Stars in Your Eyes(15)

Riley is similar to me in some ways, like when it comes to shame about his sexuality—but personality-wise? He’s the opposite of me. He’s everything I wish I could be. He laughs loudly, freely, dances when he wants to dance and sings when he wants to sing. He could happily run through the middle of a field butt naked. I’ve always been the kind of guy who would rather suppress myself so that I won’t be judged. I think that’s why it hurts, more than anything, when someone says I’m boring. There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert, but I wouldn’t say that I am one. I actually love speaking to people—feel energized when I get to know others. But I can also be so shy and awkward and like I’m trapped in a shell, and…I’ll never be the life of the party, like Logan Gray and his celebrity friends, but I wish I could feel comfortable enough in my skin to just be myself.

Gray’s scenes wrap quickly. He’s talented as hell, no one can deny that, and he nails each take. There’s no point in wasting money and time by doing more than necessary. He has his mic taken off, and he’s given the green light to take a break. I’m surprised when I see him walking off set—and right toward me. He’s still wet, his hair dripping. He pats it dry with a towel, and some black strands cutely stick up straight. It’s funny that his hair’s texture also changes when it’s wet, like mine. Maybe it’s because he’s mixed. His father, Jameson Gray, is white. He seems like an intimidating man, from what I’ve seen in photos and interviews. Jameson’s production company tends to release Michael Bay–like films. It’s almost funny, how unalike Jameson and Logan Gray seem to be.

Logan’s smirk inches onto his face as he gets closer to me. “Staring at me longingly from across set? Isn’t it a little too early for that?”

My face heats up. “No. I was just watching. I was curious.”

He leans against the table where I’d set up camp. “Relax. I figured I’d come over. Check off our assignment for the day.”

Dave had created a literal schedule and even printed it out for us. “Your emails might be hacked,” he said, but I think he was just excited to hand us the papers like they were for an official production. Right now, Logan and I are supposed to be seen speaking and laughing, as if we’re starting to like each other. Dave is talking to his assistant, but he meets my eye from across set with a grin. He looks like he’s seconds from giving a thumbs-up. He isn’t as subtle as he could be.

“Right. This is going to be kind of weird, huh?”

Gray shrugs, grabs a cup, and presses down on a nozzle for some coffee. Isn’t it too hot for that? “Not really. Just got out of one of these—ah—arrangements.”

It takes me a second before it clicks. “Wait, really? Willow Grace was—?”

“Keep it down.”

I clear my throat and turn my back to the rest of set, also facing the table. God. Emma would flip if I told her about this one. “So, all of that with the breakup…?”

“Planned. She wanted to release the video. I went along with it.”

I wasn’t going to mention the video. I rub my cheek awkwardly.

Logan notices. “You’re not shy about my porno, are you?” He practically laughs at my silent non-reaction. “You’ll have to get over that shyness pretty quickly.”

“I don’t have a problem with sexuality while acting,” I say, though I wouldn’t really know for sure. In Love Me Dearly, I kissed my crush, the boy next door, and that was it. Other smaller productions before my breakout role never had any sex. “I’m a professional.”

He does laugh at that one. “God, you’re so fucking uptight.”

That rattles me more than I’d like to admit. An assistant passes by, and I force a blushing smile. “Yeah. Well,” I say under my breath, “not everyone has the luxury of fucking up all of the time.”

Harsh. I didn’t mean for it to come out so—well—mean. There’s an awkward silence where Gray looks up at me, holding my gaze. I blink, open my mouth to apologize, but he interrupts.

“Look at that. Golden boy has some bite to him after all.”

“I’m sorry. That was unnecessary.”

He shrugs a shoulder, still eyeing me. “Let’s get to the point of this.”

There was one main goal Dave had for us today. A conversation where it seems we’re liking each other more than we thought—and by the end, some easy flirtation. Nothing much. Just enough for anyone watching closely to notice. And someone always is. There are reporters on the edge of set speaking to a publicist, craning their necks to get a look at us. It’s not like it’d be new, for two actors to hook up outside of their roles. Long work days usually mean even longer partying hours for cast and crew, and sets can start to resemble sororities and frat houses with all the drama of who slept with who.

Gray takes a sip of his coffee. “It’s going to take a lot for us to pull this off.”

He’s waiting. I didn’t expect he’d leave the first move up to me. I laugh as if he’s said something funny. “Why?”

“Because not many people are going to believe I’m actually attracted to you outside of filming.”

I falter. Maybe I brought that one on myself. I insulted him first, after all.

“I’m not that bad looking, am I?” These words are a little too close to actually sounding flirtatious. It was a real question. But pair that with the softer smile, leaning in, hand on his arm…