The Sky Beneath Her(20)

But that day, Nathan had broken his arm somehow. He’d called Mom from the emergency room and told her he couldn’t come and to wait. But Mom was impatient to see the wreck that day, so she drafted me as her dive buddy, allowing me to skip school. I was thrilled. We’d dived hundreds of times before, and neither of us worried about the last-minute switch. That was another small link in a string of missteps that would matter a great deal later.

“I’m great.” His voice was deeper than I remembered, with hints of gravel. “I didn’t know you were back.”

“Just arrived today. I’m working with Kaitlin.” I held up my bundle as proof. “I’m here to bring you towels.”

My face warmed as he stared at me. Shit. When we’d met, I was sixteen and he was twenty-two. God, I had such an intense crush on him. But he always kept things so professional. He might joke or kid around, but he never reacted to my awkward flirting.

Back then, I was tanned, fit, and so confident. And now here I stood. No makeup. Covered in sweat. And sporting an extra ten, maybe fifteen pounds that had settled on my ass. How far the mighty have fallen. It was the lone Bible verse my mom would quote when someone—mostly me—got a little too full of herself.

I handed him the towels. “Good to see you.”

“And you. You here for good?”

“No. Just for the summer.” Here could never be home. I hadn’t forgiven this place for taking Mom. “Helping Kaitlin and cleaning and clearing out a house in Southern Shores for my company. And then, who knows?”

He grimaced. “Back to the city and a cubicle and the husband?”

His teasing shifted me to defense. “Maybe to the cubicle. Divorced the husband.”

Nathan’s grin widened. “I never pictured you in an office.”

No more mention of Dave, which was just as well. I said sarcastically, “And yet, I make my living in an office.” I was a coward. I’d traded the ocean I loved for the land. “Again, sorry about the towels.”

As I turned, Nathan said, “Hey, I’m glad I saw you. I want you to hear this from me first.”

The last person who had said those words to me had been a coworker who’d reported she’d seen my soon-to-be ex-husband sucking face with his new administrative assistant in a darkened restaurant booth. I heaved the edges of my lips into a smile and faced him. “What’s that?”

“I’m going to be diving the Oceanus.”

The ground shifted as if I were on the deck of a rolling ship. “Really?”

“I hated the way it ended. I want to spend time with her and see if she has any more secrets.”

The Oceanus had more to her story, but I still hadn’t decided whether I wanted to know it. Annoyance long buried deep swam to the surface. “How it ended? An understatement, I think.”

He stabbed long fingers through his hair. “It always bothered me that I didn’t dive with Mariah that day. I would’ve dragged her to the surface.”

Nathan was right. Mom would’ve listened to him. But hearing it from him felt like salt water on a wound. “I get it. She didn’t listen to me. I should’ve tried harder.”

“You had a soft spot for her. And she could talk you into all kinds of crazy adventures. That’s natural. She was your mother, and she loved you. But I’d have grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the surface. No one survives without air or in a storm like the one that swept up the coast that day.”

Weather forecasters had eventually classified that storm as a nor’easter. Arriving in May, it was late for the season, but its tardiness didn’t weaken its impact. Winds had reached forty miles an hour. Mom was so convinced the storm wouldn’t materialize.

The seas were still relatively smooth as we motored north. Mom was moody but optimistic. She was never happier than when she was preparing to dive a wreck. And her enthusiasm was measured. She’d always been blessed when it came to the water, and reliance on luck was the first major mistake.

We’d dropped anchor at the wreck’s coordinates. I kept glancing at the few clouds gathering to the north. She told me not to worry. And then we jumped into the water, and the ocean pulled us under.

The final mistake was mine. I’d assumed Mom would follow me when I’d signaled her to rise. I believed she’d have the sense to leave the wreck, knowing we’d return another day.

After, Nathan had called me several times, but I let it all go to voicemail. He’d left the Outer Banks by July, and that was that.

I cleared my throat. “Why dive here now?” I asked.

“I applied for a grant to explore the Oceanus and received it.”

Imagine that we’d end up here at the same time.

“I tried to write you a dozen times, but I never knew what to say,” he said.

“Not much you could say.”

“You’re wearing her coin,” he said.

“I found it in my mother’s suitcase after. She left it for me.”

“Why did she leave it?”

“I don’t know. Why do you want to dive the Oceanus again? She’s cursed, as far as I’m concerned.”

“Cursed? You sound like a true sailor.”

“Still think the gold is there?”

A frown deepened the lines bracketing his mouth. “It was never about the gold for me.”