Sauter (Ironside Academy, #3)(94)

“You also can’t stop them from reacting how they’re going to.” Charlie shared a guarded look with Teak. “There needs to be space for you to have feelings and for them to have feelings. You can’t control theirs and … you also can’t control yours, I’m afraid.”

Isobel smiled a little, suddenly feeling tired enough to sink into the armchair and fall asleep. “I’m discovering that.”

“What’s the worst that could happen if you accepted the bond you’re hiding from?” Teak suddenly questioned, turning the conversation in a direction Isobel hadn’t been expecting.

“I could lead an empty life locked away in an apartment in the sky with nothing to fill my time until the day I disappear without a trace.”

Teak nodded, sharing another quick look with Charlie, who nodded glumly, before she shifted to the edge of her chair, reaching for Isobel’s hands.

“Your mother didn’t disappear without a trace. She died of cardiac arrest.”

Cardiac arrest.

Her heart stopped.

Suddenly, Isobel couldn’t breathe again. It was everything she had feared. Her mother had taken on all of her father’s darkness without Isobel there to share the load … and it had proved too much.

“And what’s the worst that could happen if you stopped fighting your feelings for … well … your feelings?” Teak prodded, squeezing Isobel’s fingers, and ducking her head to catch Isobel’s attention.

“I could lose the person I’ve found here that finally feels like me,” she rushed out, realising that she was shaking so much, she was causing Teak’s sleeves to tremble slightly. “I could lose this awful spark of happiness that scares the hell out of me. It’s not that I felt invisible before and now suddenly I’m famous. I still feel just as invisible, but now there are people who seem to understand me. It’s like they know me better than I do, and I don’t want to lose how that makes me feel. I’m discovering myself through them, and I wish I wasn’t. I wish I was doing it all on my own.”

“We don’t go through life all on our own,” Teak said soothingly. “Changing your environment is how you change yourself. Your environment has changed in a big way, and it looks like the Alphas in Dorm A are a big part of your environment here. If you like the way they’re influencing you, then maybe don’t fight it so much. If something happens to pull you away from them, you’ll still have everything they taught you. You won’t lose any of it.”

“And it makes total sense that they’re having such a profound impact on you.” Charlie moved to sit on the arm of Isobel’s chair, draping her arm over Isobel’s shoulder and giving her a gentle squeeze. “Their lives have been the opposite of yours in every single aspect. They’re respected where you’re looked down on. They’re powerless where you have all the wealth and influence of an Icon’s daughter. They’re celebrated and you’re disregarded. They have impossible standards to live up to, and you’re underestimated every single day, in every way possible. They have so much to teach you and you have so much to teach them. It’s not surprising that you’re drawn to each other … I mean some things are surprising—”

Teak swatted at her again. “Stop it.”

“Do I sound like I’m judging?” Charlie laughed.

“No,” Teak grumbled. “You sound impressed.”

“She counted out eight of them,” Charlie stage-whispered. “And then she said and.”

“I was just trying to count Cian twice because he’s so … hot,” Isobel protested weakly.

The two women retreated, Teak checking her phone while Charlie just sat back in her chair, still smirking.

“I asked your father for an update on what his plans were to help you through the summer break.” Teak frowned as she scrolled across her screen. “It looks like he still hasn’t replied. Has he spoken to you?”

“Not since last week.” Isobel shrugged. “He’s really preoccupied with getting this new superhero movie. He’s up against Bellamy’s dad and things are getting a bit tense. I’ve met with his assistant and Cooper more than I’ve met with him the past few weeks.”

“Cooper’s the guy with the goatee, right?” Teak asked, tapping her chin. “I saw him in some of the coverage of your settlement tour. Is he your official manager, or your father’s?”

“Mine, now. Dad made me sign a contract to keep him on after I got out of the hospital. But he’s more of a messenger than anything.”

“I’ll try to get into contact with him instead.” Teak sighed, slipping her phone away. “I’m worried your father won’t prioritise the need for surrogates over the break. He should have submitted an application for one of them already, and there’s been nothing. At this point, it’s going to have to be an emergency application.”

Isobel’s blood ran cold. “Maybe he forgot. He’s been really busy.”

“All right, well we can leave it there for now. I think we should continue our sessions over the break. At least once a week. We can video chat and I can intervene if I see that your health is at risk.”

Isobel stood, chewing on her lip. “I didn’t last very long on the settlement tour without a surrogate.”