I rub my temples, having a hard time looking at her now that I know she’s aware I spent a three-day sexcation with Noah only a couple of weeks ago. “It was . . . definitely a surprise.”
“It just means you’re compatible,” Gran says.
I do look at her then. “What do you mean?”
“When two shifters have a high compatibility, it can throw off your heat cycle. The pheromones just affect you a little more.” She scoffs. “Honestly, Mackenzie. You’re a doctor. You should know this.”
“I don’t exactly have shifter compatibility very high on my list of priorities,” I deadpan.
“Well, if you gave anyone a chance,” she chides. “You find something wrong with every person you go on a date with.”
“They weren’t exactly great dates,” I grumble.
“Oh, you just wanted something to be wrong with them.”
“Model train fanatics, Gran!”
“Mackenzie Carter. You can pitch those silly excuses to me all you want, but I’m not buying it.” She sets her mug down on the counter, looking at me sternly. “We both know you’re always looking for things to be wrong with someone, because finding something right with them would mean opening yourself up to something that you can’t control.”
“That’s not true,” I mumble, looking down at my lap.
“Like hell it isn’t,” she huffs. “You’ve done it since you were a kid. Honestly, if Parker hadn’t come along, you probably would have been content to just stay in your room when you weren’t at school.”
“Listen, to be fair, you have set me up on some really bad dates.”
“Have I? Or have you just been looking for reasons to not give anyone a second date?”
“Gran, seriously, there have been some—”
“Mackenzie,” she says, her tone softer now. “I get it. There have been some stinkers. But you’re twenty-nine, and you’ve never been in a relationship that lasted more than a few months at a time. There’s always some flaw or some habit that gets in the way. He snores too much, he watches too much football, he picks his teeth after dinner—”
“Oh, come on, that one is disgusting.”
“I’m just saying,” she stresses. “You always find a reason to end things before they can even start.”
I feel an emotion welling in my chest that seems too heavy, too raw—one that I’ve spent a good portion of my life suppressing. I rub my arm idly as I avert my gaze, knowing that this, too, is something I can’t lie to her about. Not this. She knows me too well.
“It’s not like I mean to,” I say quietly. “It’s not exactly fun being permanently single.”
“I’m not saying that I blame you,” she says, reaching across the counter to cover my hand with hers. “You had to deal with a lot of hard things as a kid. Things that were way too much for someone as young as you were. Your dad . . .” She shakes her head, looking away from me. “He lost a big part of himself when he lost your mom. He couldn’t handle it. I love my son, but he wasn’t the man he should have been. He should have stepped up for you, no matter how much he was hurting.” She looks at me again, her eyes fixed on mine. “But that doesn’t have to be your life. Just because your dad left you hurting doesn’t mean everyone will.” Her eyes start to water, the wrinkles around her mouth deepening as she frowns. “Maybe I should have said all of this to you sooner. Maybe it’s partly my fault.”
“No,” I protest, my voice thick. “Gran. You guys are perfect. You always have been. I just . . . I guess I’ve just been afraid.” I feel a single tear roll down my cheek, and Gran squeezes my hand. “I wasn’t enough for Dad. I couldn’t make him stick around. How in the hell can I expect to be enough for anyone else?”
“Oh, honey.” Gran releases my hand, toddling around the counter to wrap her thin arms around my body. “You are amazing. You’re beautiful and smart and funny—Well, sometimes.”
A watery laugh escapes me, and I snuggle further into her embrace. “I get my sense of humor from you.”
“Yeah, well, you sure as hell don’t get it from your grandfather.”
We both laugh, and she pulls away to look at me, reaching to cup my face in her hand.
“You are enough,” she tells me, her eyes full of emotion. “And then some. Anyone you choose would find themselves damn lucky.”