In the Veins of the Drowning(52)

“Everything. When I was little, I was afraid of the dark.”

“So is every child.”

I dipped the rag again and opened the collar of his shirt, letting myself enjoy the cut of his hard chest. “Maybe my fear was like a normal child’s. But the darkness in Fort Linum felt different. It felt sinister. It’s so dark, so thick, that it used to feel like its own kind of monster. Corporeal. I would forget myself and spend too long in the study reading and then I’d have to trudge through it to get to my chamber. I’d be crying and shaking by the time I’d reached my bed one level down.”

His thumb moved back and forth over my hip. “Why didn’t you sleep in the study?”

I shook my head as I swiped the bridge of his nose, his cheek. “I wanted my room. The comfort of a place that belonged only to me.”

“Brave of you.” He looked at me like he had the first night we’d met, like he was taking stock of all the pieces and parts of me, but now, he seemed to look closer. To a lower layer. Foolishly, I hoped that this time, those pieces would fall into a shape he found more pleasing.

I rose from his knee and threw the dirty water from the bowl, wrung out the rag. “I’m hungry.” I looked past Theodore to the three men huddled around a roaring fire. “You’ll have to make nice so we can heat some food.”

Theodore grimaced as he stood, then swiped his hands on his pants. “I’ll make our bedroll first.”

“Bedrolls. As in two.”

He came toward me and took the bowl and rag from my hand. “Bedroll. As in one. As in there is no way in all the sweet hells that this blood bond would let you sleep away from me when we are in the middle of the wildlands with three strange men sleeping beside us.”

The line we toed began to break and blur. I could just as easily sleep safely on my own bedroll, under my own blanket, beside him. And the men who shared our camp were as innocuous as ever, laughing and telling poor jokes. But I couldn’t bring myself to argue either point.

I was selfish, just as Theodore had said. I batted away my shame and nodded. “One it is.”

Back at the horses, I helped Theodore pull our supplies from their restraints. The road we’d taken in had widened, cutting between the long, flat beach and the edge of the vineyard. The waves crashed quite a way out, but I could nearly hear them as the end of the day settled into a hush.

Theodore whistled quietly as he handed me a bedroll and a blanket. The tune was familiar, perhaps a song I’d danced to before. It was quick and rhythmic, but he whistled it at half speed. In his old worn clothes, with his dark hair mussed from travel, he looked roguish and at ease. A smile curled my lips. “You’re different outside the palace.”

He gave me a cautious look. “Am I?”

“I think so.”

“You haven’t known me very long.” He smirked. “What if I’m always like this and you and I just met under very trying circumstances?”

I laughed and took a second blanket from him. “I don’t doubt meeting me made many things worse for you, but I wonder if it’s your responsibilities that make you so… surly. All that pressure you put on yourself.” I walked around the horse slowly, toward the cottage, and he followed. “You seem to like it out here. In the sun and dirt. I like you better out here too, I think.”

By the way he stared at me, I couldn’t tell if I’d hurt him or complimented him. He took the load I carried into his own arms.

“I’m sorry,” I said, when he was still close. “I didn’t mean—you’re right, I haven’t known you that long.”

He shook his head at my apology. “I find you rather terrifying, Imogen.”

“Terrifying?”

“It’s true you haven’t known me long, but somehow you know me rather well.”

He was devastating, standing before me looking windblown and anguished. I wanted to touch him, to smooth the lines etched into his face.

He turned toward the cottage, and before I followed, I glanced out over the waves—then froze. On the tremulous line of the horizon sat four little ships. They were no more than shadowy smudges at this distance, but something in my center dipped. I held my breath and crossed the dirt road toward the beach.

The bond sent rattling worry through my stomach as our distance grew.

“Imogen?” Theodore called. But I kept moving, knowing he’d follow.

My boots sank into the sand, my tired muscles burning as I tried to move over it. I’d spent my whole life looking at the sea from afar. Through my window in Fort Linum, a ship on the water’s surface was nothing but a dot from the end of an artist’s brush, but if I stared long enough, they distinguished themselves. And it was always easiest to tell when it was Nemea’s ships that floated into the harbor.

The red, eel-stitched flag, flapping in the wind as if it were undulating through the sea. The dark sails, the same color as King Nemea’s bitter wine. Theodore reached my side; our bond calmed. He saw what I did, and it morphed his countenance back into that of a king. His chin lowered. His gaze grew hard. “There he is.”

There was not a hint of surprise in his voice. He’d been prepared, he’d known Nemea’s men would come. So had I, but I found myself staring, slack-jawed, with terror wriggling through me as if it were that Godsdamned eel.