Or is that mine?
Not waiting to find out, I whip around and run.
I have no idea where I’m going or if I’m keeping with my usual route as I sprint between the trees.
I run fast.
As fast as I can.
Until my muscles protest and my lungs heave.
That black ink is rushing after me in long swirls and sharp strokes. Imaginary hands grab onto my shirt and pull.
My breathing is cracked and wrong.
No.
You’re in control. You’re always in control, remember?
Always.
And yet I sway as those hands clutch, twist, tug, and—
A hard object crashes against my back and I’m shoved over so suddenly, I fall headfirst against the ground.
I cough and heave against the dirt, my lungs burning and my vision blurring.
Hot breaths warm my ear before the very familiarly irritating voice whispers, “Don’t run away from me, lotus flower. This is the second time you’ve done it, the third if we count the initiation. I’m kinda hurt.”
I release a puff of air, relishing the fact that I did not get caught by my twisted imagination.
But that leads me to the realization that Nikolai is on top of me.
Again.
This time, his knee is wedged on my lower back, his hand squeezing my nape as he talks in my ear.
Fucking again.
“Eh…？” He smiles, and I know this because his lips curve against the damn shell of my ear. “This position is a little familiar. Not that I’m complaining.”
“Nikolai,” I growl, my jittering nerves getting the better of me. “Get the hell off me.”
“Mmm. More. Give me fucking more,” he growls into my ear.
“Back off.”
“That’s it. Fight me. I love this energy, lotus flower.”
“You won’t love it when…” I trail off before I say I bite your head off.
Good grief. This is not me.
“What? I won’t love it when you what?” He speaks so close, I can feel his words inside my darn ear instead of hearing them. “You need to stop cutting yourself off mid-sentence. The suspense is killing me. You’re playing a bit hard to get, Prince Charming, but I’m all over that shit. Fight me. Fight me. Fucking fight me!”
I elbow him. “You’re disgusting. Piss off.”
Surprisingly, he releases me, choosing to let himself fall onto his arse beside me. The disappearance of his crushing weight gives me back my normal thought process. Barely.
That’s when I realize I’ve wandered into the nearby park that I usually pass by on my runs.
Early morning light slips from between the huge centuries-old trees and hits Nikolai’s face.
Something curious happens then.
Under the soft yellow light kissing his cheek and right eye, the blue lightens to a chilling turquoise, revealing tiny flecks of gray in the irises.
Blue on gray.
Fascinating.
“Whatever crawled up your ass better crawl right the fuck out,” he barks, all humor gone. “Call me disgusting again and I’ll pummel you against the nearest tree, then hang you by the balls so that everyone sees who’s the disgusting one. Got it?”
I shake myself out of the momentary daze, realizing I actually remained lying on my stomach despite the absence of his weight.
Jumping up, I have to regulate my breathing as I glare down at him. “Don’t touch me again and I won’t call you that. In fact, I won’t call you anything, because I’d rather not speak to you ever again.”
“Why?” His grin returns as quickly as it disappeared as he stands up unhurriedly like a big cat crawling out from his cave after a nap. “Afraid I’ll grow on you?”
I flash him my most fake smile. “The chances of that happening are below zero. Better luck next life, kid.”
“Blah blah and fucking blah. Why wait when I have this life?” He frowns. “Also, why are you smiling like a creep?”
My smile drops and I snatch the AirPods from his grip. “Stop following me. I mean it. I have no interest in whatever you’re hinting at.”
He smiles wide like an unhinged maniac on drugs. Maybe he really is high. “And how do you know what I’m hinting at?”
“You haven’t exactly been subtle. The answer is no.”
“I can work with a no.”
“You’re wasting your time. I’m straight.”
“That’s the third time you’ve told me that. Someone is trying to prove a point.” He slaps my shoulder. “But, hey, whatever lets you sleep at night, lotus flower.”