Fake Skating(106)

I smiled because of course this town would give the hockey team a police escort.

I couldn’t be on that bus, though.

I just couldn’t.

I’d already done enough.

So when morning came, I told my mom that my stomach still hurt (which wasn’t entirely untrue). She called me out of school and I thought I was in the clear, but everything changed when my grandpa knocked on my door after my mom left.

“Kid,” I heard from the other side of my bedroom door.

“Yeah?” I asked, sitting up and shoving the gummy bears into my nightstand drawer.

“Can I come in?”

“Hey,” I said, sniffling as I opened the door. “What’s up?”

He frowned and said, “Get dressed, I’m taking you to school.”

“What?”

He couldn’t be serious. I put every ounce of illness I could project into my voice when I said, “I can’t go to school. I’m sick.”

“Liar.”

“Grandpa!”

“You made a commitment, and you need to follow through. I don’t care if you broke up with your boyfriend or whatever the hell you have going on—you’re not a quitter.”

“How did you know about—”

“I can still hear when I’m in another room, for God’s sake,” he said in disgust.

“I can’t—”

“Yes, you can, Danigirl,” he said, cutting me off yet again.

I shook my head and swallowed hard, because the nickname and the way it sounded like he genuinely wanted me to open up made everything hurt a little more. “I can’t.”

He frowned harder. “Yes, you can. Now get dressed for school.”

I stared at him for a minute, speechless, and I could tell he wasn’t going to be moved on this. The man who’d once played an entire game with a broken wrist didn’t understand quitting.

I could tell I wasn’t going to win, so I went into the bathroom and pulled my hair back into a ponytail.

But as I started thinking about school, I started freaking out. I was going to have to face Alec, who probably hated me by now.

What if he wanted to talk about it? With the way he always managed to read my mind, what if he looked at me and knewabout my agreement with Benji?

Before I had a chance to even register I was spiraling, I started breathing too fast. My heart was racing and I was sweating and—oh God—I couldn’t stop it. I put my hands on top of my head and told myself what I always told myself—this is just your body freaking out, you are fine—but I couldn’t get air.

“Deep breaths, kid, deep breaths,” I heard, and when I looked in the mirror, my grandpa was standing in the doorway, watching me.

He gave me a nod and said it again. “In through your nose and count to four. You’re fine.”

I tried, but it still felt too fast.

It wasn’t working.

“Come on,” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the bathroom. I followed behind him, shaking, and was surprised when he pushed open the doors that led out onto the balcony. Frigid air rushed at me in my pajamas and stockinged feet.

“Grandpa, it’s freezing!” I said. “I—”

“It helps,” he said, cutting me off. “The cold air helps. Focus on how fucking cold it is.”

“It is fucking cold,” I said, which made him raise an eyebrow.

And then he smirked.

He stood out there with me for a long time, not saying a word as I paced around the balcony with my hands on top of my head, telling myself I was okay while freezing my ass off.

“Better?” he finally asked when I stopped pacing.

“Much,” I said, clearing my throat. The cold air had helped, and I was ridiculously grateful for this giant grump who’d talked me through the attack. “Thank you, Grandpa.”

“Now why don’t we go inside and you can tell me why you don’t want to go to school and the tournament so badly.”





CHAPTER FORTY-SIX Alec




“I can’t believe Dani’s still sick.”

I kept my eyes out the window, turning up the volume in my ears as I tried ignoring the conversation behind me. This was an epic day and I refused to fucking think about her.

Not when we were headed to the X.

The team bus was surrounded by the ceremonial Southview police escort, lights flashing as the cruisers led us toward the city limits, and I was trying my damnedest to find a balance between excitement and focus.

“Did you talk to her today, Zeus?” Vinny asked, leaning forward.

He and Kyle were on the seat behind me.

“Nah,” I said, shaking my head and refusing to picture her face.

Kyle shot me a look but didn’t say a word.

He was the only one who knew.

I’d confided in him (which meant Cass probably knew), but when he suggested we keep it quiet until after the tournament so no one got superstitiously freaked out, I grabbed the bailout with both hands.

Because I had no interest in having any conversations about what had happened.

I fucking couldn’t.

I’d gone through the motions yesterday and today, pretending my girlfriend was out sick, but I couldn’t think of her without feeling a thousand fucking feelings.