The Sky Beneath Her(90)

Before I opened my eyes, I listened to Nathan breathe quietly beside me. Last night had been great. Too great. And if I’d learned anything, good things always ended.

He rolled onto his back. “Stay.”

“It’s a busy day. I’m meeting the auctioneer at the house.”

He faced me. His dark hair was messy from my fingers clutching fistfuls when things had really gotten rolling. His crooked smile made me sorry good things didn’t last. “Do you need help?”

“No, I’ve got it.”

“You need open water practice before we can dive the Oceanus.”

“When do you think we can dive the wreck?”

He traced a strand of hair from my eyes. “If all goes well, a few days.”

It would be easy to be with Nathan. “Great.”

I raised the coverlet and swung my leg over the side of the bed. Carefully, I picked up my pants and shirt. As I pulled them both on, he rose and walked toward me, unmindful that he was naked. He cupped my face in his hands and gently kissed me on the lips. “I have two charters today, and I won’t be back until after sunset.” It would take him time to chat up his clients, unload his tanks, and clean the boat. He wouldn’t be back here until close to nine.

“I’ll catch up with you soon. The rest of the week is going to be crazy.”

He laid his hands on my shoulders. “Sounds like you’re trying to avoid me. Is it the dive or me?”

“Both, I think. I might need a few days to process.”

“I thought what happened was pretty great.”

“It was. Just unexpected.”

“I get it.” The patience in his voice made him so much more appealing. It would have been easier if he weren’t such a nice guy.

“Last night was great. But . . .”

“You think it’s all going to go sideways.”

“I’m worried that I’m attaching to you out of fear. I did that with Dave, and it wasn’t good for him or me.”

“I’m not asking you to live my life.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“This really is a me thing. I don’t trust myself not to grab the first anchor when life gets difficult.”

He pulled me into a hug, and despite myself, I relaxed into his arms. He smelled of sunshine and his own musk. After he’d moved away seven years ago, he’d left one of his shirts behind. I’d slept in it for at least a year. “We can figure this out,” he said.

I wasn’t so sure. “Okay. For now, I just need a little time.”

“I’ll text you for our next dive date.”

“Terrific.” Either way, I was going to dive the Oceanus, and there was no other diver I trusted more than Nathan. I pulled out of his embrace, kissed him again, and then left.

When I slid into my car, I found him standing in his doorway, wearing shorts but shirtless. He looked a little sad, as if he faced another problem he couldn’t fix.

I started the engine and backed out of my spot. The wheels were rolling, but I felt a little like I was on autopilot. At a stoplight, I leaned against my steering wheel, wondering why I’d let our relationship go to such a different level. Any other guy, and I would’ve appreciated the night and left with no lingering emotional strands. But Nathan was kind, and I’d always known I could rely on him. He’d never ask me to live a life that wasn’t mine. And yet, I feared loving him more than I feared the ocean now.

A horn honked, and I looked in the mirror and saw an SUV behind me. I pressed the accelerator and drove back to the flattop house.

When I walked through the front door, light from the morning sun leaked through the shutters facing the ocean.

I showered and took time to dry my hair and apply a little makeup. I set up the percolator. I leaned against the countertop, my head in my hands as it gurgled. When the coffee was finally ready, I poured a large cup and made a peanut butter sandwich. I was halfway through the coffee and sandwich when my phone dinged with a text from Kaitlin.

Kaitlin: What’s up?

Me: Just gearing up for the day.

Kaitlin: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to get like that last night. I really will pay you back.

Me: It’s really not about the money.

Kaitlin: It is for me.

I sighed and sat down in the living room. I get it. Hard to need help.

Kaitlin: I’m the solid one. The practical one.

Me: I know. And I love you for that.

Kaitlin: The surf shop is going to work.

Me: And I’ll get back to diving. Life is short. Do what we love, right?

A truck rumbled into the driveway, and I looked out to see Morrison’s Auction House on its front door panel.

Me: Got to go. Time to sell some furniture.

Kaitlin: See you soon.

Me: Definitely.

I slid the phone into my back pocket, walked to the front door, and opened it to a woman in her early sixties. She had dark brown hair and bright red lipstick.

Her expression radiated curiosity when she saw me. “Tula?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been doing a lot of research on this house since you contacted me. I have to say, I’m excited to see what you have.”

“Please come inside. I have coffee.”

“No, thank you.” She grinned. “I’ve already had a few too many cups.”