Insatiable (The Edge of Darkness, #1)(40)

I don’t respond as I slam the door shut and make sure it’s locked. I quickly message Barry and tell him to put a guard outside the room. He confirms instantly.

I nod to one of my team as I leave the hotel reception; outside, a black SUV holds more of my guys waiting for instructions. Wherever I go, they’re always nearby.

Always watching my back. Always on alert. Always waiting .

When I drop into the driver’s seat of my R8, I shake my head at the scent of her everywhere.

Can I not escape her? One – she’s my ex. Two – she’s my sister’s best friend and always there. Three – she’s coming to America. Four – I’m stuck in a damn hotel room with her.

And five – the biggest mindfuck of the year – I want to go back and screw her brains out, to hear her moan my name again, to feel her skin beneath my hands and the taste of her on my tongue.

I press my forehead to the steering wheel to rid all the thoughts and call to mind the video – the one that started all of this – thankfully losing the semi that was growing.

Mum answers on the second ring. “Hello, sweetheart. We have ten minutes before the visitation ends.”

We do the whole back and forth on how the day has been while I try focus. It’s sunny over there, raining here. Luciella has argued with Base all morning, and she can’t wait to see us.

She whispers something to my dad: “I’ll go to the bathroom and give you two some peace.”

My lungs are still on fucking fire. “Thanks, Mum.”

There’re a few seconds of silence.

“Kade?” the deep, threatening voice rumbles through the phone.

As much as the world is terrified of Tobias Mitchell, he’s my dad. He has his issues, and a terrible past, but I’m not much better. I’ve taken over one hundred lives in only two years, whereas he’s killed four people.

He has the excuse of not understanding right from wrong, but I know fine well what I’m doing when I track a person down and make them bleed and beg for mercy .

“Dad…” I stop, a lump strangling me. Everything is hitting me at once.

“Son?”

My eyes close. “Can… Can anyone hear me?”

“Just me.”

I grit my teeth, unsure how much I can say. He doesn’t know that I’m tied to Bernadette and her fucked-up world, and I don’t think even the institution could keep him on a leash if he found out.

He would start with Archie, and decapitate him while Bernie watched in horror. I want to be the one to end her though.

The crushing pressure against my chest amplifies, and I’m certain my team sitting in the SUV across the car park can see me hunching over my steering wheel.

I take as much of a deep breath as I can. “We missed our flight. The next one is tomorrow.” I pause, gulping, sweat breaking out all over me. “We need to share a hotel room with only one fucking bed.”

“Language.” He sighs. “What did you do?”

“Too much.” I manage another gulp as sweat drips down the side of my face. “Dad… I can’t breathe properly and my… my chest is killing me. My lips are tingling and so are my hands. The way it used to happen when I was a kid.”

We haven’t talked in a long time. Nearly two years. But I know he can talk me out of this. He always did before.

Dad hums, and a few seconds go by. I can hear the thundering of my erratic heartbeat in my ears. “Can you see?”

My jaw clenches and unclenches repeatedly, fingers obsessively tapping on my steering wheel. The coke should be slowly leaving my system now. “Yeah. I can see. ”

“Five objects you can see. Tell me.”

I exhale, my eyes scanning the area. “Other cars. A lamppost. The hotel car park sign.”

“Good. Keep going.”

Dad stays silent while I try to concentrate. Slowly, the pain in my chest eases a touch, but not fully. “A fox just ran across the small hill in front of me.”

“Do you remember Luciella wanted a fox as a pet when she was ten?”

A smile tugs at my lips. “Yeah.”

“One more, son.”

My mind isn’t against me. All this panicking is just in my head. “I can smell her in the car. She’s still wearing the same perfume.”

I know he’s nodding. “The one you bought her?”

“Yeah.”

I stare at the passenger seat and imagine her soft legs, toned from years of dancing, and her hair flying around her face as I drive faster. She’s giggling, then crawling into my lap.

“Same one. Flowerbomb.”

“You’ve had to spend time with her.”

I look away from the hallucination of her beside me. “Yeah.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“That I was okay with breaking the first four rules. But now I regret it, because at the end of the day, she doesn’t deserve for me to break the fifth.”

Dad helped me form the five rules. I was spiralling right after we broke up, and he knew I was seconds from losing it. He thought it would help me get off the booze, completely unaware of all the drugs I was consuming.

I needed something to fill the void, and partying myself into a comatose state was the best way when I had Bernadette over my shoulder, leading me into the underworld like an animal into a slaughterhouse.