Camera Shy (Lessons in Love, #1)(112)

“Mermaid costume?” Finn asks.

“For Cass’s party.”

I think Lennox has assumed we talked about it, but we were a little occupied last night. I meant to ask Finn how he felt about me going this morning. I was going to ask if he wanted me to go as Lennox’s friend or his date. Judging by the deer-in-headlights look on his face, I’m assuming he doesn’t want me within a ten-mile radius of Ruby’s.

“You spoke to Cass?” Finn asks me.

“No, I got a plus-one,” Lennox answers on my behalf.

Finn narrows his eyes at his cousin. “And you invited Avery?

“I don’t have to go—”

“The fuck you don’t!” Lennox shrieks. “This costume is superior and I already have a bunch of glittery mermaid shit. You’re going.” She narrows her eyes back at Finn and points directly at his forehead. “And you fix your face. You’re coming off like an ass. I’ll be back,” she mutters, heading to the door that leads to the basement, grumbling the entire way about us sullying her art.

The minute we hear the door shut, Finn raises his palms in the air as surrender. But I speak before he can.

“Finn, I wasn’t trying to insert myself—”

“No, it’s not that. You’re welcome wherever I am—”

“It’s just that Lennox was trying to be nice, and I mentioned my idea for a costume, and she’s excited.” I interrupt him right back and continue in a panic because the look on his face seems a whole lot like rejection. Of course. Finn and I make perfect sense in private, but I should know better than to think he’d want to show up with me at his future gentleman’s club surrounded by a sea of beautiful, slim women—

“Cass and I have sex,” he blurts out. “Had sex. For years. We just stopped a few months ago.”

The timeline doesn’t make sense. He had sex with Cass for years? But I thought he was with Nora for years. “You cheated on Nora?”

“No. Never.”

“So you’d sleep with Cass when you guys broke up?”

Finn hands me a filled mug, then steps back. “Well, technically that too.”

“Can you stop being so evasive?” I take a small sip from the hot coffee. I don’t flinch when it scalds my tongue. I’m too invested in whatever is making Finn look like someone is shoving nails through his fingertips. “Just tell me.”

He blows out a deep breath. “Nora and I and Cass would sleep together.”

“Huh?”

“Good grief,” Finn grunts, rolling his eyes, agitated that he has to further clarify. “A threesome, Avery. Most of the time, Nora and I would have threesomes—just with Cass. We trusted her. But she’s only ever been just a friend. Cass likes gratuitous sex, no strings attached. After Nora and I broke up, it was easy to be with Cass when I was hurting because it was just physical.”

“You stopped sleeping with her when you met me?”

Finn shakes his head. “A few months before that. I don’t know if I told you, but I was abstinent for a while before we met.”

I try to hide my surprise. And fail. I can literally feel how wide my eyes are. “Why?”

“I got to the point where I stopped liking sex. It got boring and tedious. I’d be with a woman and wouldn’t feel anything. Eventually, I realized it wasn’t what I wanted, so I stopped sleeping around to get a little clarity.”

I point to my chest and mouth, me?

He chuckles as he nods. “There was something about you that made me feel safe. Is that lame for a man to say?”

“Not at all,” I say soothingly. “You deserve to feel safe.”

But then again, so do I.

I’ve been waiting for Finn’s kink. He seemed to really enjoy the rough sex last night. I am totally fine with fuzzy handcuffs and I would be open to more naked photo shoots, but this…

“So do you still like threesomes?”

He runs his hands through his hair and purses his lips. “How am I supposed to answer that?”

“Honestly,” I reply.

“Obviously, I did. It’s a lot of, um”—he scratches his head awkwardly—“parts and stimulation when you’re with more than one woman.” He runs his hand over his face and groans like the words taste bad in his mouth. “But I would never expect you to do that. And I was only concerned about Cass’s birthday because I wouldn’t introduce you to Nora, so I’m not sure what to do about Cass. She really is just a friend, but still, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

I know he’s trying to be considerate, but all I just heard was that Finn likes threesomes and yet he’d never expect me to do that.

“What else do you like that I don’t know about?” I’m almost scared to ask. “I don’t want you to feel like I can’t keep up.”

He tilts his head to the side and looks at me with pity in his eyes. “Keep up? You’re miles ahead, Queen. I’m happy. I am perfectly content with the way we have sex.”

“Perfectly content?”

“Yeah.” Finn gives me a kind smile and taps his nose. “You’re perfect.”

We’re quite clearly fixating on different words because he thinks perfect is a compliment, but I know exactly what content leads to. It’s boredom, dissatisfaction, and after four years getting proposed to and then immediately dumped while you cry into a messy, crumbled pile of chocolate cake. I’ll be damned if I fall in love again just to start over at thirty-four.