When She Falls (The Fallen, #3)(115)

Dem huffs. “Do you remember how much shit you gave me when you thought my feelings for Vale were affecting my decisions? Now look at you.”

“I know. I didn’t get it then. I get it now.”

“You’re the only person I’ve ever trusted unconditionally,” Dem says.

He’s trying to mask it, but I hear the hurt in his tone. I look up at the ceiling. “I wish it hadn’t come down to me going against your orders, but the situation was chaotic, and I had no time to think through the alternatives.”

“Damn right you didn’t think,” he snaps. “You’re so fucking stubborn. And you don’t know how to ask for fucking help. That’s always been your problem, even back when you were a kid. If you’d come to me and explained what the fuck was going on with you and Gemma, we could have come up with a plan in a day or two.”

I shake my head. “You know that’s bullshit. You were mad when you realized I’d gotten involved with her. You told me I should have known better.”

There’s a pause. “I may have been a bit frustrated with you.”

“You kept insisting that I come back. I couldn’t leave her when she was in the state she was in.”

“All right, and after you left? Why didn’t you call me?”

“Because I wasn’t sure if you’d already sent someone for my head. I didn’t want to make it easy for you to track me down and kill me.”

“Seriously?” He sounds outraged. “Did you really think I’d do that to you? For fuck’s sake. You’re my closest friend, not to mention Vale would have had my head.”

Relief fans through me. Thank fuck. We’re getting somewhere. “I didn’t know how you’d react to what I did. We’ve always been a team. Always working in sync. This was the first time we didn’t. I crossed a line I’ve never crossed before, and I didn’t know what would be on the other side of it.”

There’s a long pause. “Cazzo. All right, I’ll admit I didn’t leave a lot of room for discussion when you called. I didn’t realize how far you’d fallen for Gemma. I thought you were just having fun with her, causing shit like always.”

“I get it.” That’s what I’d always done before I met her.

“Every woman you’ve ever been with after Sara was nothing more than a fling.”

“Gemma’s not a fling.”

“I gathered that much after you chose her over your don.”

I rake my fingers through my hair. “It wasn’t an easy choice. Since I left, I’ve had time to reflect and…” I try to put my thoughts into words that’ll make sense. The reason why I never got seriously involved with anyone after Sara was because I stopped believing in love. I didn’t think it was something meant for me. I couldn’t put myself out there after having my heart ripped out. I couldn’t be vulnerable again. But I couldn’t resist it with Gemma. I knew all the possible consequences, but with her, I wanted to try anyway.

I sigh. “We’ve worked together for a decade, Dem. A long fucking time. And I did everything I could to help you get the things you wanted. Working for you, helping you build your empire and knocking down Sal gave me purpose. But the truth is, I never really considered what I wanted out of life. I was on autopilot. And when I met Gemma…” I look at her. She’s hanging on my every word, her eyes wide. “Well, she’s the first thing I’ve truly wanted in a long fucking time. And when I realized it, I knew I’d do anything to have her. Even if that meant failing you for the first time. I’m sorry, but I had to do it.”

She wraps her arms around me and presses a kiss to my shoulder.

Damiano clears his throat. “Look, I never wanted it to be a choice between me or her. It doesn’t have to be that way. I…” He blows out a breath. “Perhaps it wasn’t fair of me to push you as hard as I did to come back here.”

A knot inside my chest loosens.

I lean back against the broken headboard. “I should have called you earlier. I didn’t know what to say until now, I guess. And when Gemma left me, I just wasn’t thinking straight.”

“You went back to New York to keep an eye on her?”

“Yeah. I’d never felt worse, but I think some part of me still hoped a miracle would happen.”

“Sounds like it did. Vale’s proud of Gemma for doing what was right for her.”

“Me too. She’s a warrior.” I catch Gemma’s eye, and she smiles at me. “There’s something else you should know.”

“What is it?” Dem asks.

I lie down, propping my head against Gemma’s knee, and put the phone on speaker.

“Gemma’s pregnant.”

There’s a prolonged pause. “Hold on.” A beat passes, during which I’m certain he’s turning on his own speaker. “Can you say that again?”

“Gemma’s pregnant,” I repeat.

There’s a loud yelp on the other end of the line.

“Oh my God!” Now, it’s Vale on the phone. “You’re what?!”

Gemma and I grin at each other. “You heard it right,” Gemma says. “I found out yesterday.”

Vale starts yelping and offering her congratulations, and I just watch Gemma as she talks to her sister excitedly.