“A mustache, huh?” JP asks.
“Tell us what the hell is going on,” Huxley says in that father-figure voice of his.
I take a deep breath while I squeeze the steering wheel of my car at a red light. I should be stressed by the goddamn lawsuit being hurled toward me. I should be worried that the Cane name is being disparaged. But no. I’m stressed about the woman I love who I just told I’d fuck hard enough to make her hoarse from orgasms. The fuck? But first . . . “I, uh . . . came to the conclusion that I have feelings for Lia.”
There’s silence.
And then, “I fucking told you he was going to figure it out in a week,” JP says. “Spending that much time with a girl you’re harboring feelings for while she attempts to plan a wedding with another man, yeah, that will give you a swift kick to the scrotum.”
“Can we not play the I-told-you-so game?” I ask.
“But we did,” Huxley says. “We told you this would happen.”
“Okay, great, wonderful, you two are modern-day matchmakers. Congratulations. Now, can we please move on?”
“Glad you can be big enough to acknowledge that,” JP says.
“How does this pertain to work and fucking up?” Huxley asks.
“I can’t be around her anymore. I need reasons I can’t help with the planning of her wedding.”
“So you’re just going to crush her like that?” JP asks. “Dude, that’s not cool.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do?” I ask. “I just told her if she was mine, I’d never let her go. I would fuck her every chance I had.”
“Whoa, what?” Huxley says.
“Uh, dude, that’s a bit extreme for not even admitting your feelings. How? Did you just announce that you’d fuck her out of the blue?”
“No.” I drag my hand over my face. “We were talking about the honeymoon phase, and I mentioned how I wouldn’t let her out of my sight but quickly changed it to my girl. But then, after that, she tells me that she and Brian barely have sex because he’s tired, and I just fucking lost it. All I could think about was how this lucky son of a bitch was taking advantage of her and how he didn’t deserve her, and I told her that if she was mine, we’d be fucking all the time, so yeah . . . there you have it. I need to not be around her anymore, and if I could return to work, that would be great. Thank you.”
“You can’t come back to work yet,” Huxley says. “Not until Taylor says it’s clear.”
“So what am I supposed to do? Keep being her man of honor when clearly all I want is her?”
“You could do some next-level shit and jeopardize her wedding so she doesn’t get married at all,” JP says.
“Don’t listen to him,” Huxley cuts in. “That’s a terrible fucking idea. Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”
“Please,” I scoff. “We all know how that goes. I tell her how I feel, she doesn’t feel the same way. She ends up patting me on the shoulder, and then we don’t talk anymore.”
“Where are you getting your evidence from? Movies and TV shows?”
“Of course, where else?” I ask as I pull into the parking lot of the trailhead.
“Probably not your best source of reality,” JP says. “I think Huxley is right. You tell her, and if she doesn’t feel the same way, at least you know, and you can move on.”
“What about that Birdy girl? Can’t you move on with her?” Huxley asks.
“I’m about to tell her I can’t see her anymore because I like someone else, and I don’t want to lead her on. Also, I’ve kissed her twice now and felt nothing, and I think it’s because I want Lia and only Lia.”
“That much is obvious,” JP says.
I press my fingers into my brow and say, “So what should I do?”
“We already told you what to do,” Huxley says. “Tell Lia how you feel. If you don’t, you’re going to regret it.”
“But she’s on this mission now to do things before she gets married. What am I supposed to do about that?”
“Well, if you think she might not feel the same way about you, then help her understand how you’re a better match for her than Brian,” JP says.
“Yeah, I agree,” Huxley chimes in.
“How do I go about doing that?”
“Be everything Brian is not,” JP says. “Without crossing the line, obviously, you can’t go fuck her and be like, see, I fuck you, and Brian doesn’t.”