The Love of My Afterlife(55)

“Come on, Delphie,” Cooper scolds, as if he weren’t the one just fooling about. “This ruse is a long way from over.” His eyes glint excitedly, cheeks lightly flushed. Is…is he enjoying himself?

We clamber up to a small grass verge until we reach some sort of outhouse connected to the main building.

Cooper reaches into his inside pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper, opening it up to reveal a printout of an architectural plan or something.

“Is that Derwent Manor?” I gasp. “You printed out plans?”

“Of course. How else would I know there was an outhouse?”

He hands me the paper and hops up a step to peer through the window of the outhouse. “I need a rock.”

A task for me at last. I search for the best rock I can find. I pick up two and discard them, settling on a large round one that’s heavier than the others.

“Good rock.” Cooper nods his approval, bounding back down off the step and passing it between both of his hands. “Next, I’m going to throw this through that window.” He points at the outhouse window. “According to the most recent fire safety report of Derwent Manor, there’s a fire alarm just to the left of the window. I’m going to set it off. Everyone will be brought outside for a count, at which point we will slip into the crowd. I’m betting that guests will be irritated enough by the interruption that no-one will ask to see tickets for a second time. And you and I? We will smoothly saunter back in with everyone else. Just like we’d always been there.”

I grin. “I’m impressed, Cooper.”

“We can’t rest until we have that first glass of champagne in our hands. That’s when we’ll know we have successfully infiltrated the event.”

“And I can finally, finally find Jonah!”

He nods, face suddenly serious again. Then he steps back, and with much more force than I personally believe is necessary, he chucks the rock through the outhouse window.





27





The window shatters so loudly I’m afraid the whole party must have heard it.

“Shit, Cooper! That was bonkers loud. What if—”

“There’s a ten-piece swing band playing in the hall,” Cooper assures me, hopping back up to the outhouse and carefully reaching his arm into the window. “No-one heard.” He squints for a moment, feeling around the inner wall before his eyes light up. “Got it! Okay. When this goes off, we’ll go round to the front and melt in with the others. Are you ready?”

I nod furiously, my heart starting to thud. “I’m ready!”

Cooper wrenches the fire alarm and a high-pitched siren sounds out so loudly the strength of the vibration makes my boobs and belly wobble a bit.

Cooper jumps down and together we march around the side of the building, trying to move quickly but not run. It’s harder than I thought it would be, keeping cool. I’m panicking on the inside but must present as gala serene on the outside. Look how I belong here! See how I glide in like this is just an everyday part of my charmed life! I glance over at Cooper and yelp at the sight of blood dripping thickly from his hand.

“Shit. Cooper!”

“What? Can you see someone? Have we been made?”

“No! You’re bleeding!”

He looks down at his hand. “So I am.”

“It’s really, really bleeding. It must have been the glass on the window frame.”

“Delphie, reach into my inside pocket,” he instructs. “There’s a spare handkerchief in there but I don’t want to get blood on my tux.”

I hurriedly open up his tuxedo jacket and root around the inside pocket, feeling a multitude of bits and pieces but no fabric.

“I can’t find it,” I say, frantically wiggling my hand around his pocket.

“The other side. Try the other side.”

I do and I’m now so close to Cooper that I can see the outline of his chest against the white cotton of his shirt. I can smell his soap. My heart starts to pound. It must be the sight of blood. I’ve never been queasy about it before, but this is already quite a high-octane situation for someone who, until last week, had only spoken to four people in the last year.

“There’s no hanky in there either!”

“Christ. I must have forgotten it.” Cooper stumbles slightly, at the blood loss or his surprise at forgetting something? Could be either.

The cut is bleeding really badly now. Heavily enough that in another few minutes we’re going to be in a serious pickle. The fire alarm stops and we hear the sound of guests exiting the front of the hall.

“Let’s just go inside, okay? We need to get that seen to. It doesn’t matter if they suss us out. We can’t have the both of us die for this.”

“Die? What? No. It will stop any minute now.”

“Let’s use your suit jacket to stem the bleeding.”

“Then my jacket will get covered in blood!”

“Who fucking cares right now? For someone who went to Oxford, you can be a bit thick sometimes.”

I press Cooper down onto the grass. He doesn’t look the type to pass out, but better to be safe than squished forever beneath his massive chest. Then I get a brain wave. I reach into his inside pocket once more, pulling out the Swiss Army knife. I lift up my dress and cut a slit into the shorts part of my shapewear, ripping right around the thigh until it’s fully torn off. I step out of it, immediately kneeling down and wrapping it around Cooper’s hand, squeezing it as tightly as I can.