Daydream (Maple Hills, #3)(99)

I think about it before realizing he’s totally right. “I think it’s because I like not having to be in control of everything. I like not having to make the choices.”

“My sweet girl,” he says carefully. “I want to know everything about you.”

It’s wild for me to realize that whenever I think of the first time I ever had sex, I won’t have to remember a time when I wasn’t ready with someone I didn’t truly want to be with. I’ll get to think of this moment, here with Henry, where he makes me feel as special as the whole night sky.

He holds my wrist at first, guiding me up and down, focusing on the tip until I get it right and he lets go. He explores my body with his hands, brushing and touching, until he gets too close and tells me to stop what I’m doing.

When he reaches for the condoms, he also grabs the lube and towel. “I read online the first time is easier from behind,” I say when he gets onto his knees to spread the towel across where our hips will be. “I don’t know, though… obviously.”

“Next time, let’s keep these on.” He directs me over the towel and starts rolling each stocking down my leg. The garter belt goes next, followed by my bra, until I’m totally naked with my legs spread open for him. I’ve wondered if I’d regret it when I got to this point, but as his eyes rake over me, dark and heavy, I realize there’s no chance. “You’re so perfect, Halle. I’ve dreamed about having you like this.”

“Henry…” It’s a moan and a plea, I don’t even know. I just want him.

“We can do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. But do you want to look at the pillow or the headboard? Or would you rather be looking up at my face the first time I slide inside of you?”

I swallow so hard I swear it’s audible. My skin prickles. “I want to be looking up at your face.”

“Good. Because I want to see yours, too. Stay on your back to start, and we can try the other way if it’s not good. I’m going to make it good for you.”

“I had a sex dream about you once. Weeks ago, and I couldn’t look at you,” I admit, sort of frantically, while I watch him push down his boxers and roll on the condom. It’s so thick and heavy. I know biology is on my side and I’m designed to take it, but holy shit. “My subconscious hasn’t done you justice.”

“We’re going to revisit this conversation.” He looks so smug, and it truly makes me relieved I didn’t tell him at the time. “For now I’ll have to give your imagination a lot of material to work off then.”

I love that we’re not rushing. At no point do I feel like I’ve been groped or pushed. But I really, desperately, borderline obsessively want him to put it in.

“Henry, please. I’m aching and my body feels a little like it’s going to burst into flames.”

“And I’m supposed to be the impatient one.” He positions himself over me, lips pressed against mine as I feel him nudge into me. It’s unlike any sensation I’ve had before. “Oh shit, Halle. Fuck, you feel so good.” He kisses the corner of my mouth. “Are you okay?”

I nod, clinging to him desperately. “You’re bigger than your fingers.”

“I know, I know.” It almost sounds like an apology. “You’re so wet, though, it’ll get easier. Pass me your vibrator and take a deep breath to relax.”

Turning it back on to its lowest setting, he wedges it between us against my clit and my whole body shakes. He isn’t hurting me; it’s just a strange sensation to finally feel the throb ease while also feeling like I’m being stretched, and everything’s more heightened.

I take hold of the vibrator so he can put his hands in my hair again the way I like, and wrap my legs around him, crossing them at the bottom of his back. The angle does something, because I watch his eyes roll back while he sinks in deeper. His stomach flexes, and when he focuses back on me, there’s something I can’t read, but I know I feel it, too, whatever it is.

We get into a rhythm, a perfect one. Both of our bodies are glistening with sweat. Henry’s mouth closes around my nipple, then the other one, sucking and teasing as his hips roll backward and forward against me. It’s too much. Too good.

My fingers sink into the hard muscles of his back, clinging to him like he’s the only thing keeping me on earth. He goes a bit harder, a bit deeper, the sound of our skin meeting while he moans my name. It all makes me unravel. My legs tighten around his hips, pushing him deeper with my feet. His head buries into my neck, kissing and sucking the sensitive skin. My back arches, pushing me into him as if I could get any closer.

His hips jerk and I feel him swell and twitch, sealing this whole thing.

I don’t want to let him go as he lies on top of me, the pair of us panting. There’s an almost emotional reaction bubbling to the surface, but this couldn’t have been more perfect.

“Are you okay?” he asks carefully, kissing my eyelids, then my nose, then my lips.

“I’m starting to get a little bit sore,” I admit, wincing when he pulls out even though he’s gentle.

“I’m going to run you a bath, okay?” he says.

I nod. “That would be nice.” I hate it when he climbs off me, but I rationalize that at some point he does need to clean up and dispose of the condom. “Henry,” I yell as he rounds the corner toward the bathroom.