The Life She Wanted: A Novel(84)
Pandora smiled. Archie had always been so supportive.
“I can’t wait to meet Esme. I brought her something; I’ll go get it.”
Archie disappeared, and Pandora sipped her cup of tea. It was so easy being with Archie. She had missed him more than she thought. She had to tell him about Esme. There was no reason to put it off. Even if Archie got angry with her, this wasn’t about Pandora. It was about being honest with the two people who were so important to her.
“It’s a musical bear.” Archie set the teddy bear on the counter. “You wind it up and it plays ‘Teddy Bears’ Picnic.’ It’s all the rage in London.”
“Esme will love it.” Pandora smiled at the bear. “There’s something I want to talk about, something you should know.”
Pandora took a deep breath, and then told Archie how Harley admitted that he was homosexual days before the wedding, how they came to an agreement and decided to still get married. Pandora would have the money and social status to open her boutique, and in return, Harley would have a life protected from scandal.
“Harley and I loved each other, we both wanted to make it work.” She fiddled with her teacup. “But it was still a shock. I never meant for our night together to happen. Then I found you in the study, and just once I wanted to make love with someone who desired me.” She glanced at Archie to see his reaction. “Then I went to see Dr. Bancroft and found out I was pregnant with Esme.”
Archie’s brow was furrowed, and his eyes were darker than she’d ever seen them.
“What did Harley believe about Esme?”
“There was a night on the honeymoon when he’d been drinking,” she said evasively. “Harley thought we conceived Esme then, but the marriage wasn’t actually consummated.”
Archie clenched his hands into fists. He paced around the kitchen.
“Why did you choose me? Did you ever think about my feelings?” he barked. “And why didn’t you tell me that you were pregnant?”
“I wanted to, but it didn’t seem right. You had just gotten engaged to Lucy, and I was determined to stay married.”
Archie set his plate in the sink.
“This has been very enlightening.” He turned to Pandora. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go.”
“Where are you going?”
He wrapped his scarf around his neck.
“You’re not the only one with commitments. I’m going to see Lucy, and then I’m going to sleep at the townhouse in New York.” Without another word, he strode out the door.
After Archie left, Pandora went out to the cottage. She had never seen Archie so hurt and angry. She had tried to explain why she’d kept Esme’s parentage a secret from him. She wondered if there could be another reason that he was so hurt. Could Archie have feelings for her? That was impossible. Ever since Pandora had arrived at Riverview as a child, she and Archie and Virginia had been inseparable. She remembered the leaves she and Archie used to collect. The ones they had written wishes on and kept in an old shoe box. But the wishes had been childish and innocent.
Pandora had done what she had to do. Even if Archie never spoke to her again, she had done the right thing by telling the truth. She told herself she felt better, but she was lying. She had an odd feeling in her chest. As if someone had cut out her heart with a pair of scissors.
Her sketchbook was lying on the coffee table. She flipped it open and picked up a pencil.
The best thing to do was focus on some new designs. Sitting in front of her sketchbook always made her feel better. She hoped it would work this time too.
For the next two weeks, Archie avoided her. If he was in the kitchen when she appeared in the morning, he picked up his bowl of oatmeal and piece of toast and went out to the terrace. When she came across him talking to his mother or reading in the study, he gave a curt nod and returned to what he was doing. Esme was usually in the nursery with Sally or playing on the lawn. A few times, Archie joined them.
Most of the week he spent in New York at the real estate firm. He spent the weekends with Lucy. It made sense; the wedding was in a little more than two months. But Pandora felt his absence as strongly as a wound that refused to heal. If only she could talk to him, make him see that she’d had no other choice. But she had already explained her reasoning, and he was furious. There was nothing she could do but wait and hope that eventually he would come around.
She missed him so much. More than when they had both been in Europe. Knowing that he was so close but refused to talk to her made her curl up inside.
She longed to share her successes with him and hear everything about running his father’s firm. And she longed to see him with Esme. They had so much to give each other.
On Friday afternoon, Pandora sat in the living room at Blythdale, waiting for Adele to appear with Esme. Adele loved playing with Esme, and Esme adored spending time with Adele.
Adele entered the living room and gave Pandora a long look.
“Esme is washing up; she was playing on the lawn. It wouldn’t hurt you to take some time off and enjoy the outdoors.” Adele studied Pandora’s pale cheeks and narrow waist. “You’ve been working so hard all summer. You’re thin as a bird.”
“I can’t stop working.” Pandora shook her head. “As soon as I finish the winter collection, I have to start on designs for next spring. The fashion world is six months ahead.”