“I didn’t…” He slowly pulls his hand free. “I haven’t done it since the last time.”
“Good.”
He cocks his head, his face unreadable. “Can you tell me what’s wrong now?”
“You better not let anyone else touch you or I swear to fuck my murder threats will become reality.”
He nods, his expression serious. “We’re exclusive, remember?”
“You should be the one who remembers that.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
I turn around and hop on my bike.
“Wait. You’re leaving? Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“Nikolai. Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me.”
“You’ve done that countless times. Why can’t I?”
His expression drips with pain and he opens his mouth. I should be on my way, but I can’t. Not when he has something to say.
“I’m sorry.”
“What the fuck did I say about apologizing?”
“What do you want me to say or do? I’m trying to get close to you, but the harder I try, the further you slip away.”
“Let me ask you.” I turn sideways to face him. “If you had to choose between me and your brother. Who would you pick?”
“Neither. It’s not supposed to be a choice. Besides, if you accept him with Mia, he’ll have no choice but to accept you with me.”
“My sister is not up for fucking negotiation.”
His face falls and he swallows thickly. “Then I guess you made your choice.”
“And so did you.” I rev the engine.
I need to get out of here before I proceed with my very irrational idea about kidnapping him.
A voice inside me demands that, scratching and clawing at the fucking foundation of my being just to keep him close.
But if I do that, if I take him, I’ll hurt him. I just know I will fucking lose him.
So even though I continue staring at him in the rearview mirror, standing there with his hand in his hair, I don’t go back.
I need to eliminate the vermin that is Landon King.
Then I need a whole bottle of the fucking pills.
29
BRANDON
Nikolai
I’ll make the choice for you about Landon. Consider him dealt with.
That’s the text I get after another fucking week of radio silence from Nikolai.
After he fucked me against the tree and then left. Without letting me kiss him. Talk to him. Nothing.
He even gave me an ultimatum while being nonnegotiable about his own sister.
Lan and I might have our problems, but he’s my twin brother. The person I know the best. The person I look to whenever I’m drowning in fucking self-loathing. Watching him be his shameless, confident self gives me hope that I could be okay. If my identical twin is, then I could be as well.
No one but Lan and I understand the complexity of our relationship. Not even Mum and Dad are privy to that.
So how could Nikolai give me that ultimatum? How could he suggest that he’ll ‘deal’ with my brother and think I’ll let him?
How the fuck could he even make me choose?
At Mia’s birthday party, I noticed he wasn’t himself. He had this empty, bottomless expression, and sometimes, he’d look at me and I didn’t think he was seeing me.
I’ve wanted to be there for him, and I’ve fucking tried countless times, for that matter. He’s the one who’s slammed the door in my face.
I can’t help thinking this is revenge for all the times I kept him at arm’s length. The push-and-pull game has reversed and I’m now on the receiving end.
But I’ve never threatened his family. I might have hidden Lan and Mia’s fling, but I really thought it would blow over and it’d do more harm than good to let him know.
And yes, I might have been distant at times, but I was there when he wanted me to be.
He, on the other hand, has made it abundantly clear that he wants nothing to do with me anymore.
He doesn’t communicate. Doesn’t come to the penthouse. And he’s completely fine with the prospect of losing me by hurting my brother.
Forget about being heartbroken. I’m fucking livid right now.
I texted Mia about her brother’s plans and she gave me a code to access the Heathens’ mansion.
That’s where I am right now after driving like a madman.
However, when I arrive at the annexed house where Mia told me to meet her, I’m stopped by three bulky guards. Two of them are built like rocks and look at me as if I’m a cockroach.