“We can save some time at the end to dig deep into your non-relationship.”
“Ehh, that’s okay. I think I’m good.” He takes a sip of his beer and says, “So what’s going on? Your text read desperate need of help, and if anything, I like a good story, so tell me.”
I take a sip of my beer as well—actually more like a gulp—and say, “You know Lia is getting married, right?”
“Yeah, and you’re the man of honor, right?”
“Right.” I look out toward the skyline, unsure how to do this. “Hell, I don’t think what I’m going to say will make a lot of sense. It will sound like a bunch of rambling, but I don’t know how to talk about this without rambling.”
“Good thing you came to me. I’m good at deciphering rambling. Lay it on me.”
“Well, to begin with, I was shocked when Lia told me she was engaged. She and Brian, they, I don’t know, have a different relationship. I feel like when you’re dating someone, you’re all in, right? Like, you want to spend as much time with them as possible.”
Banner nods in agreement. “Yeah, I know that feeling.”
“Well, they aren’t like that. They can go a few nights without seeing each other, and I always thought that was weird, so when she said he proposed, and she said yes, I was truly shocked.”
“Yeah, I would be too.”
“And then she told me they’re getting married in five weeks, well, more like four weeks now. And I don’t know, this sense of panic consumed me. I couldn’t quite place it other than I was afraid to lose her.”
“That’s natural since you guys are so close.” Banner takes a sip of his beer.
“Right,” I say, gesturing my hand toward him. “That’s what I thought too. We are so close that I’m worried about losing that friendship. And I don’t get along with her fiancé as much as I probably should, so I made an effort to reach out to him and solve that issue because I didn’t want anything weird between us, anything that he could use against me so she doesn’t hang out as much.”
“Very smart.”
“But then he ended up setting me up with this girl, Birdy. On a double date.”
Banner winces. “That smells like a whole bunch of awkward.”
“It was. Very awkward, but Birdy turned out to be really cool and funny, and we’ve hung out a few times since.”
“Okay, any chemistry there?”
“That’s the problem.” I lean back in my chair and take a sip of my beer. “I’ve kissed her twice now, and although the thought of being intimate with someone was appealing, each time I kissed her, it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. It just felt normal. Like every other woman I’ve ever kissed, and I don’t know, I feel like there should be a feeling that’s more than normal, right?”
“If you want to get down to it, yeah. When you kiss someone, someone you think you could date or be with, there should be a spark. Especially that first kiss. The first kiss tells you everything you need to know.”
“There wasn’t any spark. Not even a blip.” I sigh heavily. “And then . . . today.”
“Now we’re getting to the good stuff,” Banner jokes. I don’t mind because he’s keeping it really light, which I appreciate.
“Lia and I got in a fight two nights ago, and today was wedding dress shopping day. She told me not to come because of the fight, and there was no way I’d let her do that alone, so I showed up, and the relief on her face was something I wasn’t expecting. And she clung to me like I was her lifesaver.”
“Uh-huh . . .” Banner drags out.
I press my lips together and finally say, “Well, when I saw her in her dress . . .” I shake my head. “Dude, I swear to God it was an out-of-body experience. I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like it. My mouth went dry, I started to sweat, but I was cold at the same time. I couldn’t breathe, but my heart was beating so hard that I thought my chest would explode. And then . . .” I look away. “When she made eye contact with me, it was like a million butterflies took flight in my stomach, and I swear to you, at that moment, I had this overwhelming need to kiss her. Like, it was pulling me to the point that I almost did it. I’ve never felt that way, ever, besides the first day I ever met her, and now, well, I’m totally fucked in the head, and I don’t know what’s going on.”
Banner slowly nods his head, taking it all in. He sips his beer and then sets the glass bottle on the table. “I’ll tell you what’s going on.” He looks me in the eyes. “You’re in love with your best friend, and you just finally realized it.”