Audre & Bash Are Just Friends(34)

Bash sounded curiously removed from his explanation, almost robotic. Audre wondered how often he even allowed himself to think about it. To her ears, it was heartbreaking. Bash just dropped so much information on her, she wasn’t sure how to respond. That was a new feeling.

“What’s that expression on your face?” he asked with slight amusement. “You just got all frowny.”

“Oh sorry, this is my ‘active listening’ face,” she said, massaging her brows with her fingertips. “Why’s your mom so busy? Managing Just Because?”

“Nah, she has a manager. My mom’s the owner. She owns hundreds of stores, all over Manhattan, Queens, and Brooklyn. Her great-great-grandfather was a retail tycoon.”

“She’s an heiress? Glamorous.”

“I don’t know about all that. I don’t really know her at all.”

“It sounds like you’re not that close. Can I ask? Why’d you move here?”

Bash shrugged, scratched his forearm. His shoulders slumped a little. It was as if the question depleted his energy.

“Family drama,” he finally said. And then he changed the subject. “Long story short, it’s cool that you’re close to your mom. Or, at least, you used to be.”

“The other day I gave a speech to the whole student body. Everyone was there—staff, parents, everyone. And she forgot to go. I had a panic attack right before, worse than this one, but I got it together in the bathroom, came back out, and I did the speech anyway. And I was good. It just would’ve been nice to have someone in the audience be proud of me.”

Bash handed her another Gatorade. He’d been carrying the last two under his arm as they walked. She took a swig and handed it back.

“What do you think the panic attacks are about? What are you anxious about?”

“Don’t know. Everything? It’s funny, when I was younger, I wasn’t scared of anything.”

Just then, Bash’s pocket lit up. Without knowing, Audre knew who it was. And she had to address it.

“Not to jump to conclusions…”

“Oh God.”

“… but are you gonna call Clio back?”

Bash aimed his index finger at her. “You are jumping to conclusions.”

“Do you realize that when you point your finger at me, you’re also pointing three fingers at yourself?”

Bash drew back in surprise. He examined his fingers and saw that, yes, his last three fingers were aimed at himself. “Crazy. Who are you?”

She answered with a grin. “But back to you. Why do you juggle so many girls?”

“Who says I’m juggling girls?”

“Well, everyone’s heard about Coco-Jean. People saw you buying her Plan B at CVS.”

“It’s not the way it sounds. I was vaping with her over by that pizza place Peppino’s. She said she needed to buy Plan B for a friend but was scared someone might see her. I could tell that wasn’t the truth, and she needed help. So I picked it up for her. That’s all.”

“Hmm. And Sparrow? She said you had a cosmic connection at Little Purity. She was weeping about your unspoken lust for each other.”

“The girl I bought lunch for? She was out of cash. I had cash. No more, no less. I didn’t even know her name was Sparrow. What’s up with y’all’s names out here?”

“Aging hipster parents.” Audre sighed. “You’re guilty of being too nice, Bash. Buying hopeless romantics bacon-egg-and-cheeses. Letting strangers party in your house when you’re not there. Breaking hearts all over town.”

“There are worse things to be, right?” His expression brightened, and he grinned at her. She smiled back. “Hey. Can I hear your speech?”

“You’re changing the subject.”

“Maybe. But also, I really want to hear your speech. You need someone to be proud of you. I’ll be proud.”

Audre thought about this for three-point-five seconds. And then she cleared her throat and launched into her speech with such gusto, Bash was startled.

Welcome to the Cheshire Prep Junior Class Awards Ceremony, friends, parents, and caregivers. We’re almost at the finish line, folks. And we’ve been through so much together in these past eleven years. Living in Brooklyn is such a specific experience. It’s like the world slowly gets bigger, in itty-bitty increments. Remember the first time you were allowed on the stoop by yourself as a kid? The next step is hanging out on the block alone. Then walking to school. Taking the bus to the Brooklyn Museum. Taking the train to the city—most likely, the Soho Sephora! [Pause for laughter.]

Growing up here happens in these clean-cut stages. Even so, we sometimes don’t notice growth as it happens. It can just feel like waiting. But those stages are important. Because they’re the ones that prepare us for Us 2.0. So, my fellow lifers, I leave you with this. Yes, we’re facing climate change, war, diminishing reproductive rights, the recession. Yes, being a teenager today can feel like mopping up a flood with a paper towel. But when we come out on the other side, no one will deny our power. Eff it, we ball. Go, Cheshire Tigers!

Audre stopped. Shyly, she glanced at Bash through her lashes. He looked like he’d just seen his first natural rainbow—all twinkly eyes and a wide, delighted smile. With a wild yelp, he started vigorously clapping.