The Life She Wanted: A Novel(56)

“Why would I need it?” she demanded. “Harley and I want children.”

“You just got married; you want to enjoy yourself first,” Virginia said. “That’s what’s so wonderful. You can decide when to start a family instead of getting pregnant by accident.”

“Why do you have it? You said you’re not ready to make love.” Pandora folded her arms.

“Don’t you see, it gives me freedom,” Virginia commented. “Why should women risk pregnancy for a night of pleasure, while men can do whatever they please. It’s like getting my hair bobbed or not wearing a corset anymore. I don’t want to live with restrictions. It’s all part of being a modern woman.”

Pandora put the cap back in the box. For some reason, looking at it upset her. She was uncomfortable talking about sex, even with Virginia.

“I don’t agree,” she said defiantly. She stood up and walked to the window. “Anyway, it’s too late. Harley and I are having a baby.”

Virginia’s mouth dropped open. If Pandora weren’t so agitated, she would have laughed. It was almost impossible to shock Virginia. Virginia had always known everything before Pandora: how to flirt and how to wear makeup, even how to kiss. Virginia demonstrated with a pillow when they were fourteen. Pandora had been so afraid that Archie would walk in and laugh at them she took her pillow and practiced in the closet.

“You can’t be pregnant so soon. You’ve only been married three months,” Virginia exclaimed. “What did Harley say? And what about your plans to open a boutique?”

“He doesn’t know yet. I saw Dr. Bancroft today,” Pandora replied. “I’m still going to open a boutique, but I’ll put it off until after the baby is born.”

Pandora had already resolved that she wouldn’t give up her career goals. She would hire a baby nurse and later a nanny.

Suddenly her anger toward Virginia dissolved. Virginia had done nothing wrong. Pandora was anxious because of her situation.

“Harley will be thrilled—all men want to be immortal,” Virginia assured her.

“I hope so.” Pandora nodded.

All her misery returned. She couldn’t tell Virginia about what she had done. She was too ashamed, and there was nothing Virginia could do.

For a moment, Pandora wondered how her mother had felt when she discovered she was pregnant with Pandora. Was she happy, or did she feel that she was no longer in control of her life? Is that what it meant for women not to have choices? Once you were married, with children, your life wasn’t your own.

Pandora would never be like her mother. She was certain she’d love the baby more than anything.

Virginia stood up and hugged Pandora. She dropped the wooden box into her handbag. “You should get one of these after you have the baby. The way you and Harley are going at it, you’ll be having a baby every year.”

After Virginia left, Pandora sat at the dressing table and tried to convince herself that everything would work out. She had to put Archie and her guilt out of her mind. Archie already had his life planned, and the important thing was that Harley believed the baby was his. They had to make the marriage work.

It was the best thing for everyone.

A few hours later, Pandora waited for Harley in Blythdale’s living room. A pitcher of sidecars stood on the sideboard, along with a plate of deviled eggs.

Dr. Bancroft said Pandora could drink as much as she liked. All the fuss about alcohol being bad for the baby’s health was a result of doctors supporting prohibition. But tonight, she couldn’t afford to lose herself in the pleasant haze of cognac and triple sec and lemon juice. She had to be alert when she told Harley her news.

She heard the sound of footsteps, and Harley appeared in the hallway. She never tired of looking at him. He wore a pin-striped suit from his tailor in New York and one of his new trilby hats.

Pandora walked over and kissed him.

“Well, look at all this.” He whistled, taking in the chilled cocktail glasses and floral china plates. “Makes me wish I came home every night, instead of only on the weekends.”

“I’ve missed you,” Pandora said truthfully. “This week seemed to stretch on forever.”

“I’m starving,” Harley said as he bit into a deviled egg. “The only drawback of driving into New York instead of taking the train is I don’t get to relax and eat a sandwich. I ran into Archie at the station. He’s going to come over tomorrow for a game of croquet.”

Pandora wondered how it would feel to see Archie again, to tell him that she was pregnant. She couldn’t give away her secret.

She handed Harley a cocktail.

“That reminds me, Virginia was here,” she said cautiously. “She saw that friend of yours, Porter Merrill, in Harlem. I wondered if you’d seen him since the wedding.”

For a moment, Harley didn’t move. Then he took the glass.

“New York is huge,” he answered. Pandora saw a flicker in his eyes “Why do you ask?”

“We received their wedding invitation, and I wondered if Porter knew what they wanted from the gift registry,” Pandora said hastily. “I can ask Doris, but if you were going to see him, it would save me a phone call.”

Harley seemed to believe her. His features relaxed.

“I thought women lived to be on the phone.” He sat on the sofa. “Let’s talk about something more interesting. I want to see the paint swatches for Summerhill.”