Vengeance of the Pirate Queen(62)

I don’t know what nonsense I’m spouting, only that I hope it will get through to him.

“The process has already begun, Sorinda. It can only be finished.”

“But you intended to use the panaceum to help lots of people. Can’t you make someone else immortal to be with you?”

Threydan looks at the ground beside his bare feet. He still hasn’t bothered with shoes or a shirt. Is that how the men during his time dressed? What place was he from that it was so hot he couldn’t be bothered to cover up? Or does he simply prefer to wear so little? To prove that he’s not afraid of anything? Not the elements and certainly not a blade.

“The full powers of the artifact could have been shared freely once. Before I had to make the difficult choice to fuse with it. It can still be used to heal whomever I wish. I’ve already done so with that nasty gash on your cheek.” My hand involuntarily flies up to my face. I had forgotten all about the injury. “But I can only make one person immortal as I am. I intended that person to be my sister. Now that she’s gone, I’ve chosen you. You are my savior. My resurrector. My equal. Together we can live forever and do whatever we wish.”

And yet, still he says nothing of his cause to cure the sick and heal the wounded. No, he healed me because he needs me. Or perhaps he did not want my face to scar. Either way, he speaks nothing of a cause to aid those who are in need. If that was ever truly his motivation, it clearly isn’t any longer.

My face doesn’t alter at each new realization he gives me. If anything, I try to soften my features. But I don’t know the first thing about that. I’m sure I look like I sat on something sharp.

“You said you fused with it?” I ask. “What exactly did you do? Swallow it?”

Threydan shrugs. “I knew I could not die, so I cut open my flesh and inserted the panaceum within.”

My eyes rove over his body, looking for some telltale lump to suggest where it might be. When I get up to his face, I notice he’s smiling at my inspection.

“Where is it?” I ask.

“If you are thinking of trying to cut it out of me, it will not work, fierce Sorinda. Many have tried and failed. I cannot be parted from it.”

If I was thinking of cutting it out of him? Certainly, I was.

“How big is it?”

He brings his thumb and forefinger together to make a circle. “Like this.”

“Sounds like it was painful.”

“It was at first, but I cannot feel pain anymore.”

No pain. What is that like?

“At all?” I question. “Not even the pain of losing your sister?”

At that, his smile drops. “No physical pain,” he amends.

Ah. “So you’re to live for eternity with the pain of loss. Doesn’t that frighten you?”

He shrugs. “Why should it? I will live forever. I will have plenty of time to make a new family. Make new friends. I will have more people to care for me than ever before.”

The more he talks, the more I realize how much my capacity for hate can grow. Everything is about him and how he feels. People are replaceable.

Has he always believed this? I felt his love and devotion to his sister when I saw his memories. Was she the exception? Or has time changed him? Or perhaps the panaceum, an item that changes you physically, is also capable of changing who you are on the inside. If so, what would long-term exposure to such a thing cause?

And since it’s already made changes to me, am I in danger of losing who I am, too?

The thought is more terrifying than anything else. I am deadly as is, but what if I had no conscience? What would the panaceum have me do for the rest of my days? A killer who is unkillable?

I can’t allow that to happen.

“But you will continue to lose everyone forever,” I say. “You will live while everything else grows old and passes on.”

“Except for you,” he says, his eyes heating. “Everything except for you.”

I try not to grimace at the words, but he must see it.

“You cannot fathom anything more than one life because it is all you expected, but you must learn to see the greater possibilities, Sorinda. You must imagine all the good you could do with immortality. Imagine a life where you can fulfill your every whim because no one can stop you.”

My every whim?

No.

I live for others because my sins are unforgivable. I serve Alosa because she is good and will keep me on the right track.

Anything else is unthinkable.

“Good, you are considering the possibilities,” he says, misinterpreting my silence. “That is all I can ask for today. That you just consider what we could do. Now then, do you have any questions about me? Not what I can do but who I am? Please, Sorinda, just get to know me. I know you’ll like what you learn.”





Chapter 18





OH NO.

Now I have to feign interest in him?

I’ve never done that before in my life.

I’m no actress. I’m not good at being anything other than myself or silent, which I suppose are the same thing.

I rack my brain for something to ask this man with the expectant, hopeful features. The one who holds my future and that of my crew in his hands.

“How old are you?” is what comes out first.