“We heard about the practice,” Steph-not-Sara says.
“The what?”
They wince in unison, and I’m starting to think they practice their creepy twin act in the mirror.
“You know? How you showed up at soccer practice like that?” Chloe touches my arm in a way that I used to think meant a girl was flirting, but now I’m not so sure.
“Yeah, I—” I start, but I don’t want to explain to them why I was there. They haven’t earned that from me. “You know,” I say, “you’re probably right about me needing a change of scenery.”
They nod enthusiastically.
“So, uh, I think I’ll go say hi to some other people.” I’m surprised how their faces fall, but I don’t care. “Nice catching up,” I say as I turn away.
There’s a lot of shouting going on in the next room, which should at least be interesting.
It turns out that’s where most of the team is, Ricky and Jamal and the rest. A couple of new upperclassmen who joined the team from JV are there. Everyone is focused on Bunny and the video game he’s playing.
I have no idea what Bunny’s actual name is, something like Robert or John probably, but his last name is Bunnell, and he has gone by Bunny for as long as I’ve known him. I don’t know whether I admire him for it or not.
I stand at the edge of the crowd and wish I had a drink in my hand or at least a soda to sip.
“Come on, come on,” Seth is saying over and over as Bunny tries to hit the boss on its vulnerable spot. The character does not hit the monster and is immolated.
“Noooooo!” Seth says over everyone else’s groans.
“Is this personal for you, Seth?” I laugh.
Everyone turns to me. The millisecond of silence cuts like glass.
“Oh, hey, Murphy,” Ricky says, sounding exactly like at practice. “Long time no see.”
Someone in the group finds that funny. Someone else shushes them.
“Kyle told me about the party,” I say. Kyle is a graduate, like me. “Have you seen him?”
“Uh, maybe?” Ricky’s holding hands with Jasmine, who never would have looked at him if Finn hadn’t died. Jasmine is staring at me the same way as Chloe and her friend. The guys from the team all seem nervous, glancing away and talking quietly to one another. The video game is forgotten, and the group that had been sitting on the floor is standing and stretching. A few leave the room.
“Hey, Murphy, didn’t think you’d come,” Kyle booms behind me. He’s holding two cups of beer. He hands one to one of the girls sitting on the couch.
“I wasn’t sure either. Thanks for inviting me.” I’m trying to figure out why Ricky claimed to not know that Kyle was here.
“You not playing anymore?” Kyle asks Jamal.
Jamal shrugs and restarts the level, but most of the room has cleared. There’s Ricky, Jasmine, Kyle, and the girl he got the beer for, plus Jamal and Seth, all on the couch. There isn’t room for me, so I stand.
I’m nearly certain that people liked me for me. Of course, everyone liked Finn more, but that’s expected of the nicest guy ever. Ricky, Jamal, Seth, we were always cool. Not close, but we got along fine.
So I’m not sure what this is.
Jasmine leans forward. “So,” she says, “how are you, Jack?” in a tone that is eerily familiar.
“I’m okay!” I respond with perhaps too much enthusiasm, “I’m looking forward to college, change of scenery and all that.”
“That will be so good for you,” she says, nodding. We’ve only spoken a couple of times before, but she seems to have solid opinions on what I need. “A fresh start.”
I’m about to say, “It’s not like I killed someone,” this time on purpose, when I realize they’re afraid they’ll die too if they hang out with me. Death by association.
Ricky is studying the fingernails on his free hand as if he were the sort of dude to worry about a hangnail. Jamal is playing the game again, this time on autopilot, barely reacting to anything that happens. Even Seth is quiet.
“I guess,” I say, and Jasmine nods again.
“You are so brave,” she says.
Kyle, who’s sitting on the other side of her, glances over at her and then at me.
“Hey, why isn’t anyone calling me brave? I’m moving to California. Murphy is going to southern Missouri,” he says.
The girl on the other side of Kyle, the girl he’d gotten the beer for, laughs and starts to answer, but Jasmine interrupts, leaning across Kyle.