The Long Game (Long Game, #1)(114)

Cameron’s expression wavered but I knew he wasn’t going to deny it. He wasn’t going to try and play it down, either. Cameron wasn’t that kind of man. “I didn’t know for sure.”

I felt like my legs might double under my weight.

My mouth opened and closed wordlessly, until I managed to summon my voice. “How long have you known?”

“A day,” he said. “But I didn’t really know. Not for sure.” He retrieved his hands, reluctantly, as if he knew I needed the space but was unsure about letting go. “Liam, my former agent. He’s the one who heard the rumors. He only mentioned it because the Flames asked about me.”

The Flames. They’d asked about Cameron? What else had I missed? Clearly, too much. “I didn’t know,” I murmured. “But I should have known. All of this.”

“I don’t think your father wanted you to know,” Cameron answered so simply, so easily, that a part of me wished to be mad. But I wasn’t. I was confused. And hurt. His arm reached out, but he stopped himself. His hand made a fist by his side. “It wasn’t really an offer, and had it come to that, you would have been the first person to hear before I considered it. But that’s not what’s upsetting you.” He paused, and I—God, why was I feeling so… lost right now? Why did I feel like everyone was keeping me in the dark about my own life? “I was going to tell you about the rumors, love. But I’m not going to lie to you, I was going to wait until later today.”

And that’s what I couldn’t understand.

I should be packing my bags right now. I should be on a flight, going back to Miami to fix this. To stop this. To tell my father not to let David manipulate him, that I knew about the bribing. That he shouldn’t sell. But instead I was here, trying to figure out why I felt so… heartbroken. Betrayed.

Needing to think, to order my emotions and the whirling thoughts in my head, I pushed away. I put distance between us and stopped at the counter at the opposite side of the kitchen.

A strangled sound left Cameron.

I shoved away how horrible that made me feel, how much I hated being the one responsible for such a loud sign of distress, but I couldn’t articulate a thought when he touched me. All I felt was him.

“You knew what David was doing,” I told him, trying to understand. “You know how I feel about the club, too.” I shook my head. “And you were letting me stay here in this… fantasy world. Playing games.” I ignored the hurt in my chest at hearing my own words. “God knows what David must have done to make my father consider a transfer. This is all my fault.”

Cameron stepped in my direction. His mouth opened.

I held up a hand. “Don’t make excuses for me or what I’ve done. Not now, please.” I brought my hands to my temples. Closed my eyes for an instant. God. What was I doing? “I should be packing, not playing house with you.”

His jaw clenched so tight, I could barely see his lips. “This was never a game.” He took one step forward. And I moved back, the bottom of my spine hitting the counter behind. “I was not goddamn playing, Adalyn. And you told me yourself you understood that. Last night.”

“But you kept me in the dark,” I told him, in a low, quiet voice I didn’t like. Cameron’s mouth parted but no words came out. “Just like them. Even if it was only for a day.” I shook my head. “You know? All I’ve ever wanted was to be… seen. To leave a mark. To earn his approval and prove to everyone that I could be just like my father.” My own words echoed in my ears, as if I was hearing them out loud from my own mouth for the first time. “And now, it’s possible that I’m too late and I can’t do anything to fix any of this.” My voice broke, and I had to clear my throat before continuing. “I really wish you were right. I really wish this whole thing wasn’t a game, but life is one. And no matter how much I try, I seem to always, always lose.” I closed my eyes, my head too fuzzy. My thoughts meshing and mixing about. “My being here was always meant to be temporary, anyway.”

“Don’t,” Cameron said.

My throat felt tight, a spot between my chest and stomach turning too tender, too weak. “I need to go. I should have been on a flight by now. I need to fix this before it’s too late.”

Cameron stepped in my direction, so carefully, so slowly, that I wasn’t even sure he’d moved. “Adalyn—”

“No.” My head gave one brisk shake. I didn’t want to hear him excusing me. Or taking my side. I didn’t want to hear him saying that this wasn’t a game again. “You should have told me the moment you heard. Even if it was just rumors.”

“Maybe I should have.” His whole face tightened up, as if he wanted to shut down but couldn’t. Every emotion started bubbling up to the surface. His nostrils flared. “But that’s not what I did, so no.”

I blinked, taken aback by the blunt admission.

“No,” he repeated, firmly. “I did what I did, and as much as I hate that you found out like this, I don’t regret taking the decision not to tell you until I was sure of that really happening. You know why? Because I goddamn refuse to let them take something else away from you.”

That tender spot in my chest spread, growing larger, making me so vulnerable I was now terrified of his next words.