Lies and Weddings(92)
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Conversation between Luis Felipe Tan and Eden Tong…
“What do you think?”
“Of what?”
“Of the food.”
“It’s rather good.”
“That’s it? This is the hottest restaurant in America right now and you think it’s ‘rather good’?” (Puts on a very affected British accent.) “Well, to be honest, the pasta’s overcooked and the sauce is a bit heavy for my taste.”
“Want me to have the chef’s kneecaps broken?”
“That’s not funny.”
“Jeez, lighten up, I was just kidding.”
“It might have been funnier if I hadn’t witnessed your bodyguard beat up that host.”
“That ass face needed to be taught a lesson. He disrespected us.”
“I think you and I might have different ideas about respect.”
“You know he treated us the way he did because we’re both Asian. If we had been white, he wouldn’t have dared treat us that way.”
“What are you talking about? He was rude to everyone. He was rude to Daniela first.”
“My point exactly. She’s Persian, and he treated her like a carpet he could piss all over. You live in England, right?”
“I do.”
“Most racist fucking country I’ve ever been to. And all the Brits at my boarding school in Switzerland thought they farted sunshine.”
“I’m guessing it was a very posh school. Things are different these days. We’ve got our problems, but for the most part it’s easier nowadays to be accepted.”
“Accepted is different from respected. I spend time in England myself—I own a penthouse in Knightsbridge and a golf club I’ve never even been to. I can tell you the Brits have zero respect for Asians. If you’re not white and Anglo, you’ll always be a foreigner to them. Remember, for four hundred years they were our colonizers and we were their slaves. So it’s time we taught them a lesson.”
“By having some poor chap roughed up by your bodyguards?”
“Nah. Most of the time I just whack ’em with my big fat wad of cash.”
“I wonder what your father might think of that.”
“My father was the one who taught me all this! You think he’s some saint just because he’s got cancer now? Ha! Did you know he grew up in Hong Kong, where he was shit on daily by the Brits? Then he moved to the Philippines and built one of the biggest fortunes in the world. Only Filipinos treated him decently. He taught me the most important lesson of all: everyone has a price.”
“That’s the most important lesson he taught you?”
“Yes. Anyone can be bought, sold, and controlled.”
“I see…”
“What are you doing after dinner?”
“Going home.”
“No you’re not. I’m having a huge party tonight, and it’s going to be epic. You’re coming back to my house.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I’ll give you a million dollars to come back to my house tonight.”
(Eden rolls her eyes.)
“Two million.”
“I’m not playing your game.”
“It’s not a game.”
“The booze and whatever else you’re on are clearly impairing your judgment.”
“Hey, I’m baked as a banana bread, but I’m not drunk. Can’t you tell the difference, Dr. No? I’m dead serious, I will write you a check right now for two million dollars if you come home with me tonight.”
“I’m not a Murakami painting.”
“Three million dollars.”
“Good night.” (Eden folds her napkin, places it on the table, and gets up, as everyone stares at her.) “Think you’re too good for my money? Give it all to charity if you’re Mother fucking Teresa.”
“You could just do that yourself. Try Doctors Without Borders.”
“Are you really going to deprive Doctors Without Borders of three million dollars in order to satisfy your ego and prove me wrong? Think how much you could do for them just by coming to my party.”
“You know, instead of throwing a party or throwing your money around, maybe you ought to think about being with your father. All he wants to do is spend time with you. He really doesn’t have much longer, and I guarantee you all the money in the world will never bring him back.”
(Eden exits.)
Skip Notes
* Most young people who live in Beverly Hills don’t usually say that they live there. They may say they live “in Trousdale” or “off Coldwater” but will never say “Beverly Hills.” (The inverse is true of people who live in the neighborhood of the Beverly Hills Post Office, who will tell every single person they meet.)
VI
Cloudline
GUEST WING ? NEXT AFTERNOON
Thomas paced the terrace outside the guest wing, wondering what was taking so long. His medical team had been asked to leave the room after Rene suddenly summoned his lawyers, and Thomas hadn’t been allowed access to his patient for almost two hours. A hummingbird buzzed by his head, and he watched as it chased away the other hummingbirds trying to feed off the gooseberry bushes in the garden.