Note to self: From now on, walk around the penthouse in no clothes.
My grin is permanent as I flip through them, greedily storing every detail in my memory.
But then it changes.
My smile falls when I see something different.
He sketched me half naked and there’s what I assume is his silhouette beside me, but he’s faceless. On the next page, there’s a contour of his face, but chaotic black lines fill his features. On the following page, he drew black lines so deep, they punctured the paper.
Fuck.
Please don’t tell me this is how he sees himself.
My phone vibrates and I think it’s him, so I put the sketchpads exactly where I found them.
After I pull out my phone, I suddenly feel parched, so I pour a glass of water from the jug he keeps on the table.
The glass remains suspended in midair as I open the text I got from a number I don’t recognize.
Your goodbye gift.
I click on the video attached, and my entire body tenses.
The surveillance footage shows an extravagant living room with a plush carpet and a white sofa. A younger version of Bran, no older than fifteen or sixteen, sits in the corner, doodling in a notebook. My fingers clench the glass when I make out Grace sitting close beside him with a slim arm thrown over his shoulder. She’s wearing a red satin camisole and shorts that are definitely not appropriate.
“I just don’t get it.” He sighs. “What does Lan have that I don’t?”
“Nothing, hon,” she coos and strokes his hair.
“But he gets all the girls.”
“They don’t matter. You’re the one who’s meant for greatness.”
“Really?” He peeks at her, sheepish and hopeful, and my heart starts fucking racing beneath my rib cage.
“Really.” Her grating fake soft voice echoes in the air. “As for the girls, they’re nothing. I’m more mature and beautiful. And guess what? I find you much more charismatic than him.”
“You…do?”
She kisses him and he wraps a hand around her neck to kiss her back, but it’s awkward and unsure at best.
The piece of fucking shit doesn’t seem to notice that as she unbuttons his shirt. “I’ll make you feel like you’re better than him, and one day, I’ll make you his god.”
He nods once, but he doesn’t touch her as she kisses his neck, his chest, and then pulls down his pants. He squirms when she wraps her hand around his dick. He tries to get away when she slides her shorts down her legs and positions herself on top of him.
“I…don’t like this,” he whispers, and his voice is so low, I wouldn’t have heard it if I didn’t have the volume on high.
“Shh, hon. I promise you’ll enjoy it.” She jerks him a few more times. “See, you’re hard already.”
“Grace…” He gulps, red blotching his entire body. “I don’t think I like sex…please stop…”
“Nonsense, honey. Everyone likes sex.” She strokes his hair and then whispers, “You don’t want to be seen as a freak compared to your brother, do you, Bran? Your mum and dad would be so disappointed.”
He shakes his head once and she comes down on him in one go. He screams. And it’s not from pleasure.
He screams and it sounds like a “No…”
But I can’t listen to what he has to say anymore because she slaps a hand on his mouth as she moans. The muffled sounds that rip from him as he tries to wiggle away will haunt me for the rest of my fucking life.
“Mmmmno… Mmmm… Mmmm…”
A breaking sound echoes in the air and a burn spreads through my arm. I can tell I broke the glass and can feel water and blood sliding down my wrist and dripping onto the floor, but I can’t look away from his face.
The confusion.
The pain.
The anger.
Animalistic growls reverberate around me and I realize they’re mine. My body vibrates with rage so extreme, it fills my vision with black. Demons I didn’t know existed flood my bloodstream, and pressure forms behind my eyes.
As I watch and listen, I know, I just know that I’m never coming back from this.
36
BRANDON
Some days, I feel like I’m fine. I can breathe, somewhat, can move, run, talk, and smile.
I can exist and not suffer from the metaphorical bleeding in my fucked-up head.
On other days, I feel like I’m being punished for the good times. I’m being punished for feeling happy when I have no right to be.
Days where my wrist itches and my mind crumbles into a satire of burning emotions and throbbing pulses.