“You look better.”
Atrius’s way of asking, How are you feeling?
“I feel better.”
His hand didn’t move. I was so conscious of that touch that it was almost distracting—and yet, strangely comforting. I hadn’t been prepared for how intense skin-to-skin contact with Atrius was. Not the first time I touched him, not last night, and not now.
A flare of desire in his presence as his eyes ran over me told me he was thinking the same thing. And Weaver, it was tempting—the idea of crawling back into bed with him and disappearing into carnal bliss.
But Atrius was not one to find it easy to distract himself, sex or no. And sadly, as much as I sometimes wished otherwise, neither was I.
“Sun is falling,” I said.
We both knew what that meant. Night began, and the work began.
Solemnness rolled over Atrius’s face. “Yes. I need to find out how many we lost in the day.”
A pang of his hurt mingled with my own. It didn’t matter that they were vampires. The scenes I witnessed these last few days were far too familiar—too reminiscent of every death I’d seen at the hands of the Pythora King. It didn’t matter what their teeth or blood looked like. That suffering was the same.
In the wake of the worst events we’d seen, the Sightmother would always remind us that death is nothing to be mourned, simply the will of the Weaver. The others seemed to find comfort in this. But I never could.
For most of my life that had been something shameful.
Not today. Today, I was glad to feel it—the anger at all those countless deaths.
“The Pythora King will pay for it,” I said quietly. “Soon enough. You’ll avenge all those lives.”
Atrius’s gaze and his attention slipped far away, a shiver of mournfulness tinging the air between us.
I felt his unspoken question.
My brow furrowed. “What?”
He let out a light scoff, a wry smile twisting one side of his mouth. “You see too much, seer.”
“I see just enough, conqueror.”
The smile lingered, then faded. Finally, he said, “I don’t know if this is the right thing.”
The words came slow, like such a blatant admission of uncertainty stuck in his throat.
I’d thought Atrius couldn’t shock me anymore. But this—this shocked me. “Why?”
“These men and women have been with me for decades. I took them away from their homes. They followed me into nightmares. And never, not once, did they question me.” His eyes lowered to the bedroll, his jaw tight. “And where have I led them, to thank them for their loyalty?”
“You led them here.”
“A human kingdom that isn’t their home. Because they can’t go back to their homes, due to my actions.”
My hand fell over his before I could stop myself, clutching tight. “You led them to a second chance.”
“This place doesn’t deserve their bones. This place doesn’t deserve the bones of their children.”
“It doesn’t deserve our bones, either. And gods, how many we’ve given it.” My lip curled into a sneer, my fingers trembling around Atrius’s hand. “You say you don’t belong here. But neither do the Pythora King or his warlords. And they’ve stripped and abused and destroyed this kingdom. The suffering they’ve inflicted on the people here—” I choked on the words, and the images they conjured. “It’s unforgivable. And we let it happen for too long. No more. Someone needs to make him pay for it. And if you won’t, I’ll find a way to.”
The last sentence took me by surprise. I wasn’t planning to say it. But Weaver, I meant it.
Maybe I had broken my vow to the Arachessen. But this—this was a vow I would keep.
I had sworn myself to the Arachessen, and for so many years I had helped them fight against the Pythora King. But I was tired of fighting. I was ready to win.
Atrius was quiet.
Finally he said, “We can’t take Karisine like this.”
My heart fell, shattering against the harsh realities of our situation.
No, we couldn’t. His numbers were smaller than ever. Even before, he’d been relying on his cousin’s help to take Karisine. Now? Conquering it by brute force was out of the question, let alone taking the city-state that lay beyond it. And after that, we’d still have to cross treacherous cliffs to make it to the Pythora King’s isolated palace at the northern shore.
Even if we did have the manpower to make those moves, it would be slow, and it would guarantee many more losses we couldn’t afford.