Atmosphere(52)

Joan looked at Griff, and he raised his eyebrows.

“In the fall of 1979, we received three thousand one hundred and twenty-two applications for the astronaut program. In the early winter of 1980, we interviewed one hundred and twenty-one finalists and selected the top eighteen to become astronaut candidates.”

Lydia caught Joan’s eye.

“Today, one year and one month after we began this training and evaluation, I can confidently say that the eighteen members of NASA Astronaut Group 9 have proven themselves to be some of the finest candidates NASA has ever had the pleasure to train. And it is my honor to declare that you are no longer ASCANs. Gentlemen—and ladies—we are immensely proud to call you, as of this moment, astronauts. Congratulations.”

Everyone started cheering. Joan caught Vanessa’s eye and, this time, could not bring herself to look away. Vanessa smiled.


Later that day, after elementary school was out, Joan picked up the phone at her desk at NASA and called Barbara.

“Can you put Frances on, too?” Joan asked.

Barbara called Frances to the phone, and when Joan could hear both of them, she told them the news.

“Did you get the silver pin?” Frances asked.

Joan was holding it in the palm of her hand. It was small and sharp. Ready to fly. “I am looking at it right now.”

Frances hollered, “Joanie! I am so proud of you!”

It unnerved Joan, just how quickly that made her choke up. She cleared her throat. “Thank you, babe,” she said.

“Well, how do you like that?” Barbara said. “My big sister is an astronaut.”


Everyone went to the Outpost that night to celebrate. Hank and Jimmy were buying rounds of beers, people were trickling in. It was early still, but getting rowdy quickly. When Duke offered to get a round for the whole bar, everyone in the place cheered, and then Hank turned to Donna and kissed her.

Lydia looked at Joan with her eyes wide. Joan laughed.

“So this is out in the open now?” Jimmy said.

Hank shrugged.

But Donna was beaming. When Donna caught her eye, Joan smiled at her, despite being filled with absolute terror. That one day she might smile like that, so unguarded.

“I suppose it is,” Hank said. And then, just above a shout: “We’re getting married. We thought y’all might as well know.”

The group cheered so loud Joan’s eardrums vibrated.

“Well, knock me over with a feather,” Jimmy said. “Hank giving up on happiness and tying his boat to a dock.” Jimmy laughed. “Good luck having a good time ever again!”

“Real nice, Jimmy,” Donna said.

“I’m just kidding!” Jimmy said. “Hank, get your girl to take a joke.”

“She takes a joke just fine, Jimmy.”

Vanessa arrived just then and came up next to Joan. “Why is everyone cheering?” she said. “The silver pins?”

Joan shook her head. “Hank and Donna are engaged.”

“Wow,” Vanessa said.

“It’s wonderful,” Joan said, but she couldn’t make her voice sound enthusiastic. Donna was hanging on to Hank’s arm, curling right into the space of his shoulder. Joan was mortified for her. “I guess.”

“You aren’t happy for her?” Vanessa said.

“I . . . they just think they’re very cute, don’t they? Two astronauts in love.”

Vanessa laughed. “Yeah, how awful. Two astronauts in love.”


Hours later, the bar had mostly cleared out. Griff, Lydia, Joan, and Vanessa were the only ones left.

“We did it,” Lydia said. “We actually did it.”

“We did,” Vanessa said.

“I didn’t think either of you would make it,” Lydia said, pointing at Vanessa and Joan.

“All right, Lydia,” Vanessa said.

“No.” Lydia shook her head with a fluidity that made Joan realize she was absolutely hammered. “I’m saying . . . I’m saying . . . listen to me.”

“Why don’t I make sure you get home?” Griff said.

“Yes, fine, but wait,” Lydia said. “I had good reason to be worried. I mean, Vanessa is a glorified mechanic, okay? Don’t get upset.”

“No,” Vanessa said. “Why ever would I be upset by that?”

“Right, you get it. I’m not being offensive,” Lydia said. “And Joan, at first you were so meek. You were like a tiny little baby mouse and I thought, ‘She’s never even going to make it out of parachute training.’ But look at you!”

“Let’s move on to your larger point,” Joan said.

Lydia sighed. “I didn’t think I had much to learn. I mean, I’ve always been the smartest girl in the room,” she said. “My whole life. Do you know what that’s like? When it’s all you have? Neither of you probably do.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Lydia, I swear to God. You may be smarter than me, but you’re not smarter than Joan, so drop it. Just drop it. I’ve tried to be cool, but you’re really pressing on my nerves,” she said.

“It’s fine,” Joan said. “She’s fine.”

“She’s not, actually,” Vanessa said. And then she looked at Lydia. “You’re not.”