This Could Be Us (Skyland, #2)(96)

“That came out wrong,” Soledad says when I don’t respond but stand stiff and taut. “I wasn’t thinking of him when we… I mean, I was, but not—”

“If you could just say what you mean because this is making me… I don’t like feeling this way, Sol.”

“What way?”

“Like punching a hole through a wall because you’re kissing me and thinking about him,” I admit through gritted teeth.

She gets off the stool and walks over to stand in front of me, linking her fingers with mine.

“We went to see Edward in prison today,” she says, her voice subdued but her eyes connecting with mine, hiding nothing. “The girls asked if they could.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.” I rest my palm flat against the base of her spine and draw her closer, surrendering to her heat and the enticing scent of jasmine.

“The visit itself was fine, I guess.” She shrugs, bites her lip, and tucks a wavy lock of hair behind her ear.

“What happened?”

“When we were leaving…” She closes her eyes and releases a stilted breath. “I saw Amber.”

“She was visiting Edward too?” I ask, my brows going sky high at this plot-thickening detail.

“She had a baby, Judah.” She blinks wet lashes up at me. “Edward’s baby.”

“The fuck?” I mutter, completely nonplussed. “Are you sure?”

“I confronted her about it, and she admitted it, so yeah. I’m sure.” She drops her head to my chest, muffling her next words with my shirt. “But I would’ve known. The baby has Lupe’s eyes. Edward’s eyes.”

My muscles tense with rage on her behalf. “I’m sorry. Did your daughters see?”

“No. I’ll have to tell them eventually, of course, but I spotted her in the parking lot when we were getting in the car. A secret baby with his secretary? What a fucking cliché.”

“If he hadn’t gotten caught, there’s no telling how long he would have maintained the lie.”

“Oh, I think at least part of it would have collapsed.” She laughs humorlessly, her gaze trained on her ankle boots. “He would have eventually left me.”

“Why would you think that? Because of Amber?” I shake my head. “He had to recognize what he had in you, Sol. He was a fool, but he was always bragging about his beautiful wife and how she was such an asset. Threw the best parties, hosted clients better than anyone. He wasn’t trading that for a side piece.”

“But he had a shinier, newer model.” She bites her lip. “Eventually he would have left. I’m just glad I saw him for what he was.”

“So what did she say when you confronted her?”

“She just insisted she wasn’t a home-wrecker, which is true. Our home was already wrecked. I just didn’t want to face it because that would have capsized my entire existence.” Soledad looks up at me and offers a one-sided grin. “I was so afraid of losing a life that wasn’t serving me well just because I wasn’t sure what else there was. I should thank Amber, if I’m being honest.”

“For real?”

“For real, because now she has to put up with him for at least another eighteen years. Besides whatever limited contact he has with the girls,” she says, her shrug philosophical, “I’ll be free of him.”

“You seem to be coming to terms with this.”

“I think I’m still processing. I’m shocked and angry, but it also gave me perspective. I didn’t escape a bad marriage and an awful husband just to go through life half-living. I want more than what I have now. In a few months, Edward will walk out of prison a free man. He finally got his boy. He’ll have everything he wanted, and I have taken so little for myself.”

I stiffen. “Is that why you came here today? To take something for yourself?”

“What would you think if I said yes?”

Though everything in me screams that I should take her upstairs before she changes her mind, I pause and consider. I’ve wanted Soledad for a long time. I’ve invested in getting to know her, in understanding what motivates her, and this isn’t like her. I won’t toss all of that away for a quick fuck, though my persistent erection thinks that’s exactly what we should do.

“I’m not sure how I feel about being your revenge sex, Sol,” I tell her.

“You’re not. This was spurred by the realization that Edward gets what he wants, and I don’t, but reducing my story to revenge makes it about him. His betrayal was a catalyst, yeah. It was a spark that set fire to an unsatisfying existence. I had silenced the woman screaming inside of me so much, I didn’t even realize just how unsatisfied she was. I was. This life, this adventure I’m on—I’m orchestrating. Edward is a footnote written in afterthought ink.”

“What about self-partnering and dating yourself?”

“I’m still on a solo journey,” she says, her eyes meeting mine frankly. “That doesn’t mean I can’t have something that is strictly for my pleasure. For our pleasure, if you’ll accept my conditions.”

“Which are?”

“This is a one-time offer. If I want to do it again, I’ll ask you again.”

“And what if I want to do it again? Are you the only one who gets what they want out of this?”