I took a sip, coughing as it burned down my throat, then chased it with another. “Doesn’t feel that way.”
She lifted one furred shoulder, then gestured to the ledge I’d rolled off, higher than Bjorn was tall. “If you’d landed a few feet to the left or right, you’d have cracked that pretty skull of yours beyond repair, but instead the mountain tossed you into a pool of water just deep enough to cushion your fall.”
“It’s not a fucking mountain!” Bjorn shouted. “It’s only a hill!”
Bodil’s eyebrows rose, then she laughed. “Although the truly amazing thing is that Bjorn didn’t piss himself when he didn’t save you from falling off the”—she smirked—“hill.”
She laughed as Bjorn’s hands tightened around me, and I didn’t understand why he cared so much about semantics to pick a quarrel over them. His heart thudded where my shoulders pressed against his chest, slowing its thunder only as Bodil began pulling off her shirts and he asked, “How many shirts are you wearing, woman?”
“Six,” she answered. “And three pairs of trousers. I’ve little tolerance for the cold.”
Taking another mouthful of liquor, I reluctantly pulled away from Bjorn and handed back his fur cloak, wanting to weep as the icy wind sliced my soaked body. Shaking hard, I tried to pull my mail over my head, but it felt like my arms weren’t working properly and Bjorn had to intervene, pulling it upward and then dropping it to the ground. “Close your eyes,” I said between chattering teeth, then glanced up to ensure he had complied.
His lids were closed, black lashes resting against his cheeks. Yet with unerring precision, he caught hold of the hem of my padded tunic, removing it before moving on to the shirt I wore beneath. The backs of his knuckles brushed against my skin as he lifted it carefully over my head, easing my stiff and unwieldy arms from the garment as the wind clawed at my naked breasts.
I wanted to be back in his arms, to curl into the heat of him and inhale the smell of him. I wanted him to open his eyes and look at me. I wanted him to drive away not only the cold crippling my flesh but also the cold consuming my heart. Instead I forced my arms up so that Bodil could lower her shirt over my head, barely feeling the fine wool against my numb skin. She added a thicker wool tunic, then lifted Bjorn’s cloak over my shoulders.
“His blood is the temperature of boiling water,” she said. “He could walk naked up this mountain and not feel the chill.” Reaching out, she lifted the skin of liquor to my lips again. “Drink up, Freya. Will keep your toes from freezing off before we reach the top.”
All I could manage was a jerky nod, allowing Bjorn to gather my soaked clothing and mail, leaving me with only my shield to carry as I followed Bodil up the slope. Each step was an act of will, my muscles so stiff that, if not for the pain, they’d have seemed made of wood rather than flesh. Hugging myself, I pressed on, my chest aching, each breath a ragged gasp of cold air.
I stumbled, Bjorn catching my elbows and keeping me from falling.
“Don’t you dare carry her,” Bodil called over her shoulder. “She needs to keep her blood moving.”
Tears leaked onto my cheeks to mix with the sleet, my nose running and forcing me to gasp in air through my mouth, my bottom lip drying, then cracking. I licked at it, tasting blood, then I tripped again.
Bjorn caught me. “I’ve got you.”
He started to lift me into his arms, and I desperately wanted to let him. Instead, I twisted away and fixed my eyes on Bodil’s heels. “This is my test, not yours.”
Which meant I had to walk on my own feet.
Tomorrow, I’d lead all the warriors in our camp into battle on their faith that I was someone worth following. I wanted to prove I was worth it. Wanted them to fight at my side not because of signs from the gods but because I was strong and capable. No one would think that if I allowed Bjorn to carry me into camp because I was cold.
I clenched my hands into fists, the sleeves of Bodil’s tunic mercifully long enough to cover my hands, because my mittens were soaked. And I climbed.
Higher and higher, the sleet lashing my face, the wind attempting to tear Bjorn’s cloak from my body. I couldn’t feel my toes and I stumbled every few steps, but I brushed Bjorn away whenever he tried to help me.
I could do this.
I would do this.
The sky dimmed, the sun dipping below the horizon, all warmth leached from the air. How much farther could it be? Exposed as we were on the mountainside, the thought of stumbling around in the cold and the dark looking for the rest of the group kindled embers of fear in my chest.