Audre & Bash Are Just Friends(63)

“This!” yelled Eva, aiming her index finger at Bash, then Audre, then back at Bash. She was painkiller-woozy—but not too zonked to yell at Audre. “This is what I’m scared of. You, becoming unreachable. You, keeping whatever horrible prom thing happened from me. You, getting in over your head with some boy. Exhibit A… Bash, who thinks defending your honor means allowing himself to get absolutely rocked in the jaw by some lowlife.”

“With all due respect, ma’am, I won,” said Bash quietly. “He was a lowlife, though.”

Shane shook his head, the corners of his mouth pulled down. “Not now, son.”

Bash put up his hands in surrender and shut up.

“I’m trying to protect you,” said Eva.

“From what, though?”

“The fact that you don’t know what horrors can befall a teen girl if she’s not careful.”

“Horrors?” Audre shook her head, furious. She didn’t deserve being treated like a criminal in her own home. “Come on. I’m a perfect kid. You should feel lucky. Okay, fine, I missed your calls tonight, but what about all the times I didn’t? What about all the times I was here, worrying about you? Watching you for any signs that you were struggling? Pretending I was ready to end our movie date or brunch date or playground visit or American Horror Story marathon ’cause I could see in the way your shoulders crept up toward your ears that you were dying. Can you imagine what that’s like as a kid? To always be on alert? Before Shane, there was me, taking care of you.”

“You think I don’t know this, you ungrateful little…” Eva caught herself, and started again. “I know you were on alert. It haunts me, every day of the world, that my illness affects you so deeply. But I’m your mother. Everything you feel about me, I feel about you times ten. When I can’t reach you, the bottom falls out. When it happens twice, I think you’re dead.”

“But why do you jump to me being dead, Mom? Why are you scared?”

“She just is,” answered Shane quietly. “Listen to your mother.”

“Audre, you’re a great kid. You’re my favorite person. You’re my idol. Please don’t rebel till you go to college. My heart can’t take it.”

“But I don’t want to be your idol. That’s an impossible standard. Yes, you’re perfect. And Grandma Lizette’s perfect. And our maternal bloodline is so girlbossy, you wrote a book about them. But I just want to be normal.”

With finality, Shane dropped his palms on his thighs and stood up. “Look, we’ve all been through it tonight. Eva, Audre—let’s sleep on it and revisit tomorrow. I’ll see you out, Bash.”

Audre followed them as Shane walked Bash to the door.

“Where do you live, son? Should I get you an Uber?” asked Shane.

“No thanks, I’ll walk. I’m on Prospect Park West.”

“Oh word?” And then Audre watched her stepdad become Mentorship Shane, which, after Chef Shane, was the most vivid Shane. “I think I see what happened here.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. You live on the Park, niggas around the city think you’re bougie, so you’re out here fighting to prove you’re tough. Listen, dog, you have nothing to prove. You understand? Black manhood is so much more nuanced than what these white kids think.”

“Umm… that’s not…”

“One time, when I was your age, I had a job at a gas station. It was freezing, ice everywhere. A customer, this preppy white guy, was like, ‘Watch out for the black ice!’ I thought he said, ‘Watch out for the Black guys.’ I’m looking around like, ‘I’m the only Black guy here.’ So then I felt called to beat his ass. For what, though? It was pointless. I spent a night in jail, and to this day a confused white man is walking the earth wondering why a gas station attendant tackled him in ’05.” He paused. “Keep it a buck, that part I don’t care as much about.”

“Shane, please,” sighed Audre.

“I’ll get you an Uber,” he whispered to Bash. “It’s late. You want some ice for that eye? An Advil?”

“Really, I don’t even feel it. And I’m sorry about…” Bash gestured toward his bruised, cut face. “This… really isn’t what it looks like.”

“Never is, is it?”

“It’s just, I really like Audre. Someone disrespected her and I can’t allow that.”

Even in the middle of family chaos, Audre went all warm and tingly all over. Shyly, she looked down at her toes, her heartbeat roaring in her ears.

Bash stood up for me like an actual knight in shining armor, she thought. I didn’t know this was something I needed or wanted.

Meanwhile, Shane had slapped Bash on the back. “Good man. Between us, I’m glad you looked out for Audre. But be safe, understand? Things can go from a tousle to jail faster than you can blink. Especially for us.”

“I know. My brain just shut off. Like a light going out. Pffft.”

“That happens sometimes, when you have strong… platonic… feelings for someone.”

Audre’s cheeks went hot. She and Bash shared a split-second glance before looking away.

“You seem like a really present stepdad, sir. You’re cool. My dad never talked to me like this. He just yelled.”