The Break-Up Retreat(75)

My ex has been trying to talk to me ever since then. I had to change my phone number because she wouldn’t stop calling. For a while, she came over every day, just pounding on the door for hours. I work from home, and I was terrified that my boss would hear and that I would get fired. I thought about calling the police, but I was scared they wouldn’t take me seriously. Or that they would believe her over me. She’s very pretty, and very charming. I know I can come off as strange. I was scared that the police wouldn’t believe me if I said that she was harassing me, or that she had hurt me in the past. Luckily, I didn’t have to, because she finally stopped.

Yesterday, she left a note in my mailbox. When I recognized her handwriting, I thought my heart would stop. But in the note, she apologized for everything, and she asked if she could come over at seven tonight to pick up the things she left and say sorry in person. She wrote that I don’t have to open the door for her, but that she loves me and that she just wants to end things on good terms.

She’s supposed to come over in forty minutes. My heart is racing, and I don’t know what to do. Please, don’t call me dumb for this, because I know I am, but a big part of me misses her. Despite everything. I think it would maybe be good for me to hear her say that she’s sorry.

Things went so wrong between us, but she’s been through a lot. I know she doesn’t mean to be like this, she’s just in pain. I know she loves me, and I hurt her. Do I maybe owe it to her to say goodbye, now that she’s calmed down?

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6 comments

u/MedusaInChains-18:16 09/17/2023

Do NOT open the door, and dont let her in. Is this the same girl who wanted to take you out into the woods??? Seriously, if she comes by, you should call the cops. They might not listen to you but they will probably scare her off!!!

u/BigBuxomButchBabe-18:19 09/17/2023

Sweetheart, trust someone who is speaking from experience: do not let this woman back in your life. You are not stupid for missing her, but she does not mean you well. This is just another manipulation tactic.

Reading between the lines, it sounds like your ex was not “only” emotionally abusive, but physically as well. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say she sounds dangerous.

Your instincts were very good when they told you to leave her. Your mom would be so, so proud of you. Make her proud again, and take care of yourself, and keep that door locked. You owe her nothing. Pain does not make someone abusive, nor does it excuse abuse.

u/HappyologyMaster—21:01 09/17/2023

OP, can u update us? i hope im not overstepping but i think i speak for all of us when i say were worried about u

u/BigBuxomButchBabe—07:39 09/18/2023

Second that, OP. No matter what happened, please tell us how it went last night. We’re here for you. You can DM me if you don’t feel comfortable discussing it in a public forum.

u/HappyologyMaster—16:20 09/26/2023

did she ever write to u? ive been checking this post every day for an update but i havent seen anything

u/BigBuxomButchBabe—19:03 09/26/2023

No. I haven’t heard anything. I’m telling myself that she maybe just didn’t feel like talking about it on reddit anymore, but I have to confess I’m horribly worried. I wish there was some way we could contact her. I have a really, really bad feeling about this.





Chapter 41


The screaming is high-pitched and searing, and I hear someone shouting: “Stop it, stop! It’s fine!”

It’s not pitch-black in here; a little light is escaping through the gauzy curtains, making it look like I’m surrounded by ghosts, shapes in the dark.

One of them moves over to the window, and then Martina pulls the curtains aside, letting in what little light is out there.

The storm has gotten worse in the short time we’ve been in here; the rain outside looks like a solid entity, the water thundering down from above, the clouds iron gray and furious.

Martina turns back to us. In the faint light, her lips look black as she says: “It’s all going to be fine. It’s nothing. The generator will come back online any second now.”

“Why did it go out?” Katarina asks. “You said it wouldn’t.”

“I’m a psychologist, not an electrician,” Martina snaps. “I don’t know. The storm might have brought something down.”

“The generator hasn’t come on yet,” Leyla observes. She’s standing by Clara, still holding her hand; she must have grabbed it when the lights went out.

Martina wavers.

“I’ll go check on it,” she finally says. “Might be that it’s not on. We’ve never actually needed it before.”

“That’s reassuring,” Leyla mutters.

“I don’t feel so good,” Clara says. When I take a closer look at her, she does look pale, but I don’t know if that’s just the low light.

Leyla looks from Clara to me.

“I think we should . . . go,” she says. “Isobel is right.”

Martina erupts.

“None of you can go!” she shouts, and the room freezes.

“You can’t exactly keep us here against our will,” Clara protests through pale lips.

Martina, looking at Clara, draws a deep, shuddering breath, briefly touching her palm to her sternum.