Breaker: But Brian asked, and I felt obligated to say yes. Who knows, maybe this girl will be the love of my life.
Lia: Birdy and Breaker, it does have a nice ring to it.
Breaker: We clearly would need to name all of our children with B names.
Lia: Bertha, Bernard, and Barabbas . . . Auntie Lia is coming for those snuggles.
Breaker: Watch out, Barabbas is still wetting his pants when you squeeze him too hard.
Lia: I thought Birdy took him to the pediatrician to see what the squeeze pee was all about.
Breaker: Weak urethra, just going to have to give him time. Squeeze gently.
Lia: Barabbas is getting a head pat. Bertha and Bernard will be squeezed.
Breaker: Don’t you DARE treat Barabbas differently. He’s human like the rest of us.
Lia: You’re right . . . you’re right, that was wrong of me. I’ll just squeeze gently and wear old shoes.
Breaker: Now there’s a good aunt.
Lia: For the record, Birdy is a blonde, and blondes aren’t your favorite. So curb your displeasure.
Breaker: A blonde? Huh, maybe this one I’ll like.
Lia: Only time will tell. Seriously, though, you’re good with this? I can cancel with Brian.
Breaker: No, it’s good. Seriously. Might be nice. I haven’t been out on a date in . . . well, a long time.
Lia: I’ve never seen you out on a date. This is sort of exciting. I get to see how Breaker puts on the moves.
Breaker: Please don’t stare at me the entire time, watching my every move and smirking behind your napkin.
Lia: The urge to do just that is sitting very heavily on my chest because the joy I would reap from that is so overwhelming that my cup would be full for weeks. But I understand such behavior will cause you to sweat, and no one likes a sweaty pickle.
Breaker: Your concern for me feels so genuine. Thank you.
Lia: Anytime. So do you know what you’re going to wear?
Breaker: Can we not do this, please?
Lia: Umm, great suggestion, but no. Brian setting you up with Birdy is probably one of the best things to ever happen to me.
Breaker: More than your engagement?
Lia: Don’t tell Brian . . . but maybe.
Breaker: I always knew you were a different breed, but this really proves it. I’m going to bed.
Lia: But I’m not done teasing you and testing your patience.
Breaker: At least you’re honest about it. Good night.
I raise my hand to the wall and knock four times.
She knocks three, and for the second night in a row . . . I don’t get much sleep at all.
Chapter Four
LIA
“Today is the day!” I singsong as I make my way through Breaker’s apartment to his bedroom, where the curtains are drawn and he’s still in bed. Just a lump of a human sprawled across his mattress. “Good morning!”
“Grrrrrrr,” he growls into his pillow.
“Time to rise and shine,” I say while I fling open his curtains, flooding his room with the brilliantly bright California sun. “It’s date day.”
“Which is not until tonight, so why are you bothering me now?” he groans while placing his pillow over his head.
I turn to face him and spot part of his ass cheek hanging out for the world to see. “My God!” I say, covering my eyes. “Your butt is showing.”
“That’s what you get for walking in on me. You know I sleep naked.” He adjusts his blankets.
“How would I know that?”
“You’re my best friend. You should know everything about me.” His voice is muffled by the pillow, but I can still understand him. “Like I know that if I were to remove this pillow, I would find you in a pair of bike shorts, some random Zelda shirt, and your hair clipped up because you can’t have it touching your neck so early in the morning.” He moves the pillow to the side to get a look at me, and when he knows he’s right, he smirks and puts the pillow back.
“That was a lucky guess.”
“Not a guess.” He pokes his head. “All knowledge up here. Let me guess, you also ordered breakfast to lessen the blow of waking me up, and it will be here in five minutes. You ordered pancakes because you’ve been craving them. Still, you didn’t get them from your favorite place because you know I prefer the breakfast burrito from Salty’s. Hence, you caved and ordered from there despite them not having the maple-walnut syrup you love so much.”
“You know, it’s unflattering to be a know-it-all.”
His chest rumbles with a laugh. “Not trying to flatter you, so no problem there.” On a loud sigh, he raises his hands above his head and says, “Toss me my shorts.”