If It Makes You Happy(94)

“It’s okay that it didn’t work out,” he says. “I mean … what did you expect to happen though?”

“Lars?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll give you a dozen doughnuts if you don’t talk right now.”

“Deal, man.” He claps me on the back. “But I’m not leaving you like this.”

“Fair enough.”

We emerge on the other side of the park and cross the street. I feel aimless. And I’m cold.

A single raindrop hits my forehead. I sigh and tuck myself under the nearest awning for cover. I peer through the floor-to-ceiling glass windows and exhale again. It’s the video store, and Emily is inside once again, leaning on the counter across from Josh.

At the sound of the front doorbell, Emily turns around. Her eyes bug out in fear. Her mouth drops open to argue.

I hold up my hand. “Nope. I’m too tired to be upset. Help me find some movies.”

She and Josh exchange wide-eyed glances. From the corner of my eye, I spot Lars giving them a reassuring thumbs-up.

I know how I look. My hair is damp from the sprinkling rain outside. My hands are shoved in my jacket pockets. I didn’t sleep much last night either, so I probably look like a dead man crawling from the grave.

Emily scrambles away from the counter and down my aisle, sidestepping past Lars.

“Dad, you good?” For the first time since Halloween, my daughter doesn’t look like she wants to lock me out of her room.

“I’m good,” I say with a half smile.

It’s not convincing because her eyebrows furrow together.

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s moping,” Lars cuts in.

“That’s eleven doughnuts now.”

“Ah, come on.”

I turn back to Emily. “I’m looking for some movies for while you kids are gone.”

“Ugh,” she groans.

I huff out an exhausted laugh and rub her back.

“Hurts me too, kiddo.”

I turn the corner to a different aisle, bumping my fingertips over cases. I freeze in front of Pretty in Pink. My heart skips. It’s the movie Allen didn’t like Michelle to watch.

Such a stupid man.

I grab it.

Emily clicks her tongue behind me. “It’s funny you’re here actually. Me and Brittany were talking … and before we leave, we’d like a girls’ night with Aunt Carol.”

“Sounds fun,” Lars says. He’s trying his best to cover for my pessimism.

“That’s fine,” I say. “When have you ever asked for permission to do that?”

“Well, we wanna invite over Michelle and Sara too.”

I freeze. Even her name is a blow to the chest. It shouldn’t be. She’s Michelle. My friend, my neighbor. Michelle.

Lars’s face is pulled into a comical grimace. “Uh …”

I blow out air. “What are some good movies out right now?”

“Wait, what about the sleepover—”

“Go with Braveheart!” Josh calls from the counter through cupped hands.

“Huh.” I poke out my bottom lip and murmur, “First good thing he’s said.”

Fig roll might have upgraded to something better. A Swiss roll maybe. More spongy.

My daughter stares at me, tucking her blond strands behind her ears.

“Are you actually dating again?” she asks. “Like, really, really?”

The day keeps getting worse. I didn’t want to cross the dating bridge like this. I wanted to present the right woman at the right time—not be the dad who dates around.

“I’m gonna go over … yep.” Lars shuffles into the next aisle over, leaving me with Emily’s worried expression.

“They got to you too, huh?” I joke.

“Well, there was Sara last night, and now everyone is asking me if my dad is single. Which is so mortifying.” Then she gives a sheepish shrug. “It probably sucks for you, too, though, huh?”

The corner of my mouth pulls up.

“It hasn’t been fun,” I admit. I hold up a tape and yell, “What do you think about Twister, Josh?”

“Fantastic, Cliff—”

Emily groans. “Since when are you two pals?”

I chuckle. “Josh and I are two peas in a pod. Didn’t you get the memo?”

“So, is it true? Are you dating?”

“No.”

“Okay, but don’t you want to get back out there, Dad?”

“Why does everyone think I should do that?” I murmur under my breath. “Josh! Independence Day?”

“Dude, yes! The best movie last year for sure.”

“That’s the one, then,” I muse, tapping it on top of the other movie.

I attempt to walk back to the counter, but Emily blocks my path.

“Em—”

“You’ve got a problem, Dad.”

I raise my eyebrows. “I have a problem?”

“Yeah. You’re the divorced dad who owns a bakery. That’s your thing.”

A laugh bubbles out of me. “How’s that a problem?”

“Because I think you like the reputation of being the divorced guy. You hide behind it, so then you don’t have to think about the possibility of dating again and being in love.”