And I’m hit by the survival instinct to run away.
To open the door and sprint into the night, then do what I excel at.
Pretend. Avoid. Deny.
However, my feet remain rooted in place as I stare back into his eyes. But because I’m so far out of control, my attention falls to his bruised lips and mine tremble in remembrance of the way he kissed me.
And the way I kissed him.
The way I devoured him as if I were attempting to fuse my soul with his or something similarly ridiculous.
“I know I’m hot, but you have to stop watching from afar and get your sexy ass over here, baby.” He sits on the edge of the bed and grins in that slightly evil way. “Strip for me. Let me see you.”
My fingers wrap around the edge of my T-shirt’s collar of their own accord and I pull it over my head, then toss it on a chair. My shoes and trousers follow before I push the briefs all the way down.
I have a nice body as a result of all the running and working out, but I don’t go out of my way to showcase it. Definitely not to the extent of exhibitionism that Lan loves so much.
In fact, I prefer being clothed at all times. But right now, I feel a sense of triumph when Nikolai studies every inch of my skin, his greedy eyes taking me in from head to toe as if he hasn’t seen a naked man before.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He marvels and opens a hand in my direction.
I walk toward him, but I don’t take it. That just feels weird. This entire thing does. From the moment I realized I was possessive of him, not Clara, all the way to when I came down his throat.
And yet, for some reason, I don’t want to put an end to it.
Not now.
I’ll keep this up for a while longer.
He said I can blame it on him afterward. So it’s not on me.
This is a dream and I’ll enjoy it until I’m forced awake.
I cross my arms. “I’m not a girl. Don’t call me beautiful.”
“Men can be beautiful. I am, for one.” He winks and grabs my wrist, forcing me to uncross my arms.
“Your arrogance knows no bounds.”
“You love my arrogance.”
“Keep dreaming.”
“You love the way I look at you,” he continues, biting the corner of his lip as he slides his hungry gaze over me. “You love how I touch you.” He flicks a finger over my nipple, drawing a shudder from me. “You definitely love playing hard to get.”
I swat his hand away. “Nikolai!”
“Call me Niko like you did earlier.”
“I did no such thing.”
“You totally did while you shot your cum down my throat. You said Niko in this sexy, needy voice.”
“No idea what you’re talking about.”
He narrows his eyes, but before I can burst into flames, he tugs on my wrist. “Come on. I need your lips around my cock.”
I steal a quick glance at his dick that’s so hard, purple veins bulge on the sides, and a transparent liquid shines at the tip.
“What…” I clear my throat. “What should I do?”
“What I did to you.”
“I will not get on my knees.”
“I went on my knees for you just fine.”
My hand rubs the back of my head and I release a sigh. “I don’t know how to do this, okay? I’ve never…”
“Sucked off another guy?”
I nod slowly. The thought of making a fool out of myself gives me worse nausea than the fact that I actually want to do this.
A part of me is buzzing with the possibility of giving him pleasure as intense as he gave me.
Nikolai’s eyes darken, the blue appearing unhinged, possessive, even, as he wrenches me forward and I fall on top of him, my chest pressing to his.
His heartbeat thunders against mine, and I hiss when my cock brushes against his thigh.
Good grief. I just came, so why the hell am I getting hard again?
I never get hard after a release. Never.
His coarse fingers stroke my jaw, and I’m in awe at how a shiver goes through me at that. Or maybe it’s because of the hooded look in his gaze.
“Just do what you think you’d like when getting a blowjob.”
That’s the fucking problem. I don’t like those.
Well, until now.
“If at a loss, mimic what I did.” He winks. “Now, kneel on me.”
Before I can ask what he means, Nikolai lies on his back and directs me so that I’m turned around and on all fours on top of him. His hard cock is within reach and mine is near his face.
I have never been in such an exposed position before. Have never been comfortable with sixty-nine and, therefore, haven’t done it. I’ve always liked to be in control of every sexual act, even if I was bored out of my mind during it.