Wish You Were Her
Elle McNicoll
To the booksellers and the book festivals.
Thank you for all of it.
And to Josh. True love, best friend and bodyguard.
You’re every male lead I write.
“A Star is Made!” And she is every bit as unapproachable as a star in the heavens. Allegra Brooks is a supernova, make no mistake. But what is actually beneath the glittery, polite veneer? I’m afraid, reader, this journalist was unable to find out.
Julie M. Atkins writing for The Eyewitness
I’m waiting in the front entrance of Balthazar when a waiter comes over to discreetly tell me that my lunch date is already here. I must look surprised and in truth, I am. I’ve interviewed many a sleb in recent years, and they all come in a number of different designs. Some like clean diets of lemon juice and raw vegetables (which is code for weight loss, drug usage and aesthetic surgeries), others are addicted to spending every waking moment in the gym (or rather, taking videos for social media of their workouts in activewear they’ve been sent by a sponsor). I’ve met musicians who chain smoke, influencers who collect Pomeranians like they’re designer purses and celebrities who escape their families by obsessively working. There is only one quality that they all have in common:
Lateness
So I am inordinately stunned as the waiter leads me to a dark and quiet corner of the restaurant. Waiting for me is none other than my interview subject: Allegra Brooks. It seems I am the last to arrive, for once.
I ask about her family background. Her mother, Roxanne, works in publishing and her father, George, runs a bookshop in a small town. She tells me he’s prepping for a big book festival there, one that he hosts every summer.
“I have a whole summer off. I’m not sure what to do with it yet. It’s the first little bit of freedom I’ve had since I started working.”
This young woman’s screenwork may be extraordinary but getting behind the dark glasses is like squeezing blood from a stone. There’s something off about her. Something strange. I’ve seen stars rise, I’ve seen them fall. None have seemed as inhuman as this girl. It’s uncanny. She’s not doing anything disturbing. Her stunning smile is there. But the beautiful naturalness that she has on camera seems so unnatural in person. I feel both attracted and almost entirely repelled …
Continued on page 75 …
SEARCH RESULTS FOR “ALLEGRA BROOKS”
@lunadeclare
I don’t know who needs to hear this but Allegra Brooks is highly overrated.
@morrisey1983
Allegra Brooks used to respond to fan letters and DMs but she hasn’t answered any of mine since winning at the Globes. So, screw her, I guess.
@mira2335
Allegra Brooks bought out a whole movie screen for some autistic kids in my neighborhood and they had the most amazing time and I’m kinda mad that no one is talking about it tbh. I only know about it because my dad works there. Why don’t the papers report that?
@JJ4765442
Dear Allegra. You still haven’t responded to my messages. I will take drastic action if you continue to ignore me.
@marzipanlight
Allegra Brooks won’t see your mean comments about her body but your curvy friends will. Be nice. @AllegraBrooks #BeTheChangeYouWantToSee
TOP NEWS STORIES FOR “ALLEGRA BROOKS”
Showbiz News: Allegra Brooks leaves Court of Bystanders after-party early. Could breakup with ex-frontman be getting to the young starlet?
Update! Director Bon Michaelson claims Allegra Brooks could be “the next Marilyn Monroe”—if not for her lack of eye contact and quiet manner on set.
Source Tells Private Lives that Allegra Brooks will take summer off. Has overnight success become too much for Hollywood newcomer?
Chapter One
By eighteen, Allegra Brooks was used to hearing her name from the mouths of strangers. She was accustomed to people speaking excitedly to her without introducing themselves. She was even used to the occasional grab and shove.
But she never quite acclimatized to being pulled apart by people she had never met. She watched fans become her biggest critics, all because her boundaries had angered them.
“Stop scrolling. Put that phone down.”
The words were whispered to Allegra by Natalie, her publicist. Natalie was twenty-six and the hardest-working person Allegra had ever met. She would often ask herself “what would Natalie do?” before forcing herself into a party she had been terrified of going to, because the woman’s professional courage and work ethic put everyone else to shame. The two of them were in the back of a hire car—they were due to appear at a swanky benefit for literacy—and the tinted windows offered a brief respite from the outside world.
“Nat,” Allegra said, her voice shaking a touch, as she swapped her dark glasses for her regular ones. “I’m not—”
“Forget that stupid article. Stop reading those comments. It’s basically self-harm at this point, Allegra. Enough,” Nat said firmly. “Being loved on a massive scale means being disliked and misunderstood just as much. It all balances out. Wear the dark shades, there are tons of photographers. You’ll get overstimulated. Don’t think about that stupid hack of a writer. I never should have agreed to her.”