He swings around fast and slams me to the door with his forearm to my throat. My dick twitches and holds an immediate standing ovation.
Christ. Why do I love it so much when he gets rough?
Nikolai’s grip loosens when his eyes meet mine. “Baby? What are you doing here…oh, fuck me. Don’t tell me you’re joining me in the shower?”
“Isn’t that obvious?” I coax his arm away and he releases me but only because I take the shower gel from him.
“Couldn’t stay away, huh?”
“No, I couldn’t. I need to touch you.”
His lips part and I catch a glimpse of his cock thickening. “Holy fuck. I expected your usual shut up.”
“Not today.” I squirt the body wash on my palm and lather it over his shoulder blades, enjoying the rippling of his muscles beneath my hands.
I quickly come to the realization that I really love washing him. Why the hell haven’t I done this before?
Oh, right. Because you’re broken and trying hard not to look like it.
“Jesus fucking Christ. Love it when you touch me.” He groans, his palms landing on my hips, stroking and feeling me up.
It’s the sweetest distraction.
“You do?”
“You must know how much of a glutton I am for your touch, baby. I’m so hard, I’m bursting to be inside you.”
I smile, but it falters when I reach his pectoral muscle and find a new tattoo in the spot he left blank on purpose.
My hands freeze as I study the artistic patterns of the lotus flower and make out the elegant font beneath it that reads Property of B. King. He had it inked on the spot that he said was for something special.
“Fuck…” I breathe, pressure forming behind my eyes as I look up at him. “When…did you get this?”
“After that night when I came to see you outside the mansion.”
“When you were on your high?”
“It wasn’t an impulse, if that’s what you’re asking. I’ve been wanting to do it for some time.”
My heart aches, and I want to say so many things, but all I manage is a choked, “Thanks.”
He narrows his eyes, and it looks so erotic with water cascading down his face. “You’re not panicking?”
“Why would I?”
“Because this means I love the fucking shit out of you, baby. I can’t live without you and you’re not allowed to leave me.”
My lips part and I watch him with a lump in my throat and my heart thundering so loudly, I can hear it over the buzzing in my ears.
“Hello?” He waves a hand in my face. “You going to say something? You’re starting to freak me out.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” I whisper the words that feel as if they’re being pulled from deep in my battered soul.
“Then don’t.”
He says it as if it’s simple. And it is simple for him. I wish it was the same for me.
I wish I could be the man he deserves.
I wish I could say the words back and not be flooded with the black ink and nausea.
Since I can’t, I get on my tiptoes and seal my lips to his. For the first time, my kiss is gentle, imploring, wanting to explore him, to express the burning feelings I can’t say out loud.
My fingers slide in his hair and I pull him closer until our chests press together, and we kiss under the water stream.
Nikolai’s arms wrap around my back to fuse us closer, but he doesn’t rush it, doesn’t turn it into a lustful frenzy like we’re used to.
Maybe it’s because he, too, knows this isn’t about lust anymore. It stopped being about lust a long time ago.
For me, it was never about lust. I was drawn to him, which is why I wanted him. It wasn’t the other way around.
We kiss for what feels like hours. We kiss until it’s impossible to breathe in anything but each other’s air.
My hand strokes his hair while the other slides over his shoulder, back, and waist, then I grab a handful of his arse and grind him against me.
He releases a low rumble that explodes from his lips all the way to his chest. I feel every vibration against my heated skin.
All the blood rushes to my already aching cock and it pulses with need.
Nikolai hisses when I plant one leg between his and wrap the other around his thigh. His cock brushes against mine, the pierced crown eliciting primal pleasure from deep inside me. The new angle lets him rub the length of his dick against mine, sliding, rutting until we’re panting in each other’s mouths.
The sucking sounds of our lips echo louder, needier, now in the midst of streaming water as I hump him with a desire so colossal, I feel like I can’t survive if I don’t touch him.