanos just nodded. Leaning down, he pushed a crate aside, revealing a hidden door in the floor. “We need to go through here,” he said. “You’ll have to crawl. It’s narrow.”
Just looking at the small space made my chest tight. Already, it felt as if the walls around me were closing in, ready to suffocate me.
“I’ll bring the narminoi back here,” Tibris murmured to me.
Ameri’s gaze hardened as she watched me, silently judging. “If you truly want to work in the castle, you better get used to this. Rebels are the rats creeping in tunnels beneath the city, in secret passages within the castle. If you’re going to stay alive, you’ll need to master that fear. Besides, you’ll need to use the tunnels tomorrow with Vicer.”
I swallowed, humiliation making my cheeks heat. “I can do it.”
Tibris hesitated. Ignoring him, I stalked to the open door.
“Wait,” Tibris said. “He goes first.” He pointed at Lanos. “Then you.” He nodded at Ameri.
She just sent him a shrug and a placid smile. “Fine.”
Within a few moments, I was staring down at the ladder and beneath it to where Ameri’s feet had just slipped out of sight.
People were buried in graves this narrow.
Tibris had decided he’d follow me to “guard my back.” Part of me wondered if it was so he could soothe me if I lost my mind halfway.
Lorian’s voice played through my mind.
“Every time I think you’re about to stop being a scared little mouse and actually reveal the woman I believe you are, you prove me wrong. Well, sweetheart, we don’t have time for your insecurity or self-doubt.”
I loathed that I’d let the cold mercenary into my head. But he was right. We didn’t have time for my insecurity. Or my self-doubt.
Sucking in a deep breath, I forced myself to think about anything except the tiny space below us.
Asinia. Think of Asinia.
That helped. If she could suffer in the king’s dungeon, I could do this.
I began counting off the seconds as I lowered myself down the ladder. Prickles of dread traveled from the back of my neck down my spine. My eyes met Tibris’s, and he gave me a reassuring smile.
Why couldn’t I have been afraid of anything except small spaces?
I made it to the bottom of the ladder, moving aside so Tibris could come down too. My heart tripped over its next beat until it was racing fast enough, it was as if I were sprinting, fleeing for my life.
Dropping to my knees, I peered into the tunnel. Ameri’s feet were barely visible in the gloom, but the fact that I could see them meant the tunnel couldn’t be as long as I’d imagined.
Tibris landed behind me. “We don’t have to do this.”
“Don’t coddle me.” If I was going to be the kind of person who could break Asinia out of the king’s dungeon, I could no longer afford weaknesses. I needed to conquer my fears. Needed to become hardened to such things.
Tibris turned silent.
I sighed. “I’ve…come to realize that in these kinds of situations, I respond better to impatience and the implication that I’m a coward than I do to soft words and encouragement.”
“Well, that’s not entirely healthy, but if it’s what you need…”
More silence. Tibris cleared his throat, obviously searching for an insult.
I hadn’t thought I’d have it in me to laugh at a time like this, but giggles burst from me. Even when asked to treat me with disdain, my brother couldn’t do it.
“We’re losing sight of them,” he said finally, and I huffed out another laugh. If that was all Tibris had, I’d take it.
The dirt floor was rough beneath my hands and knees. The walls around me were so close, my head brushed against them a few times. My pulse galloped. Exactly how long would it take to die down here if the exit was blocked?
“You’re doing great, Pris. Ah, I mean, move faster, you weakling.”
His voice had turned miserable by the last word, and I awkwardly reached behind me, squeezing his hand. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be mean to me. It’s enough that you’re here.”
Besides, I was suspecting I only responded to taunts from a certain gruff, endlessly amused mercenary. And that was just depressing.
“I’ll always be with you,” Tibris said.
Because we were all each other had. Because of me. Sometimes, the grief and guilt expanded inside me until I could barely breathe.