Into the Fading Twilight (Starlight Grove, #2) (94)
I didn’t look away from those light and dark eyes. “I’m sure.”
He nodded. “I’m going to get some of the length off first, and then I’ll make it even shorter.”
“Good plan,” I said, a little breathless, nerves and excitement stirring in equal measure.
Kol kept a hold of my hair in one hand but leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “You’re the strongest person I know.”
Unshed tears stung my eyes, and I didn’t battle them back. I just let them hang.
Kol lifted the large pair of scissors. He placed them just above where my hair was gathered in his fist and waited, his eyes asking silently for one more confirmation.
“Do it,” I whispered.
He began to cut through my strands bit by bit. And as he did, my tears started to fall. Silent grief for all the hair carried. Silent relief for beginning to let it go.
“I’m remembering,” I told him quietly.
Hair fell to the floor as Kol stilled, his eyes jerking to mine in the mirror.
“Keep going,” I croaked.
He forced his eyes back to the task, kept cutting.
“I remember being alone in the dark. I remember wondering if I would die there in that hole.”
Kol sucked in a sharp breath but didn’t stop his work.
“I remember the shackle biting into my skin. And I remember the light was worse than the dark because it meant he was coming.”
Energy, a battle for restraint, hummed through Kol, making the scissors almost vibrate.
“I remember shaking so hard my teeth chattered. The taunting words he spat at me. His hands closing around my throat.”
Kol’s fingers were gentle now. So opposite of the man in my memories, my nightmares. He lifted a piece of hair, trimming even as I knew I was breaking his heart. But he was doing it for me.
“I couldn’t breathe. And I thought for sure that would be it. But it wasn’t. He just wanted to see how close he could take me without the game coming to an end.”
More pieces of hair fluttered to the floor. Bit by bit. More of the weight leaving me.
“But that wasn’t the worst.” I swallowed hard. “He told me that no one cared. That no one was looking. That everyone was glad I was gone. That he was the only one I had.”
Kol’s eyes blazed with gold fire as they met mine in the mirror. “I cared. I was looking. I didn’t even know you yet, but I was looking. And now? I’d find you anywhere you went, Phoenix. Because you carry me with you. You always will.”
Tears tracked down my face. “I know. I don’t feel alone. Not anymore.”
“You’re killing me,” he rasped.
“We’re almost done,” I promised.
Kol jerked his head in a nod and kept cutting, more hair falling to the floor.
“When you found me …” My throat constricted as I tried to let go of my greatest shame. “I didn’t want to go on. I didn’t want to fight.”
“Nova,” he croaked, unshed tears glistening in his beautiful eyes.
“But you lent me your strength when mine was burned out. You gave me what I needed to push on when I couldn’t take another step. And you remind me every day what it is to fight.”
Tears slid down Kol’s cheeks as the scissors made one final cut. He set them on the counter with a clank, his hands moving to my shoulders. “Greatest honor of my life, holding you here when you needed it.”
I felt those words even as I saw him through the mirror. As I saw myself as the person I was now, freer and stronger. I didn’t look away from the mirror as I spoke the words that had always terrified me. Until now. “I love you.”
Kol stilled, both the dark and the light blazing in his eyes now.
It didn’t matter if he said it back or not. It wasn’t about that. This was about me giving something to Kol. Telling him exactly what he’d done for me and who he was to me. And the only word for that was love.
He moved in a flash, turning me and lifting me onto the counter. “Tell me again.”
My mouth curved as I wrapped my legs around him. “I love you.”
Kol took my mouth then—a long, hungry kiss. His tongue slid across mine as if he were trying to drink the echo of the words.
He pulled back ever so slightly, his lips brushing against mine and then staying right there. “Tell me again so I can feel it here.”
“I love you.” Each word stroked my lips against his. Each syllable burned into his mouth.
“I love you with all I have. It might not be perfect or everything you deserve, but you have all of me.”
My nose stung as I breathed through a fresh wave of tears. “Perfectly imperfect, remember?”
“I remember.”
My fingers sank into his hair. “Boss?”
“Yeah, Phoenix?”
“Take me to bed.”
“Now who’s bossy?” he asked, smiling against my lips.
I nipped his bottom lip. “Sometimes, it’s good to be the boss.”
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Nova
THERE WAS NO HESITATION IN KOL. HE LIFTED ME AS IF I weighed nothing, my legs hooked around his hips as he carried me over the scattering of hair on the tile floor. I felt like I weighed no more than that snow on the air I thought I’d seen when he found me.