The Last List of Mabel Beaumont(62)

‘That’s people for you,’ I say, and Julie and Erin both turn to me. ‘I mean, people are so bad at recognising flaws in themselves, in general, aren’t they?’

‘Maybe so,’ Erin says.

We sit quietly for a minute.

‘Any big plans for New Year’s Eve?’ Julie asks.

I wait for Erin to respond. I’ve been wanting to ask her this, because I’d quite like to spend the evening with her, and I wanted to give her some money and ask her to get a few fireworks for us. I’ve always liked the drama of them, the spectacle, but Olly was terrified, so it’s been a few years since I saw any up close. But I’m sure she’ll have other plans.

‘I think a few of us from school are going to the Carpenters,’ Erin says. She doesn’t sound very enthused.

‘What about you?’ I ask her. ‘Plans with Martin?’

She pulls a face. ‘He’s seeing his mate, Jamie. Says it’s been booked in for months.’

Does she believe this? Is there a part of her that thinks maybe he’s seeing that woman, that Estelle, and this whole Jamie story is just a cover up? I don’t want to suggest it, because if she trusts him, that’s fair enough.

‘So you’ll be on your own?’ I ask.

‘Oh, yes, but it’s never been a big favourite of mine, New Year. I’ll probably be tucked up in bed with a cup of cocoa by ten thirty.’

I want to ask her to come here, but I feel foolish, suddenly. Have I made these friendships into more than they are? Am I at risk of being that pushy old lady who won’t leave them alone? I stay quiet, think of her and me in our separate houses, both spending the last evening of the year alone, and it seems a shame. A silence settles, a comfortable one.

‘Well, I’d better get dressed,’ Erin says, after a while. She clears the mugs, takes them through to the kitchen.

‘You don’t have to worry about her,’ I say to Julie, once Erin’s padded upstairs. ‘I mean, about me. She’s a sweet girl. She’s just a bit lost, that’s all.’

‘It’s kind of you to take her in,’ Julie says. ‘Just make sure you’re looking out for yourself as well as her, that’s all I ask.’

And then she gets up and busies herself again, and I’m left with my thoughts. Would this situation with Erin have come about if Arthur was still alive? I can’t picture it, her coming here to stay with both of us. But then, I can’t imagine having met her back then, either. I remember that first meeting, me sneaking that jar of piccalilli into my bag, the lack of judgement in her eyes when I looked up and saw that she was watching me. The old Mabel would never have done that. So who exactly is this new Mabel? A woman who steals, who makes friends with teenagers, who interferes in the lives of her new friends in a bid to make them happy? Is she someone I’m proud to be? Not quite. But she’s on the way, I think. She’s getting closer.

There’s a sharp rap on the door and Julie calls out that she’ll get it, so I don’t get up from my chair.

‘Come in,’ I hear her saying. ‘Are you all right? No, you were right to look for me here. What’s happened?’

They come into the room and I know it’s Patricia without even looking round, because I can smell that perfume she wears, like sunshine and beaches. She’s in tears.

‘She’s so angry,’ she says. ‘She’s convinced I did something.’

‘Did what?’ Julie asks.

They must be talking about Sarah.

‘She got this text, warning her that Geoff had some other woman. That’s what made her come back here. But now they’ve been talking and he swears it’s not true, and she says she doesn’t want to believe I’d do this but she can’t think of anyone else who would have a motive. A motive! Like she’s investigating a crime.’

‘But that’s ridiculous,’ Julie says. ‘You’d never do anything like that.’

‘That’s just it,’ Patricia says. ‘I was desperate to have them back. I didn’t do it, but perhaps I would have done something like it, if I’d thought of it.’

‘That’s not the point. You didn’t do it, and she’s accusing you of it, and she needs setting straight. Do you want me to talk to her?’ Julie asks.

I imagine Julie wading in, and I know I can’t allow that to happen.

‘I sent that message,’ I say.

They both turn to look at me, and it’s as if they’ve forgotten I’m even there.

‘You, Mabel?’ Patricia asks. ‘But why on earth would you do something like that?’

I look down at the carpet, because I can’t stand the expression on Julie’s face. Deep disappointment. Disbelief.

‘I wanted you to be happy,’ I say, a little hesitant. ‘I wanted to help. You’ve helped me so much, both of you, and I wanted to do something in return.’

‘But surely you must have seen that this would backfire, that it would all come out,’ Patricia says, and her voice has softened.

Did I see that? Or did I not think beyond the part where Sarah would believe Geoff was a cheat and come home?

‘I’m surprised, Mabel,’ Julie says. ‘First Kirsty’s parents, and now this. What have you done to interfere in my life?’