Tick.
You look pathetic. Just leave already.
A migraine starts to form at the back of my skull as the demons run rampant, spouting their hatred and telling me what they think of me without mincing their words.
I know I should leave. I do. But for some reason, I’m rooted in place.
The reality of the situation bursts through me without warning.
I don’t want to leave.
The lift dings and a rush of adrenaline spreads through my chest.
Simmer down. Desperate much?
Not sure the reprimand works, because when I stand, my feet barely keep me upright. My skin prickles when I feel his overwhelming presence, but then I see him, and my lips part.
Splashes of blood cover some of the tattoos on his chest and decorate his handsome features. His hair is tied in a messy bun, strands escaping and framing his face with a sheen of savagery.
I haven’t seen him this unhinged since the initiation. But even back then, he was more pushy and playful than…desolate.
His eyes are uncharacteristically empty, a blue so dark, I can’t see the Nikolai I’ve come to know over the past couple of weeks in them.
“Hey, sorry I let myself in—” The words are barely out when he smashes his body against mine.
The breath is knocked out of my lungs as we both go crashing down on the sofa. I lift my hand to try and get some balance, but he grabs my wrists and slams them above my head and shoves his knee between my legs, forcing them apart.
“Nikolai, what are you—”
“Shut. Your. Mouth.” He bites my lower lip with every word, eliciting a shudder from me.
My head spins and a shiver spreads across my skin and ends in my dick.
Am I supposed to feel this turned on by a kiss? It’s not even a full kiss.
Fuck.
I exist in his vicinity, then I’m on edge.
He touches me and I catch fire.
This is why I did everything in my power to put some distance between us. Get back control over my shameless reaction to him.
Nikolai doesn’t understand the concept of distance, though.
His teeth pull rougher than usual and tingles explode on the skin trapped between them.
But I like this type of pain. This pain isn’t mental or emotional. This pain means I’m right here, not swallowed up by black ink or pulled under by disgusting nausea.
“Who the fuck is she?” he growls against my mouth, his coarse words vibrating on my skin.
I try to clear my head, which is impossible under the circumstances. “Who’s who?”
“The girl who was throwing herself in your arms at my fucking fight.”
“A-Ava?”
“Ava. Her name would look fucking pretty on a gravestone.”
“What the…” I sober up a little and try to release myself from his grip. His fingers dig into my skin, prohibiting me from moving.
Christ. I’ve always loved how big he is, but it’s a nuisance when I try to get him off me.
“Didn’t take you long to find a replacement for Clara.” He snarls her name as if it’s a curse word and bites my jaw, my throat, and my Adam's apple. “But I’m going to make them all disappear. Mark my fucking words.”
I groan at every nip, my cock thickening until it’s straining painfully against my trousers. Why do I love it so much when he’s rough?
“A-Ava…is my childhood friend. You…met her during that game at the pub.”
He lifts his head abruptly, eyes flicking and brow furrowing. I still don’t like the look on his face, but it eases a bit, harsh but recognizable. “So that’s where I’ve seen her. She’s not Clara’s replacement?”
“What? Of course not. My cousin would kill me.”
“I will fucking kill him or anyone who dares to touch what’s fucking mine.”
I gulp past the lump in my throat as I search his wild features, and my lips part when I realize he means every word.
It should repulse me, send me running again, but my cock has turned as hard as stone and I’m delirious.
My lungs fill with his scent—mint, blood, and all male. It coils and rattles inside me with overwhelming strength.
No one has ever said that to me. No one has ever been so obsessed with me that they act like they’d move heaven and earth to protect me.
I shouldn’t even want protection or this toxic connection.
But the reality I’ve been trying to ignore crashes into me.
I want him.
I fucking crave him. So much it hurts.
So I lift my head and capture his lips in a punishing kiss. I thrust my tongue inside his mouth and taste the metallic blood. I taste the desperation. The aching lust.