Into the Fading Twilight (Starlight Grove, #2) (93)

“Stop calling my fiancée Little Badass,” Dex growled.

“I’m not calling her Hot Little Badass anymore. What more do you want from me?” Mav argued.

Dex dove for Maverick, taking him down to the grass for a noogie. The kids and animals instantly joined in on the fun, but Ever moved closer to me, squeezing my hand and then letting it go.

“You’re good for her. And she’s good for you. You make each other better. More yourselves. And there’s no greater gift than that.”

With those words, she slipped off the side of the deck and headed for her rental car. But the words stayed with me, and I’d hold tight to the hope in them. Just as long as nothing else blew up in my face.





CHAPTER FORTY-ONE


Nova




HOT WATER STREAMED DOWN FROM THE SHOWERHEAD, easing my aching muscles. It had stung the scrapes and cuts at first, but now it just felt damn good. I rolled my shoulders back as I rinsed the last of the conditioner from my hair, reveling in the feeling after the longest day known to man.

I almost felt back to normal. The word had my face screwing up. Normal. I wasn’t sure I’d ever been there or ever would be. But I didn’t know if I wanted to be.

At least I was feeling less out of my body. For that time in the forest, the time after, it was almost as if I were hovering over myself and taking everything in from above.

The memories that had surfaced flared again. Snippets of Travis’s voice. Glimpses of his twisted face. The feeling of hands around my neck.

And more was coming. Other things were swirling now. Memories of the dark. Of trying to grasp the concept of the passing days and weeks. Wondering if it was Thanksgiving, Christmas, or my birthday. Trying to picture Brae and Owen in my mind but starting to lose their images.

Tears stung the backs of my eyes. I didn’t force them down this time. I breathed through them as I shut off the water.

“You’re alive. You’re breathing.”

The words and voice were my comforts. I held on to them now but tried not to shove down the memories, either. Some part of me knew it would be a healthier path through if I could hold both at the same time.

Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped two towels around myself. Kol had given them to me, along with a hairdryer he used for Sky. The towels were soft and plush—nothing like what I remembered of my single towel in the cell. That had been rough, small. And I’d always been so scared to shower that I’d only done it when I started to smell.

“You’re alive. You’re breathing.”

I moved to dry my hair, studying the incredibly long strands in the mirror. I hadn’t cut it in almost a year and a half. Not in the time I was in the dark, and not after, when I couldn’t handle being touched. Maybe now.

A surge of something hit me. Bravery.

Tightening the towel around my body, I opened the bathroom door. I expected the bedroom to be empty, but instead, I found Kol sitting on the edge of the bed in worn sweats and a tee emblazoned with the emblem for Wylder’s bar. He looked tired.

But the moment I stepped out, his eyes were on me. Searching. Seeking. He didn’t ask anything. Instead, he simply said, “Sky’s asleep.”

My mouth curved the slightest bit. “She raced Owen for hours. I’m not surprised.” I was quiet for a moment. I shouldn’t ask him for yet another thing, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Can you do something for me?”

Kol instantly straightened. “Anything.”

The answer came so quickly, it was a balm, easing my nerves a fraction. “Will you cut my hair?”

He blinked back at me. “Cut your hair …”

I nodded. “It’s too long. I just … I haven’t been able to because I didn’t want to risk a freak-out. But now—”

Kol stood. “I can cut your hair, Phoenix.”

“Thank you.” He always understood. He could fill in the blanks when I didn’t have the exact words.

He grimaced slightly as he crossed to a box on his dresser. “This might not be a salon-style job.”

“Doesn’t have to be.”

Kol opened the box and pulled out two pairs of scissors. “I’ve got these from making a costume for Skylar for Halloween last year. I feel like fabric scissors would be best.”

I gaped at him. “You made Sky’s Halloween costume?”

His mouth curved the barest amount. “Don’t give me too much credit. She was a princess superhero. I just had to make the cape because she had everything else.”

“I’m still impressed.”

Kol grunted. Still not liking any compliments, he handed me the scissors. “Take these. I’ll get the stool.”

We filed into the bathroom, and I lowered myself to the wooden seat. I could just see myself in the large mirror.

Kol gathered my wet hair in his hands, the sensation sending beautiful chills skating over my skin. “How short?”

I studied myself in the mirror. How short would the new me want it to be? A bob? Just a few inches? I kept looking until I felt the answer. I wanted to be able to pull it back in a braid or up in a ponytail, but I wanted the weight gone. I wanted to feel … free.

“Here.” I gestured to just below my shoulders. “Right here.”

Kol met my gaze in the mirror. “You’re sure?”