I am not okay. Letting myself think about Savvy again has brought her back to life, and I don’t think she’s going to leave until I figure out what happened to her. I will be haunted by my friend and her murderous musings for the rest of my life unless I get my shit together.
Savvy lets out a long, disappointed sigh. “Are we going to kill a dude or what?”
“Why don’t you sit down?” Emmett gestures to the table.
“Yes, please sit!” Nina says. “Dinner is almost ready.”
I force a smile as I slide into a chair, and brace myself as the memory of that day with Savvy forms again, as clear as ever.
LUCY
FIVE YEARS AGO
“Yeah, sure, let’s kill my husband,” I said with a laugh. “How should we do it? Knife him while he’s sleeping? Push him into traffic? Wait, I know. Poison in the liquor bottle. Matt sucks down those drinks so fast he’ll be dead before he realizes the taste is off.”
I laughed again, but Savvy didn’t. She cocked an eyebrow. My smile slowly faded.
“Savvy.” I shifted on the barstool as I realized that I was the only person kidding around. “I can’t kill him. I can’t kill anyone.”
“Why not? He deserves it.”
I opened my mouth to argue.
“Don’t you dare say he doesn’t.” She wrapped a warm hand around my arm. “I’ve seen bruises on you so many times, and I know you’re not even telling me the worst of it.”
I wasn’t. The worst of it was too much to recount. It wasn’t even that it was humiliating, I just couldn’t bring myself to put together words to explain how he’d choked me until I blacked out. Or when “things had gotten out of control” （as he always liked to put it） and he’d dragged me by my hair from the kitchen to the living room and then slammed my head repeatedly into the hardwood floors until I saw stars.
“He deserves it,” I confirmed quietly. “But even if I wanted to kill him—”
“We,” Savvy interrupted. “Even if we wanted to kill him. I wouldn’t make you do it alone.”
I huffed out a laugh. “Damn, Savvy, I knew you were ride or die, but that’s next-level.”
She tossed her hair over her shoulder with a grin. “I’m the best friend in the world, you can say it. And as the best friend in the world, I would be delighted to help you off your dickhead husband.”
I stared at her, still convinced she must have been kidding.
She cocked an eyebrow. “What do you say? Are we going to kill a dude or what?”
Listen for the Lie Podcast with Ben Owens EPISODE FIVE—“A MYSTERY WOMAN”
Today, for the first time, you’re going to hear from Lucy’s ex-husband, Matt Gardner. Matt has declined to speak with the press since Savannah’s death, and only agreed to talk to me now because Lucy asked him to.
He comes to my hotel room in Plumpton first thing in the morning. He looks older than the photos I’ve seen of him, and tired. I ask him if he agreed to this interview because of Lucy.
Matt:??????????????Yeah, she mentioned that I should talk to you.
Ben:???????????????Why?
Matt:??????????????I don’t know, I guess she likes you. Or … she wants to know who killed Savvy.
Ben:???????????????Let’s talk about your relationship with Lucy. You two stayed in touch after divorcing?
Matt:??????????????No. I hadn’t spoken to her at all since she left town five years ago. But she came by the house a few days ago, and then we also had lunch recently.
Ben:???????????????She reached out to you, then?
Matt:??????????????Yeah. She just showed up one day.
Ben:???????????????How would you describe your relationship when you two were married?
Matt:??????????????Mmmhh … passionate. We were really in love, but we also fought a lot. We probably got married too young. But I was crazy about her. From the moment I met her, I was smitten.
Ben:???????????????What did you fight about?
Matt:??????????????Normal marriage stuff. Money, in-laws, work. We probably should have gone to therapy. I realize now that we just weren’t very good at communicating with each other. I take some responsibility for that. I wish we’d worked on it instead of giving up.
Ben:???????????????You wish you’d stayed married?
Matt:??????????????I guess I don’t mean that exactly … it’s hard to know what would have happened. But with the benefit of hindsight, I can see a world where we took a step back and tried to see the good in each other.
Ben:???????????????After Lucy was released from the hospital, she went to her parents’ almost right away instead of home. Several people I’ve talked to said that you asked her to leave. Is that true?