I . . . I just humped my best friend to the point that both of us orgasmed.
I’m freaking out.
Big time.
We crossed a line, a big one, and I’m pretty sure I just ruined everything.
There’s a knock on the door, followed by, “Lia, you okay?”
No.
I’m not at all.
“Yeah,” I call out. “Just, uh, changing and going to the bathroom. Be out in a second.”
“Lia, do you want to talk about this?” His voice is sincere and comforting. Not the same as the man who told me to use his cock for pleasure. This is the Breaker I know. The Breaker I love.
“What?” I squeak out. “No, of course not. Nothing to talk about.” I change out of my shorts and my shirt and slip his shirt on, leaving me in nothing but his clothes . . . that smell just like him of course.
With turmoil twisting in my stomach, I go to the bathroom, clean up, and then don’t bother to look in the mirror before I leave because what’s the point? I know what I’ll see—someone incredibly scared about what just happened.
I exit the bathroom to find Breaker on the other side of the door, holding a new pair of shorts.
“Hey,” he says as he lifts my chin so I’m forced to look him in the eyes. “You good?”
I tack on a smile because if I’ve learned anything from Brian in the past year and a half that I was with him, it’s to know how to fake a smile. “Of course. Just really exhausted now.” I pat his bare chest. “Took it out of me. Do you, uh, want me to go back to my place?”
“No.” His brow furrows. “No, I want you to stay here with me.”
“Okay, just wanted to make sure.” I smile and then start to move past him when he presses his hand to my stomach, stopping me.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Positive.”
I know he’s not convinced, but he lets go of me. He moves toward the bathroom while I make my way to the bed and slip under the covers. This time, I just use my pillow, staying on my side while my mind races. I probably just messed up my friendship. It was amazing when his mouth was on me. I got so lost, so quick, and in the moment, I didn’t care about anything other than the friction and heat we were creating.
Was it really all worth it?
Was it worth ruining this friendship?
Fresh from the bathroom, Breaker walks up to the bed, where he slips in. I half expect him to stay on his side, but he pulls me close to his chest by the stomach and buries his head in my hair.
I’m breathless, unsure of what to do.
He’s snuggling again.
He’s spooning me.
His entire body is in control of mine.
“You sure you’re good?” he asks, his breath caressing the back of my neck.
“Yes,” I whisper, my heart racing a mile a minute.
“Okay. Night, Lia.”
I swallow hard and whisper, “Night, Breaker.”
He snuggles in closer while I lie there, wide awake.
Instead of falling asleep, I remain restless, captured in his strong arm, battling between reveling in the way he holds me so close and freaking out that I just ruined everything.
When he drifts off and his grip loosens, I take that moment to slip out of bed, out of his bedroom, and over to my apartment, where I lie awake the rest of the night.
You fucked up, Lia.
You fucked up big time.
Chapter Seventeen
BREAKER
Smiling to myself, remembering last night as if it was just a minute ago, I stretch my arm out to the side to bring Lia in close to me, but when my arm hits the empty mattress, I crack my eyes open to find nothing but an empty bed.
“Fuck,” I mutter as I press the heel of my palm to my eye.
She ran.
I should have fucking known.
In the moment—God, it was amazing—she was right there with me.
But after, even though she didn’t want to admit it, I felt her running as fast as she could. Mentally, she was checking out of the possibility of an us and freaking out over the fact that there could possibly be an us.
I sit up in my bed and look around the room for any trace of her. Maybe, if I’m lucky, she’s in the kitchen or the living room with her favorite cup of coffee, but then again, I don’t smell it.
I quickly go to the bathroom as a dull throb starts pounding at the base of my skull, reminding me of the many drinks I had last night.
I’d like to say mistakes were made all around, but to me, last night wasn’t a mistake. The only thing I regret is not talking this out and not following my gut instinct that she wasn’t okay afterwards.