The Life She Wanted: A Novel(52)

“It’s that simple?” Pandora asked in surprise. No one had ever explained it before.

“Take my advice and wait to have a baby as long as you can.” Daisy patted Pandora’s hand. “After I had Walker Jr., Walker looked at my body as if I were our Labrador after she had puppies. It takes more effort after a baby to keep a man attracted.”

Pandora stood on the Fricks’ porch overlooking Lake George. The night was still, and she could hear dinner parties at other houses. She wondered if the houses were full of happy couples, or if some of them kept secrets, like she and Harley.

Harley was enjoying himself. Walker had gone to Yale, and they talked about private clubs in New York. She heard Walker invite Harley to dinner at the Knickerbocker Club.

She couldn’t get Daisy’s words out of her mind. Pandora’s cycle had always been regular. Which meant she should have gotten her period three days ago. But she hadn’t. And there were none of the cramps that usually preceded its arrival.

A fear gripped her, and she couldn’t let it go. What if she had gotten pregnant on the night she spent with Archie? She finished her cocktail and went inside to join Harley.

After the dinner party was finally over, Pandora paced around the bedroom of their cottage, waiting for Harley to join her. Finally, the door nudged open. In one hand, Harley held a bottle of gin and in the other an empty glass.

“I’m sorry I took too long,” Harley said.

Pandora wondered how many glasses of gin he drank. His eyes were glassy, and he seemed much drunker than when they’d arrived back at the cabin.

“I’m not the least bit tired.” Pandora kept her voice light. “I had a wonderful time.”

Harley put the bottle on the desk next to the window. He refilled his glass.

“All the men said how lucky I am to have such a lovely bride,” he slurred. “It’s a pity I’ve created a mess.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Harley gulped the gin. “Yes, you do. It’s been on your mind ever since we drove away from Blythdale. I saw you this morning at the bakery.”

The boy behind the bakery counter had big blue eyes and dark, curly hair. He had talked to Harley for a little too long, and when he handed Harley his loaf of bread, their hands touched.

Pandora glanced down at her wedding ring. Harley was right. She had been jealous. She needed to learn to control her emotions.

She wondered what Harley would say if he found out about her night with Archie. Would he be jealous, or would he feel relieved that Pandora found passion with someone else? The thought filled her with despair. She truly loved Harley. She never wanted to give him a reason to doubt her.

“You’re imagining things.” She soothed him.

Harley put his glass down and sank onto the bed.

“You wish I was like other husbands who can’t wait to go home and make love to their wives.” He gazed up at her. Grief and resignation were in his eyes. “Pandora, you know I love you. I want to make everything all right.”

Pandora walked over to him. She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

Harley didn’t say anything. He stood up and unbuttoned his shirt and took off his pants.

Pandora watched him. His calves were narrow and sinewy, and he had wide, muscular thighs. The hair on his arms and legs was golden, as if he spent every day of his life in the sun.

Harley drew her toward him. She thought he was going to kiss her, but instead he reached down and stroked her breasts. The exquisite tingling, the darts of pleasure she experienced with Archie, unexpectedly filled her.

She was about to kiss him, but she held back. Some instinct told her to wait.

Harley fumbled with her buttons, and the dress fell to the floor. He didn’t stop to pick it up. He kissed her neck and pushed her hair from her shoulders.

Pandora let out a gasp and leaned against him. Harley pushed her down on the bed and lay beside her. She wanted him to kiss her deeply the way Archie had. Instead, his hands moved down her thighs.

Then his body was above her, and she waited for him to enter her, for the waves to begin. Suddenly he slipped and fell on top of her breasts. He lay there for a minute, and Pandora waited for him to try again. His breath became even, and she knew that he was asleep.

She thought again about her late period. If she was pregnant, and the baby was Archie’s, it could destroy her marriage. How could she have done such a thing? And what made everything worse is that for the first time since her mother left, when Archie held her and whispered that she was beautiful, she had felt like she was enough.

Whatever happened, she would have to live with the consequences. Harley was so drunk; he wouldn’t remember anything in the morning. All she had to do was convince him that they had consummated their marriage, and she’d be safe.





Chapter Thirteen


September 1927, Hyde Park, New York

In early September, Hyde Park shimmered in the heat. The sidewalk outside Ruby’s Ice Cream was so hot that an ice cream cone melted in minutes. Women wore large floppy hats, and the cars parked along Main Street were too hot to touch.

Pandora walked down the steps of the doctor’s office. She had known what Dr. Bancroft would say before he examined her. Pandora was almost three months pregnant. The baby was due in February.

After their one failed attempt to consummate the marriage in Lake George, Pandora and Harley didn’t try to make love again. The baby couldn’t be Harley’s.