Audre & Bash Are Just Friends(32)

“Eighteen and a half.”

A respectable age gap, thought Reshma. Definitely not punishable by jail time.

And then, Reshma’s smile matched Clio’s.





Chapter 13


Audre ran and ran, until she made it to the boardwalk. And then she kept running, dodging bicyclists and families with small children, until she tired out. Tears helplessly streaming down her cheeks, she staggered to a bench and sat down, hard. There she stayed, dripping wet and folded over at the waist.

After a while, her heart rate settled. The tears began to dry up, but her cheeks still felt raw and hot. Her chest was pounding. Her hands were trembling.

And, outside of the prom disaster, Audre had never been more humiliated.

If she’d had the strength to get up and continue running, she would’ve—straight for the bus and home, never to speak to Bash Henry again. He must’ve thought she was batshit. Shaking like that? Blurting out NO without even hearing what he had to say? And worse, hyperventilating. She could only imagine what he must be thinking of her right now. How unhinged she must’ve looked.

It was Day 1 of her Experience Challenge and she’d already failed. Reshma would be so disappointed. Audre was someone who couldn’t be in any risky situation with a boy—without getting a panic attack. Who was she to ever advise a client on anything? Let alone write a self-help book.

Audre leaned against the back of the bench. As she came back to earth, she focused on regulating her breathing. She soon became aware of how heavy her braids felt, soaked with sea water. Eyes still closed, she slid the scrunchy off her wrist and swept her hair up in a high ponytail. Slowly, she let her eyelids flutter open. And then she shrieked.

Bash was sitting on the boardwalk, at her feet. Legs crossed and grasping four grape Gatorade bottles. The line of his jaw clenched with stress and worry. When she screamed, he scrambled to his feet and sat next to her on the bench.

“Bash! You scared the shit out of me.”

“You scared the shit out of me!”

“Why were you sitting down there?”

“I thought you were gonna pass out. I wanted to be here to catch you, just in case. Like a trust fall.”

Bash smiled but she didn’t. She couldn’t even look at him directly.

“Here, drink this. You need electrolytes. It’s over ninety degrees today. I know all about overexerting yourself in the heat—it fucks with you.”

Shielding her eyes with her palm, she gratefully accepted the Gatorade, downing half of it in three gulps. Then she handed it back to him and dropped her face into her hands.

“Are you okay?” he asked, nudging her with his shoulder. “What happened back there?”

Audre kept her face in her hands. She felt so exposed, so thoroughly embarrassed. Her mind kept going back to prom night, the way Ellison and those faceless boys had laughed at her. If she could’ve disappeared between the slats of the bench, she would’ve.

Just my luck that Bash did track, she thought, mortified. Why did I think I could outrun him?

“Did I do something wrong?” Bash was saying.

“No, you’re fine. It’s me. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“And yet you want me to reveal my deepest, darkest thoughts, huh?”

“I know, I’m a hypocrite,” she said, her voice muffled behind her hands. “I just… I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“What isn’t?”

“This.” Audre dropped her hands and looked over at Bash. “My experiment. I thought I was ready to be adventurous, but maybe I’m not. I’m not used to being out of control. I don’t think I like it.”

“Understood.” He nodded, his brow knitted with concern. “You were hyperventilating. Has that happened before?”

“It was… it was…,” she started haltingly. She couldn’t get the laughter from prom night out of her mind. Ellison left her in the bed and went out and grabbed his friends. To record her. He made her a joke, a punch line—and at her most vulnerable moment. The shame curdled in her stomach.

Bash waited patiently, his expression open and encouraging.

“It was a panic attack,” she whispered. “I get them sometimes. It’s not a big deal, though. So let’s just… forget it, okay? I’m good.” She stood up, felt unsteady, and plopped back down.

“Back in Oakland, I knew someone who had panic attacks,” he said, a shadow of something flashing in his eyes.

“Who?”

“No one,” he said quickly. “Anyway, panic attacks fucking suck, man.”

“Understatement,” she said, clutching her stomach. “God, the world is moving but I’m sitting still.”

“You’re dizzy. You need more Gatorade,” he said, handing her another bottle.

Gratefully, she finished the first bottle, and downed the second. “Thanks. But I should take myself home now.”

“You can’t get on the bus alone like this. I’ll take you home. Where do you live in Park Slope?”

In a daze, she gave him her address and he typed it into his notes app.

“Cool. But let’s sit here till you feel better. I don’t have anywhere to be. Do you?”

She didn’t. So, Bash sat in silence with Audre while she sipped Gatorade and slowly floated back to life. Their clothes dried in the blazing sun. The squawking of the seagulls and steady hum of the crowded boardwalk lulled Audre into something close to calm.