It felt safe. A cocoon of blissful snowflakes.
Chauncey leaned into my side, and I dropped my hand to scratch behind his ears. “I know. I promise to let you have a good romp later.”
I’d taken him out on a leash first thing this morning, but he was itching for a run.
A sound had me instantly on alert, my hand going to the Taser I kept balanced on the window, just out of Cady’s reach. My grip loosened as I took in the plow making its way up the two-lane road. The air left my lungs in a whoosh.
How long would it take for me to breathe easy again? For John and all the people taken in by his pretty fa?ade to no longer take up space in my brain?
I had moments when I thought I’d found that. I had Cady, a cozy home, and a job I loved, managing The Brew. The position had brought me friends for the first time in years. When Maddie worked there, she’d brought Wren and Lawson’s sister, Grae, into my life. It didn’t matter to them that I had walls up or places I wouldn’t go in a conversation. They welcomed me anyway.
Guilt gnawed at me for how much I’d hidden. Especially when they had been so open and honest about all the trials they’d endured. But I couldn’t get myself to release my story. Because burying it deep had kept me and Cady safe.
“Mama?” Cady’s sleepy voice drifted down the hall.
I turned, letting the gauzy curtains fall back into place. “Morning, Katydid. How’d you sleep?”
She smacked her lips as if still struggling to get her mouth to work. “Good. Are we late?”
It was past eight-thirty, so the sun streamed in through the windows. I grinned. “Snow day for you and me.”
Cady’s whole face lit up, her green eyes dancing the way my sister Autumn’s had when we were growing up. The ache that took root in my chest was a war of pleasure and pain. I loved that I could see glimpses of Autumn in Cady, but God…I missed my sister like a limb.
“Snow day!” Cady started dancing around the living room, shaking her little booty in an exaggerated motion I did not want to know where she’d learned.
Chauncey barked and took up a three-legged dance around her.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
Cady giggled as the dog jumped up and licked her cheek. “We’re gonna have the best day, Chauncey! I can make snowballs for you to fetch, and we can make snow angels and a snow fort.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a busy day planned,” I said, smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. “Think you’ve got time for hot cocoa with me first?”
“Duh!” Cady hurled herself in my direction.
I had just enough time to set down my coffee before she collided with me. Cady’s arms and legs wrapped around me as I lifted her. She buried her face in my hair. “You’re the bestest.”
Everything in me twisted. “I learned it from you.”
“Nuh-uh. You’re way older than me.”
I chuckled. “Are you calling me a grandma?”
Cady pulled back, shaking her head. “You’re not a grandma. Charlie and I gots to grow up first and get married. Then you can be a grandma.”
That beautiful pain was back again. All of Cady’s amazing dreams. Dancing ballet on the world’s stages. Marrying her best friend. Becoming a mother herself.
My sister wouldn’t get to see any of it. Because a monster had ripped her away from us. And we were still hiding from his reach.
The sound of an engine had me looking up from the endless pile of snow. I’d been working all day as Cady played, with only a few breaks to warm her fingers and toes. I was finally almost done clearing the driveway, but not before cursing myself for not finding a way to buy a snowblower.
The SUV crept slowly up the drive, and each rotation of the wheels had my stomach twisting tighter. “It’s just Dr. Miller. You’re safe. Cady’s safe.” I murmured the words over and over under my breath.
“Is that the vet?” Cady called from her snow mountain.
“I think so,” I answered.
“He’s gonna help Dory?”
“He is.”
“Is Mr. Grizz with him?” Cady asked hopefully.
I bit back a chuckle. I had a feeling my grumpy savior from the night before didn’t want anything to do with us and our chaos. “I don’t think so, Katydid.”
Her shoulders slumped as she crossed to me. “I want him to come back. I think he needs some friends.”
My ribs squeezed, and I wrapped an arm around her. “You’ve got the best heart, you know that?”
Cady smiled up at me. “Kind hearts are the best hearts, right?”