His heart sank like a stone.
“Me?”
She backed up a step. “The way you make me feel is …” She hugged the bundle of clothes tighter. “I’m afraid it’s something I could get used to. Something I could need.” She shook her head. “I’m afraid you’ll be the end of me, Gideon.” And then, much more quietly: “Maybe you already are.”
She seemed to truly believe this—that he had some strange power to crush her.
Did she think he was using her?
Aren’t I using her? he thought, remembering his conversation with Harrow.
Hadn’t he brought her into his bed to prove she wasn’t a witch?
No, he thought. That was merely his justification for taking what he wanted and not caring if it hurt his brother.
The sudden thought of it—of what he’d done with the girl Alex loved—felt like a punch.
Gideon clenched and unclenched his fists. He stood at a crossroads here. Two clear paths lay before him.
The first road was the one he’d meant to take all along: pretending to court Rune in order to catch the Crimson Moth. That road was always going to end with Gideon letting her go—to the purge, if she was a witch; to Alex, if she wasn’t. It was the higher road. The road that allowed Gideon to keep his conscience intact. To stay on it, all Gideon had to do was end this charade.
But now there was another road open to him. This one had Rune standing on it, telling him that she was falling in love with him. That this wasn’t pretend for her.
The right thing to do, the noble thing, was to choose the first road. To end this tonight. All Gideon had to do was lie and say he didn’t feel the same way.
But Gideon wasn’t noble. And he didn’t do the right thing.
Because he wanted this.
“I’m scared, too.”
She glanced sharply up at him.
Gideon had kept to himself these past few years for good reason. He’d made himself vulnerable with Cressida, and she’d taken that vulnerability and used it as a weapon against him. He needed to be careful. He couldn’t let just anyone in.
“What if I asked you to trust me?”
Rune looked like she might burst into tears at the question. “You want me to trust you?”
“We could trust each other,” he said, stepping toward her.
From the look on her face, she thought this a difficult, if not impossible, task.
“Do you trust this?” He leaned in to kiss her temple. Her pulse responded, beating out a frenzied rhythm. “Or this?” Pushing back her hair, he brushed his lips against the sensitive skin behind her ear, making her quiver. “What about this?” He pressed his hand between her hip bones, moving slowly downward.
Her breathing changed, becoming shallow and rapid. She softened beneath him, melting fast. Like she was ice and he was fire.
Why did it feel this good to please her?
“I want all of you, Rune.” Gideon kissed her brow. “Not just tonight, but every moment from now on.”
“I want that, too,” she breathed, tilting her head back. “But how would it work? Help me imagine it.”
Gideon smiled as he thought about it.
“Every day, after my shift ends, I’ll come home to you, and we’ll cook dinner together.”
“I have servants for that.”
He nipped the tip of her nose. “You’re ruining this fantasy already.”
“Sorry,” she whispered. “Go on.”
He continued, trailing kisses across her bare shoulder. “Every night after dinner, we’ll take a long walk through Wintersea, and I’ll pick you a bouquet of wildflowers, and we’ll talk … or be silent. I don’t really care, as long as you’re next to me.”
He could feel her softening.
“Would you attend some of my parties?”
His hands palmed up her bare back. “All of them.”
She pulled away a little, glancing at him. “But you hate parties. I don’t think you’re fond of my friends, either.”
“I can learn to like them.” His arms locked around her waist and dragged her back to him. “I can be civil.”
She raised an eyebrow, as if to say, Can you?
For you, yes.
She bit down on her lip again, thinking. “And you’ll dance with me?”
“That’s a given.”
“What if we fight all the time?”
“I’d rather fight with you than do most other things.”
Her forehead pinched in surprise. “You would?”
“Yes.” He dragged the bridge of his nose across her cheekbone, breathing in her soapy scent. “And after we’re done fighting, I’ll take you to bed, and we’ll reconcile. In fact, I think we should fight every day just so we can make up every night.”