Insatiable (The Edge of Darkness, #1)(43)

“What if I wanted something else?”

Kade pulls out of the drive-through lane and parks up. “You don’t like anything else.”

I blink. “For someone who can’t stand me, you seem to remember a lot about me.”

A smirk. Curbing it, he unclips his seat belt and readjusts himself with parted legs. “Unfortunately.”

We eat in silence. The radio still plays, though he’s at least turned it down now, and his phone keeps buzzing with messages. He denies a call then tosses the phone into the divider.

“That might’ve been important.”

“Just eat your food, Freckles.”

“Don’t call me that.”

He glares at me until I look away with heated cheeks.

After another few minutes of quiet, he takes all the rubbish and puts it in the bin he parked beside. The radio switches to the news; the gruesome murder is the lead story, and the reporter explains that someone’s been detained but another suspect is still at large.

“Head of Police Scotland Bernadette Sawyer is here with us. She’s been personally working on this case for the past few hours. Is there anything you’d like to say to the public, ma’am?”

Kade holds his breath and slows down .

“Certainly. I’d like to reassure the public that we have the best of the best on the search and strongly urge anyone who has any information to come forward. We believe there were two attackers, and we have detained one. Holyrood Park will stay closed until further notice.”

“Is there anything you can say about the innocent life that was taken?”

“Is it not weird to ask that on—”

“Shh.”

I roll my eyes and cross my arms as Kade turns the volume up.

“The body has been identified as Matthew Barnwell, a thirty-year-old man who was on his way home from work. The family has been informed, and love has poured in from social media for this respected member of the community, with hundreds of people expressing their condolences.”

Kade tuts. “Respected.” He shakes his head. “Fucking ridiculous.”

“Did you know him?” I ask, puzzled. “The man that was killed?”

“Of course not.”

I narrow my eyes, brows furrowed with confusion. “Then what’s ridiculous?”

“She doesn’t know him. How can she say he was respected? She’s full of shit.”

“Well, at least she sounds hot,” I say. “A singsong voice.”

Nothing. Not a word. His eye twitches as he slams his foot down on the accelerator. He pulls onto a long stretch of road towards the airport, with no streetlights in a tunnel of trees.

Another Bad Omens song plays, and I tap my foot to the song.

I ask what time we take off – no response .

I ask why he’s being an idiot – no response.

I ask if he wants to talk about what happened earlier, and, of course, there’s no response. Slapping him would be acceptable, right?

“Come on, Kade. Are you going to give me the silent treatment the entire trip?”

“I don’t plan on seeing you this entire trip,” he replies, monotone. “As soon as we land, this nightmare is over.”

I grit my teeth, annoyance and fury in my veins.

Kade has every right to be mad at me, but he still walked away. He still claims to despise me.

Yet right now I’m wearing his jacket because I was cold. If Kade truly, truly loathes the ground I walk on, why is he even taking me on this jet with him? Why did he back me against the wall in the studio? Follow me out of the manor to see who I was out talking to at the gate? Why pleasure me?

Why did he try to kiss me?

I gather enough courage to speak and turn to him. “I didn’t know what I was doing,” I say, filling the silence and attempting to calm my nerves.

I twist my fingers together. I’ve imagined this conversation a million ways, and it’s always easier to speak out in my head. Why is it so hard to admit what happened?

Kade driving faster and ignoring me isn’t helping.

“That night, I was—” Raped.

I stop, a lump sticking in my throat. I fail to say it aloud.

“It wasn’t…” What you think. “I didn’t…” Want to do it. But all I can finish with is, “I’m… I’m sorry.”

I look out the window to hide the tears building behind my eyes as I try and fail to use my voice. If I tell him what happened and how many times, he’ll think I’m dirtier than he already does. Used. Worthless. Or he’ll say I’m a liar. He might not believe me, and then I’d be called an attention-seeker, a manipulator – toxic.

I want so badly to tell him the truth, but it won’t come out.

Still no reply.

“Sorry,” I say again.

Kade scoffs. “Don’t waste your breath. I really don’t give a shit.”

I shake my head. “You obviously do, or you’d stop having such a terrible attitude with me.”

I turn to face him again and let a tear slip down my cheek, my lip trembling. “I loved you. I wanted everything with you. Why would I ruin that? I would never intentionally—”

My body jerks forward as Kade slams on the brakes, the tyres screeching on the road until the car comes to a stop. Hair over my face, hands on the dashboard, I watch him with wide eyes as he heaves in breaths and grabs his lighter.