I make a tsk sound. “Your card expired at midnight.”
Annie is undeterred. “Do you really not have friends, Will?”
I sigh and turn my eyes back up to the ceiling. She’s got me pinned here. I’m not getting away without telling her the whole truth about me. “My job keeps me busy. There’s not a lot of time for friends.”
“Which is intentional,” she says putting a spotlight on my face. I knew I told this woman too much about me last night. Now she knows all of my weak points.
I cover her hand resting on my chest with my own. “Yeah. It is.” I pause and she just waits. “After basically raising myself as well as my brother, when I left home and found some freedom, I decided I was done living for other people. I was going to be selfish for a while and enjoy the hell out of it. No relationships. No one to put huge expectations on me, and I can never be let down by someone if I never let them in in the first place. This job has given me the perfect excuse to stay busy and happy.”
Annie scrunches her nose. “And now here you are. In my bed.”
She adds that last sentence because she knows that this is a severe deviation from my plan. Intimacy of this kind is never something I’ve wanted…until now.
Annie rolls away from me back to her pillow, and we both stare at the ceiling. “Annie, the truth is, I really want to close myself off from you. But I also find myself wanting to tell you everything. What spell have you cast over me?”
She laughs and slides those beautiful blue eyes to me, peeking at me from the corners. “Do you have feelings for me, Will?”
I bark a laugh. “Annie. You can’t just ask a person that. That’s against the rules.”
“Why?”
“Because…we’re supposed to keep everything hidden and angsty. Keep each other guessing and miserable. That’s just the way it works.”
Her lips curve, and she slides her hand over the covers to gently link our fingers together. “Do you like me, Will?”
I hold her gaze and squeeze her fingers as her words tug the truth from me like they always do. “Yeah, I do, Annie. Do you like me?”
“Yeah. Against my better judgment.”
I laugh fully at this and then scrape my free hand over my face. “It’s why you need to run far away from me. Kick me out. Board up your windows. Lock your doors. I’ve got so much baggage, Annie…I’m not sure I’d be any good for you. Or that I’ll ever be the marriage type.”
She adjusts, rolling onto her side but not letting go of my hand. “I can handle myself, thank you.” She grins slightly and my entire chest aches. “I’m not living in a fantasy world over here. You and I are two people who caught feelings but were never supposed to. Our lives are on different tracks that somehow managed to accidentally intersect along the way.”
“So what do we do now?”
“We pine,” she says dramatically but with a hint of amusement touching the corner of her mouth. “We stay friends.”
“Friends.”
“That’s the only option for people who want different things, isn’t it? So we’ll be friends, and pine for a while, and then one day I’ll be old and married with a slew of grandchildren here in Kentucky and you’ll be a pirate on a ship somewhere in the Bahamas with a tiny man bun.”
“Oh no,” I say gravely. “You love pirates. Are you going to be longing for me while you’re lying next to your very upstanding old husband?”
She nods. “Sadly, yes. But not as much as you’ll be longing for the woman you left behind.”
How is honesty so easy between us? Too easy.
“Either way,” Annie says, sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed, “you’re off the matrimonial hook, Wolf Boy. And I have to go pee—don’t listen,” Annie says before disappearing into her bathroom and closing the door like we’d just discussed what’s for dinner rather than admitted feelings.
So…good. Yeah. I’m off the hook. I should feel a great relief. Any second now the Great Relief will be kicking in. It’s not. I don’t feel relief, I feel frustrated.
I’m thinking with my emotions too much, that’s the problem. I need to be logical. And logically, I have a career that will take me away from Rome no matter what. Logically, I’ve been happy living this way since I was eighteen. These feelings are just passing unexpected speed bumps on my open road of freedom. So what I need to do is ignore them and continue on with my plan. Have fun with Annie and then say goodbye with a clean break and no hard feelings when I leave. Even she thinks this is the best decision.