I let out a rush of breath. “I know what it’s like when people turn on you.”
Lawson cursed.
“I have to battle with that knowledge. But it helps that my family has stepped up for her in every way. Helps me trust that she’ll be safe.”
The muscle beneath Lawson’s eye fluttered. “The way you should’ve been safe.”
“I’m not going to say I regret it,” I told him. “Because it brought me to where I am. Here. Now. And even with the shitstorm swirling around us, this is the happiest I’ve ever been.”
I let my older brother really see that. I didn’t hide beneath a mask of calm nothingness. I let him see the fear but also the sheer joy.
The problem was, being this happy meant I had more to lose.
46
ASPEN
“She’s out,” Roan said softly as he slid into bed next to me, Chauncey snoring in his dog bed on the floor.
The only light in the room was from my bedside lamp. I turned onto my side so I could see Roan fully—his sharply angled jaw, those hypnotizing blue eyes. I surveyed every millimeter of him. “How are you doing?”
His family had stayed until Cady’s bedtime. I didn’t blame them. I would’ve wanted to stick close after Roan’s admission, too. We’d ordered pizza and made ice cream sundaes. It had all helped, but I knew Roan had to be exhausted.
He traced a finger over my deepening bruise. “I should be asking you that.”
“You’re the one who let loose a decade-old secret. I need to know how you really are. Not the pretty answer just to make me feel better.”
Roan’s lips twitched. “Like I’ve been run over by a truck.”
I brushed the hair away from his eyes. “Are you glad you did it?”
He stared down at me. “Yes. I hate that it’s causing them pain. But for the first time, I feel like there isn’t a wall between us.”
My fingers trailed down to his neck. “They’ll get to really see you now. That will be a gift. But it’s going to take you all some time to process.”
“I know. And I’ll give them that time.”
My mouth curved. “It might require some conversation, and I know those aren’t always your favorite.”
He grimaced, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“It’ll be a stretching exercise for all of you.”
Roan pulled me into his arms, burrowing his face into the crook of my neck. “I wanted to come home to you and Cady. Instead, everyone under the bloody sun was here.”
“Made me feel loved,” I admitted.
“Then I guess I’m glad,” Roan grumbled.
I couldn’t help it, I laughed.
“Are you laughing at me?” he asked, affronted.
“Can’t help it. You’re funny.”
“I’ll show you funny.” Roan dove in to tickle my sides.
I bit his shoulder to keep from waking Cady.
“Ow! That hurt,” he clipped.
I bit him again. “That’s what you get.”
Roan’s eyes heated. “If you want to talk punishments—”
“Mama!” Cady yelled. “Nightmare!”
We were both on our feet in a flash, all heat vanishing. Roan was out the door and down the hall before me. The second he opened her door, Cady flew at him.
Roan cradled her in his arms, rocking her back and forth. “It’s okay, Tiny Dancer. I’ve got you.”
“There was a monster under my bed, and he was trying to get me,” Cady sobbed.
“No monsters are gonna get you when I’m around,” Roan said, his voice gruff.
My heart squeezed painfully. This man was everything I’d ever wanted for my girl and so much more.
“Look, I’m doing a check, Katydid.” I bent and peeked under the bed. “Nothing here but a few stuffed animals.”
“Y-you’re sure?” she asked.
“Totally positive.”
Cady burrowed deeper into Roan’s hold. “Will you stay with me for a while?”
“Always, Tiny Dancer. As long as you want.”
Elsie winced as she strode toward the register. “Should you be working today? You look a little rough.”
I gave her a wan smile. “Gee, thanks.”
“Sorry. I just meant your shiner. And you seem a little tired.”
I sighed. I felt like I’d been run over by the same truck Roan had. “Cady had a couple of nightmares last night, and it took us a while to get her down.”
“I’m sorry,” Elsie said. “Is she okay?”