But I am his mate. As I lay awake in my bed, embraced by both Farron and Kel who slept on either side of me, there was nothing I could do but feel my bond screaming in my chest. I stared up at the ceiling, tears pouring down my cheeks in the dark.
It was Kel who made my mind up for me. One minute I was lying on the bed, the next he was lifting me in his arms, sneaking us toward the door so as not to wake Farron. “Take the stairs all the way down as far as you can go. Then follow your nose—the damp air will lead you to solitary confinement,” he whispered as he set me down. Without my touch, he shifted into the icy white wolf.
Despite all our fights and secrets, Keldarion’s faith in me is the one thing that never wavers.
I followed Kel’s instructions. Now, two guards stand before a wooden door at the end of the cavernous hallway. I raise my chin in the air and refuse to let my voice shake. “I wish to look into the eyes of my mate before he faces his trial.”
They look at each other.
“The High Princess Isidora and Prince Thalionor held a mate bond that was revered throughout Spring,” I say. “I would expect servants of the realm to honor such a union.”
One grunts. “Five minutes. Not a second longer.”
Then he opens the door.
My heart pounds as I rush through the next hallway. Damp rock lies on either side, but at the very end, I see the shine of metal bars. Tears fill my eyes as my mate bond sings. He’s close.
I run to the end of the hall, gripping the cell bars. “Ezryn?” There’s nothing but darkness.
But there is sound: a deep, labored breathing.
I hold up my lantern and try to focus my enhanced sight into the shadows. Something shifts in the gloom.
A great animal raises its head, dark eyes shining yellow in the light of my lantern. White bones tangle in its fur, and crops of fungi grow around its ears and on its paws. In the corner of the cell, I spot his armor neatly piled, the underclothes folded.
“You shouldn’t be here,” the beast rumbles.
“I don’t care what I should or shouldn’t do.” My voice is a snarl. “You are my mate. I’m not leaving you.”
A whine sounds through the wolf’s chest, and he lowers his head to his paws. “It is a great dishonor to be mated to me. I am sorry you must suffer such shame.”
An angry cry rips out of me, and I shake the bars, as useless as that is. “I don’t care what they call you or what they’ve said you’ve done. I will stand by you—now and forever.”
The wolf stands and pads over to me. Then he collapses in front of the bars as if even that amount of movement was unbearable. There’s no fight in his voice as he says, “I nearly killed you, Rosalina. It is proof of what I’ve known since I murdered my own mother. There is a darkness in me that cannot be purged.”
“Then I will love you in the darkness,” I say.
The wolf closes his eyes and for a second, a sense of peace washes over his features. “Your indomitable spirit is the only hope I have left.”
“Ezryn,” I whisper, “we can get through this. Your realm needs you. There’s something terrible happening.”
“I’ve destroyed everything,” he whispers. “My parents trusted me to lead our people. I stole my mother from the Spring Realm. My father is dying. I’ve betrayed our creed, everything she stood for.” His face scrunches up. “My parents’ legacy lies with Kairyn. It is up to him now”
Profound sorrow grips me as I realize the surrender in Ezryn’s eyes. He’s been fighting for so long to prove to himself he’s good—something I’ve known from the beginning. But he’s never forgiven himself for his mother’s death, and I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to forgive himself for hurting me.
“Do you really trust Kairyn to be fair in his judgment?” Nerves roil within me, thinking of the anger in Kairyn’s voice the first day we saw him in the Hall of Vernalion.
“For the first time in our lives, I think we understand each other. He is a son of Spring—his honor will guide him. I will accept his ruling, whether it be punishment or …” Ezryn’s voice grows quiet. “Forgiveness.”
I see now. He feels like he owes Kairyn for taking their mother away. Accepting judgment from his brother may be the only way for Ezryn to heal from this.
“You can’t give up,” I say. “We’ll get through this trial. You’ll come home to Castletree with me and Kel, and Day, and Farron and—”